“It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.”
Christian Louboutin Studded Patent Leather Platform Pumps, $1395.00 at Saks Fifth Avenue
Giuseppe Zanotti Printed Metallic Suede Wedge Pumps $795 at Saks Fifth Avenue
Brian Atwood Alesha Studded Leather Platform Pumps $970 at Saks Fifth Avenue
But if you HAD to wear one, which one gets your well-shod nod?
I don’t suppose this is the criteria you were expecting, but the first one is the only one I even might be able to walk in. (Not walk well, but take the occasional stumbling step in.)
If it were a more reasonable height, the studded leather of the last one might be cute. Though I’m not sure studded leather and peep toe really go together for me.
Comment by Jacquilynne — August 10, 2012 @ 9:21 am
The last one, easily.
Comment by Pegkitty — August 10, 2012 @ 9:25 am
Yeah, I’d go for the red spikes, for walkability, plus they are easily weaponized for the crass remarks you are sure to get.
Comment by MrsBug — August 10, 2012 @ 9:59 am
Also, I <3 Dolly.
Comment by Leah — August 10, 2012 @ 10:09 am
I would have to choose depending on just how much damage I would do if I were to twist my ankle while walking in any of them, and how far down I’d have to fall as a result. Which means the Louboutin wins. However, Louboutin has hit rock bottom (I can only hope) with shoe ugliness, so I can easily live without them.
Comment by ChaChaHeels — August 10, 2012 @ 10:10 am
The Louboutins. I can’t resist red shoes.
Comment by Lorraine — August 10, 2012 @ 10:19 am
It depends. Do I get to have a good looking red-headed handler like Lady Gaga to help me walk? Because if so then the Atwood. If I have to walk without assistance I’ll stick to my bare feet thanks.
Comment by jfsnyder — August 10, 2012 @ 10:40 am
I would rather go barefoot over hot tar than wear any of these. Better to have my taste questioned than proven bad.
Comment by Klee — August 10, 2012 @ 11:46 am
Louboutins. Just enough bad taste to be interesting… :-)
Comment by txbunny — August 10, 2012 @ 11:55 am
Hmm… I chanced putting a link in my comment and I think it’s in the spam filter, so I’ll try again with no link. I’d wear the Loubs if I could add some green broaches to the toes for a strawberry look. Costumey? Maybe, but paired with a simple tailored sundress and maybe a straw hat and a perfect red lippy I think it can be pulled off.
If no additions are allowed, then I’d go for the Zanotti, some dark jeans, a fabulous tank, a brass cuff, and hit the club. So what if I fall? Maybe some Locte look-alike will catch me. Oh, and prep two ice packs for my calves in the morning.
Comment by Leah — August 10, 2012 @ 11:59 am
Klee wins.
Comment by Madame Suggia — August 10, 2012 @ 12:19 pm
I can’t possibly wear any of these but I love Dolly Parton.
Comment by Lisa in SoCal — August 10, 2012 @ 12:48 pm
My initial reaction was the bottom one but, on further thought, it might be fun to try the red spiky ones with a plain black dress and strategic accessories.
Comment by SarahC — August 10, 2012 @ 12:49 pm
As a gentleman, I am unlikely (unless I experience an unexpected flashback to my wicked youth, several decades past) to appear in any of these, but were I to have to choose, def #3, although I’d prefer that the studs were tiny rhinestones, for that litte something extra/trashier.
Comment by Muscato — August 10, 2012 @ 1:26 pm
The red ones. Since walking would be impossible for me in any of them, I want the ones that would look most commanding as I lounge about my supervillain lair and order my minions to bring me things.
Comment by TeleriB — August 10, 2012 @ 2:23 pm
I would only wear any of those shoes if someone paid me to do it, and I literally did not even have to stand up in them. In that case, though, the red ones. I think. They go with jeans, right?
Comment by Rebekka — August 10, 2012 @ 2:28 pm
The spiky red ones look like they would make the best defensive weapon, which could be handy since I’d be unable to run away, and possibly unable to stand up.
I am not sure I even understand the second one. Is it supposed to look like a hoof? How do you not just topple right over backward?
Comment by catrandom — August 10, 2012 @ 3:33 pm
Hands down the Louboutin. With dark wash skinny jeans and this Adrianna Papell sequined top http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/adrianna-papell-sequin-v-neck-top-plus/3319602?origin=category&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=1026
All kinds of flashy trashiness, with just a hint of style!
Comment by Jessica K — August 10, 2012 @ 5:33 pm
Mmmmm…red. Worn with a knee-length pencil skirt and fitted, one-button jacket. Probably in not-quite-black suiting.
Comment by skye — August 10, 2012 @ 6:00 pm
Oh golly. I just realized the bottom one has studs, not pin dots. So then… none of the above, thanks.
Comment by Wendy — August 10, 2012 @ 8:43 pm
I’d give the Loubs a try.
Like their classic profile mixed w/ boom-boom-pow of the studs.
:)
Comment by joods — August 10, 2012 @ 9:18 pm
I can’t imagine actually wearing any of them, but if i absolutely had to wear one– if, say the life of my first born child were at stake, or some one offered me pie– I’d probably pick the red louboutins. They’re ugly and cliched, but only really ridiculous. The other two are magnitudes of absurdity beyond. I actually cant imagine any time or place they would actually work. Well, the second ones might work with the right cosplay idea at a science fiction convention…
Comment by barbara — August 10, 2012 @ 9:19 pm
In real life I wouldn’t be able to walk in either of them, let alone have them on my feet.
But for the sake of science..
The third shoe is a no go, I have one dotted item in my wardrobe for the simple reason that it looks great on me. These shoes would not. I am not a friend of dots, curse you 80´s fashion flashbacks!
Then I get into trouble. I can see myself with the red pair and some really severe graphical getup for a masquerade. But no… not good enough, I can find more interesting costumes with better shoes.
The golden pair would look perfectly ordinary with a futuristic costume when cosplaying something like Star Trek though, especially the older pleasure oriented alien species…
Comment by Ravna — August 11, 2012 @ 12:32 pm
I’m with Klee but I would pay to Giuseppe Zanotti, Christian Louboutin and Brian Atwood try and walk in any of those monstrocities
Shoes that high are only intended to be viewed from below, while they point toward the ceiling
Comment by Thea — August 11, 2012 @ 1:01 pm
The Zanottis are the most visually interesting. Doubt I could do any more than hobble in them, though.
Comment by Ida — August 11, 2012 @ 3:17 pm
I am going with Ida and say the Zanottis. Don’t get me wrong I do like the Louboutins but I have to go with something a little more interesting.
Comment by JosieBella — August 11, 2012 @ 9:09 pm
the Zanotti – no questions asked
Comment by Sam — August 12, 2012 @ 3:20 am
I adore Dolly! The red Louboutins, for sure – could totally see her wearing them!
Comment by Catherine — August 12, 2012 @ 4:56 pm
The weird biomorphic metallic Zanottis. The red ones look like plastic and the black ones look like stripper shoes. At least the Zanottis are eccentric. Not that I could walk 4 steps in any of these without falling over.
Comment by Jezebella — August 14, 2012 @ 2:34 pm
I’d also go for the zanotti’s… they’re at least interesting in an architectural kind of way (and I’m sure that’s what I’d be thinking as I fell to the ground whilst trying to walk)
Comment by katie — August 17, 2012 @ 10:31 am