Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

September 21, 2012

Multiple Choice Time!

Filed under: Shoes — Miss Plumcake @ 2:40 pm

Well here’s a fun question.

Let’s say you have a talented, dynamic, beautiful friend who announces on Facebook she’s getting married.

Then let’s say you notice the name of the person to whom she intends to be wed is not the same name as the chinless twerp she had been dating –you know, the one who rifled through your bourbon vault without consent, because God forbid he NOT use your $250 bottle of 23 year-old Pappy Van Winkle’s Family Reserve to mix with his Dr Pepper– and for whom she was entirely and in every way too good.

Do you

a) Express your elation that she finally dropped the drip and ask where she is registered

b) Ask who this new guy is, adding comments as to how it hardly matters because anyone, or anything –dust bunnies, parasites, that moldy lemon in the back of your fruit drawer you thought was a kiwi– is better than the amalgamation of body odor and Cheetos that was her previous paramour.

c) double, no triple, no quadruple check the new fiance’s name is not merely the old fiance who has suddenly and inexplicably decided to start going by his middle name.


On the bright side, I now have another weekend in June free, and the money I save on my half of a Kitchenaid can be diverted to buying these new Badgley Mischka’s which are on sale and won’t ever raid my liquor cabinet.


  1. I’d stick with a BADASS VICTORY THEME! This one’s my personal favorite, but Final Fantasy’s victory fanfare is good too.

    Comment by BJ — September 21, 2012 @ 3:10 pm

  2. In order: first c), then b), then a)

    Comment by aa — September 21, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

  3. Assuming you did a) b) and c) in that order (who hasn’t?) console yourself that you can go to her next wedding.

    Comment by Madame Suggia — September 21, 2012 @ 3:47 pm

  4. Well, now I know how to save myself $200 and a terrible plate of overcooked prime rib. Thanks, Plummy. :-)

    Comment by Leah — September 21, 2012 @ 4:19 pm

  5. Ms. Plumcake is clearly the big winner here. I can think of a few ill-advised nuptials I’d gladly go back and trade for those shoes.

    Comment by Tora Pines — September 21, 2012 @ 4:37 pm

  6. Oh. Got it now. (My neuron’s slipping).

    Oh well. Be ready to be the shoulder-to-weep-on in — two years’ time?

    Comment by aa — September 21, 2012 @ 6:09 pm

  7. Also — what kind of an idiot suddenly decides to go by his middle name? I mean, even E.M. Forster was called “Morgan” since he was a boy!

    Comment by aa — September 21, 2012 @ 6:12 pm

  8. @AA: The sort of idiot who mixes 23 year-old bourbon with Dr Pepper, obviously.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — September 21, 2012 @ 6:34 pm

  9. I have a chronic case of Footinmouth Syndrome, so probably A or B. Those shoes are gorgeous!

    Comment by Bethany — September 21, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

  10. As someone who got reserve Pappy bourbon as a PhD graduation present, the thought of Dr. Pepper coming anywhere near my bottle makes me vaguely nauseous. Enjoy the shoes. Save a little bourbon for when she comes to you to toast the divorce.

    Comment by cedarg — September 21, 2012 @ 10:39 pm

  11. Well first those shoes are grade A sexy.

    And second. Whoopsie.

    Who the hell puts anything with “reserve” with it anywhere near a soda. Heathen!

    Comment by RHCD — September 22, 2012 @ 3:41 am

  12. a) will piss her off that you thought so little of her ex, whom she probably adored.
    b) See a.
    c) Could she really, actually do worse?

    On the plus side: GREAT SHOES!

    Comment by Tovah — September 22, 2012 @ 6:42 pm

  13. Ooops. :)

    The shoes! The shoes! Ayyyyyyyy they are so pretty. There are many,many, many reasons to hate MS, but the fact that can’t wear heels is a big one. (Granted, a shallow one, but life is short, and pleasures fleeting, and DANG IT I loved being tall and wearing high heels.)

    Comment by Lisa in SoCal — September 23, 2012 @ 11:39 am

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