Oh man, do I love quinceañeras. They are all-singing, all-dancing explosions of almost invariably bad taste and I can’t get enough. Sure there are Sweet Sixteen parties and the prom, but those are small party potatoes compared to the pure unadulterated garishness that can only be achieved when an entire extended family gets together to realize the most lurid tulle-filled fantasies harbored deep in the rhinestone and zebra print corners of a 15 year-old girl’s mind.
I have always been a big proponent of youthful excess. I wore tasteful, elegant evening gowns to all my teenage soirees and now I regret it. Why? Because now that’s all I can wear, at least without suffering some unwanted social repercussions.
It is with fondness –and full admission I might wear this for my quince-themed birthday party next year– that I present to you the latest object for Whisky Tango Foxtrot.
You all remember the rules, right? Give me a situation, the kookier the better, where this would be an appropriate outfit. To make things a bit more challenging, this time we’ll rule out references to quinceañeras, Cyndi Lauper and Gay Pride Parades.
Hit me with your best shot! Fire away-ay-ay.
Clearly, this is what you wear whilst singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow whilst suspended from the ceiling above an adoring crowd of pre-teen fans.
Comment by Jacquilynne — November 20, 2012 @ 11:02 am
Your audition for a role as Disney’s newest ‘princess’, Georgina, an aspiring drag queen who works nights at a formal fabrics factory to pay for a very expensive upcoming operation, and has crafted this lovingly from scraps that she salvaged.
Comment by Cassie — November 20, 2012 @ 11:05 am
If you are a good girl, the snow cone fairy will grant you three flavors.
Comment by Elaine C. — November 20, 2012 @ 11:15 am
Cosplaying My Little Pony’s Twilight Sparkle
Comment by Isabella — November 20, 2012 @ 11:16 am
I would wear this to Michael Kors’ birthday party, to give him the gift of being able to say “She looks like she’s pooping a rainbow,” in the most TV-unfriendly terms possible. It would also inspire him to be kinder to the Project Runway contestants because even with only a day, they tend to come up with something better than this.
Comment by Jen Anderson — November 20, 2012 @ 11:21 am
Ack! Isabella has already scored with My Little Pony, but my first thought is that this dress is what happened when Princess Celestia mindmelded with Twilight Sparkle and Rarity turned them into a dress for another Royal Wedding.
Comment by marvel — November 20, 2012 @ 11:29 am
This is clearly the maid of honor dress for the marriage of my little pony and rainbow brite
Comment by Klee — November 20, 2012 @ 11:29 am
Looking at the rainbow, the sparkles, the frills, the just over-the-big-top of it all, 3 words come to mind:
Lesbian. Clown. Wedding.
yessssssssssss!!!!
Comment by evilsciencechick — November 20, 2012 @ 11:46 am
I also thought of My Little Pony, but there’s a definite Grandmama’s antimacassar thing going on in the front as well with all the lace. My guess is that there are no legs on that model, only a bell clapper, and that it is meant to hang on an enormous Christmas tree.
Comment by KESW — November 20, 2012 @ 12:07 pm
Kristi squealed with delight as her birthday wish came true: her beautiful doll cake had come to life! Regret for the missed slice of rainbow-iced skirt (surely with chocolate cake below- her favorite) was fleeting. The Princess Cake Lady reached out for Kristi’s hand and smiled, “Let’s play dress-up.”
Comment by leeapeea — November 20, 2012 @ 12:11 pm
Thirding the MLP, although I pegged it as a cosplay of Princess Rainbow Dash.
…No, I have no idea if Rainbow Dash is ever a princess for an episode, but I don’t think that has to stand in the way of cosplay.
Comment by TeleriB — November 20, 2012 @ 12:16 pm
Costume from the bath-scrubby can-can ballet, from the off-off-off-off Broadway (Syracuse) production of “That episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show Where Laura’s Toe Gets Caught in a Bath Spout.”
Comment by Julie — November 20, 2012 @ 1:19 pm
When you’re hired to be the princess at a My Little Pony themed birthday party.
Comment by Carrie — November 20, 2012 @ 2:24 pm
Good for when you need versatility in your outfit – two dresses in one. Just turn that sucker around and you’ve got an entirely new (although not much improved) look.
Comment by Mallory — November 20, 2012 @ 2:39 pm
The perfect dress to audition to be the new “NBC Peacock”
Comment by katydid — November 20, 2012 @ 4:19 pm
Since my first thought was, “Dios mio!” I will strive to give you something more interesting, like, “Contrary to the photo, quinceanera does translate to ‘arc-en-ciel’ or ‘rainbow.”
No, I’m still stuck at ‘dios mio’.
Comment by Jelly — November 20, 2012 @ 4:44 pm
Is this what Rainbow Bright wore when she got married?
Comment by Karri — November 20, 2012 @ 5:47 pm
Dude. I would have totally worn that for my wedding. I love that rainbow crinoline!!
Comment by Laurie — November 20, 2012 @ 5:59 pm
Lacking dark green velvet drapes, a desperate Scarlett O’Hara turned to look at the shower curtains.
Comment by Nancy — November 20, 2012 @ 6:29 pm
You are a newly minted CIA agent and your first job is to infiltrate the Lisa Frank Liberation Front’s annual cotillion and liberate three political prisoners and a minifridge. There are tranquilizer darts concealed in your gloves and your tiara is a detonator. Good luck; you’ll need it.
Comment by daisyj — November 20, 2012 @ 7:40 pm
Surely this is THE dress to wear whilst riding a unicorn named Precious through the streets surrounding your castle after your return from the tower where your evil stepmother locked you up after an ominous prophecy foretold on the day of your birth cautioned her against “the one who farts rainbows”.
Comment by Chantal — November 20, 2012 @ 11:29 pm
This is clearly the dress to wear when one is being crowned Queen of the Bronies. Because friendship is magic my friend, and that dress looks like friendship threw up all over it.
Comment by Christine — November 21, 2012 @ 12:33 am
The lovely drag version of a grown up Rainbow Brite prepares for the gala!
Comment by RHCD — November 21, 2012 @ 1:17 am
As she grinned into the New York Times reporter’s camera lens, Anna reconsidered. “This is not what I had in mind when I said I would do anything for tickets to an Inaugural Ball.” She said to herself. “I should have said ‘I would do anything… except dress in the traditional gown of the Clown Wig Makers Lobby.'”
Comment by AnthroK8 — November 21, 2012 @ 1:42 am
(flips through dictionary)
Hey, does anybody know the word for a cotton candy fetish?
Comment by BJ — November 21, 2012 @ 11:18 am
I have nothing to contribute except @daisyj: That made me laugh out loud.
Comment by Mifty — November 21, 2012 @ 4:31 pm
So this what Tocan Sam’s mail order bride would look like…….I’ve always wondered……
Comment by jeanine — November 21, 2012 @ 5:03 pm
I’d wear it to Pottery Barn. It’s perfect. People are going to be so worried about your rainbow diarrhoea that they aren’t even going to notice that you’ve shoved half the store under your skirt.
Comment by Bush piglet — November 22, 2012 @ 11:35 am
All the votes for daisyj! I had completely forgotten about Lisa Frank – too perfect!
Comment by KESW — November 22, 2012 @ 11:53 am
Why do I keep thinking of toilet paper cover dolls?
Comment by dcsurfergirl — November 23, 2012 @ 2:21 am
AnthroK8 is a genius.
Comment by dani — November 23, 2012 @ 4:31 pm
Marilyn Manson’s off duty attire?
Comment by dani — November 23, 2012 @ 4:34 pm
In a moment of self doubt, the soon to be bride wondered if her fingerless gloves were just ” too much” for her outfit.
Comment by dani — November 23, 2012 @ 4:37 pm
Since someone else already took my Scarlett curtains reference, I’ll just say this: I want to know what the shoes look like that go with this dress.
Comment by Jen209 — November 23, 2012 @ 11:40 pm
lady lovely locks cosplay
Comment by michelle — November 24, 2012 @ 2:19 am
The Fairy Godmother Association regretfully removed Liberace from it’s substitute list…
Comment by Candace Jeffries — November 24, 2012 @ 3:21 am
This is not what Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle had in mind when they were persuaded to donate their manes “for the kids”.
Comment by moiraeknittoo — November 25, 2012 @ 1:40 am
“…and Miss California enters the stage in her wonderfully-ruffled ‘Tribute to Timothy Leary’ ensamble.”
Comment by Philip — November 27, 2012 @ 11:00 am
Hello All. I really like this dress. I would have stepped into my prom some years ago with this on, but the guy would have to be awesome as well. lol. But i would most likely wear it to an ex’s wedding/party/anything as to where he will see me in it. Also, my wedding dress for my 5th wedding maybe. or a family formal gathering.
Comment by tabitha-tabitha — November 29, 2012 @ 12:57 am
I hardly think that there is anyone who has the guts to step up they admit buying gold limited by WoW based forum most notably MMO-Champion. Hence I think there should be an anonymous poll. I on the other hand have never bought gold or items. I consider it a bit of cheating
Comment by diablo 3 gold — December 6, 2012 @ 11:53 am