Manolo for the Big Girl

Happy Fourth of July!

Red

White

Blue

Happy weekend!

xoxo, Francesca

Francesca is in the mood for a Meet-and-Greet, so she can talk with our wonderful readers in person, drink cocktails with fabulous women, and see (and show off) some wonderful clothes and shoes.

How about it, New Yorkers?

Francesca is thinking The View restaurant and bar at the top of the Marriott Marquis hotel in Times Square, a week from today: Monday, July 7. She will make reservations for drinks from 7:30-9:30, yes? Time enough after work to get to midtown and join us, time enough afterward to get home and get some beauty sleep.

Please let Francesca know in the comments if you will attend, so she will know how much space to reserve. xoxo!

Another chapter in the book of “Francesca catches up on her email correspondence”!

Dear Francesca,

I’m a regular reader, and really appreciate your fashion advice — I’m 5′2″ and a size 14, so it’s hard to find things that suit someone short and generously proportioned. I’ve learned a ton about where to look for superfabulous clothes from the site, and think you guys do a really lovely job of balancing sensible advice and entertaining insights. Kudos to you all!

I’m writing specifically because I am thinking of getting that lovely beaded dress you posted in the post about the semi-annual Nordstrom’s sale for a friend, but can’t find it on the Nordstrom’s site. Can you point me in the right direction? Also, what kind of shoes would you recommend wearing with it? The dress is so lovely the shoes should balance it out, but sometimes those of us on the fleshier side can’t wear the strappiest and most delicate of sandals. Any thoughts?

Thanks again and have a lovely weekend,

Leah M-O
San Diego, CA

Dear Leah,

Francesca is happy to oblige.

The Nordstrom dress is still available in mint green right here. Your friend is lucky indeed to receive such a gift!

As for shoes, indeed the strappy, summery sandals are best. But if you would like a more sturdy shoe, something with more coverage and a lower heel, Francesca would recommend black satin, to echo the ribbon belt, and a simple design so as to keep attention on the dress. Something like this:

Or perhaps this delicate pump by Paul Smith:

Happy shopping, and happy weekend!

xoxo, Francesca

Francesca continues in her quest to catch up on reader emails . . .

Hi Francesca,

I’ve been reading your blog (Manolo for the Big Girl) since it started, and I love seeing the plus-size clothes. I would love to actually buy some of these fabulous clothes, but I live in Australia and so many of the websites listed only ship to US addresses (HolyClothing.com is one of the few exceptions). I saw your post on the Woman Within sale and got all excited about buying something … then found they don’t ship to Australia.

Do you know of any other reasonably-priced online stores catering to plus-size pears from Australia?

Kind Regards,

Aussie Pear

This is one of many, many similar emails we have received from readers all over the world who are not lucky enough to live in the USA — and Francesca calls US residents “lucky” in this context because being a Big Girl and finding plus-size clothing outside of the United States is even more difficult than inside. Francesca knows.

So Francesca has compiled a list of almost 40 online vendors of large-size clothing, which ship to countries outside of the United States (as well as to US addresses)!

1. Alight
2. Always for Me - Ship to over 50 countries; check website for the list
3. B and Lu
4. Bigger Bras - ship to Canada, Western and Northern Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and Japan.
5. Bravissimo - based in London. Ship worldwide.
6. Catherine’s
7. Coldwater Creek
8. Dress By Design
9. Fashion Overdose
10. Fig Leaves - US site does not ship internationally, but the British site ships worldwide.
11. Frederick’s of Hollywood - ship to Canada
12. Holy Clothing - Free shipping on all orders worldwide.
13. Igigi - Ships to Canada, Australia, UK, and EU. Outside those areas, email the company to inquire whether they can ship to you.
14. Jahqoi
15. J.C. Penney - Ship to most countries. See website for details.
16. J. Crew - ships to Canada and Japan, and is in process of adding more countries.
17. J.Jill
18. Junonia
19. Kiyonna
20. Land’s End
21. Lane Bryant - Ship to Canada, but no other international orders
22. Make Your Own Jeans
23. Making It Big
24. Maximum Woman - based in Toronto, ships internationally around the world.
25. Missphit
26. Monif C.
27. Persephone Plus - Gothic clothing
28. Reality Plus Clothing
29. Saks Fifth Avenue - International shipping is limited to a few countries. Call 1-800-7257-7257 (from outside the US) to find out whether your country is one of them.
30. Silhouettes - one must contact the company to check for availability of international shipping to one’s area
31. Size Appeal
32. SWAK 
33. Sydney’s Closet - for $53 (!!!) will ship to Canada and “select other countries around the world.” See website for details.
34. Swimsuits for All
35. Swimsuits Just for Us - ship to Canada, UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand
36. Talbot’s
37. Women Suits - ship to most international destinations
38. Zaftique - For non-US/Canadian address, item must be in stock for order to be shipped.
39. Torrid

A few caveats:

1- Francesca does not claim this list to be exhaustive. Please feel free to add more in the comments!

2- Although all these sites ship internationally, one may not be able to order through the site as easily as an American resident. One may, for example, have to call or email ahead to find out how much shipping will cost to one’s own particular country, and express/rush shipping usually is not available.

3- Shipping rates to other countries vary widely from site to site, and never include customs taxes or import fees at the receiving end, which can be exhorbitant. Francesca highly recommends having items shipped to an American friend whenever possible, and having the friend ship the clothing to you in open packages, so that they are “used.” Remember also that return shipping will take longer and add to your costs.

4- Almost every site located in the US will ship to the US and to all its territories. However, if you live in Alaska, Hawaii, a US holding/territory, or have an APO/FPO or Rural Route address, then check the shipping policies carefully, as they differ widely; but, probably, Francesca did not have to tell you this!

5- When in doubt about shipping policies, check on the websites under “Ordering and Returns,” “Shipping,” or “Customer Service” for details. Information about international possibilities may be buried deep within the site, but they are there.

Also, a special note to our reader, Aussie Pear: Check out mysize.com.au and bodywise.com.au!

To our readers in the UK: Beige Plus and Simply Be are both located in the UK and will ship within it.

Happy shopping!

xoxo,

Francesca

Live Alone and Like It: The Classic Guide for the Single Woman. Written in 1936 by a former Vogue editor. The book is short, funny, and still 100% true in its philosophy, if not in the details. A wonderful gift for the single girl!

At the recommendation of a friend, Francesca recently went for a professional bra fitting at Intimacy, a wonderful bra boutique with locations in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Houston, Miami, and New York. It was a wonderful experience which resulted in a wonderful purchase. The woman helping Francesca did not use a measuring tape. She looked her over, did a little patting and looking and weighing hear and there, and came back with several bras for her to try on. She showed Francesca how to recognize a good fit from a bad, so that Francesca could shop elsewhere and find what she needs on her own, which was good because the cup sizes at Intimacy run a little small, so while there Francesca needed a 42D, elsewhere, it turns out, she is a 42C. Anyhow, it was a fine experience and Francesca recommends them. The only problem was that they only had one 42D in stock — not because they do not carry large sizes, but because so many 42D women shop there, that they were sold out. It was alright, though. That is why God created Cacique sales at Lane Bryant.

All this is an introduction to Francesca’s next tale, which has a less happy ending. While visiting one of the aforementioned cities, she decided to stop by the shop of a plus-size clothing designer of whom she had heard, and whom Francesca wanted to vett, while she had a chance to do so in person, before discussing the clothes on this website.

The clothes at this little boutique looked beautiful on the rack. The materials were luscious and the colors were amazing. Everything was presented in a tasteful and eye-pleasing manner. They were off to a good start.

But all of the designs had empire waists. Every. Single. One. And though some Apple-shaped women can get away with empire waists, Francesca is not one.  They also were all sleeveless, and Francesca does not “do” sleeveless, though she appreciates it on others. Still, for several reasons she decided to try on a few styles. Since many of our readers are Pears or have hourglass figures, and wear sleeveless dresses, I wanted a chance alone with the clothes in the fitting room, to see if the clothes were well-made (they were not). And, also, I was there anyway, and one never knows! One must be adventurous! And even with sleeveless dresses, one can work wonders with a shrug! So Francesca took about 4-5 dresses into the fitting room, and wore them out into the store where the mirror was.

Francesca understands that salespeople need to make sales. She understands when they say something like “if you wear Spanx, this will look fantastic” — which the saleswoman here said — because not everyone shares Francesca’s opinion that “if an outfit needs Spanx to look good, it is not a good outfit for you.” It’s OK. She gets it.

But it is another thing entirely for Francesca to stand in the middle of the boutique floor, looking like a stuffed sausage whose elephantine pregnancy is emphasized by a turniquet below her breasts –not that there is anything wrong with that, she supposes — and for the saleswoman to say “I think it looks wonderful. It looks much better than you believe it does. It looks terrific.”

Francesca looked the woman right in the eye and said “it is a beautiful dress for someone else.”

It is also something else for the saleswoman to say “the problem is your bra. You do not have enough support. If you buy a better bra, this dress will look amazing on you,” when Francesca was wearing a snug, brand-new, professionally-fitted bra which was probably the best fit she’d ever had, and if her breasts had been any better “supported,” they would have been up over her head. And when the rest of the dress was making Francesca look like she had a set of triplets stuffed into her (new lace) underwear.

Bah.

Francesca will not speak of this particular establishment again.

Meanwhile, remember, ladies: The last word on whether you look good in a dress is your own.

And shop at Intimacy. Francesca approves of them.

Francesca is in the Heathrow International Airport in London, drinking a $7.00 coffee at Starbucks and catching up on her email. As always, she thinks of the dear Manolo readers no matter how far or how long she roams. Here is a letter from “Francie,” which is, perhaps, short for Francesca???

With the humid, hot weather, I dread wearing shirts. I’m top heavy, apple shaped, about a 20 on top and a 16 on bottom. I’m 45 and just don’t feel comfortable in sleeveless tops anymore. What do I wear to survive the 95 degree days. Isn’t anyone else HOT?!

Thanks!

Francie

This is a very good question indeed, and yes, Francesca, too, is very hot.

Francesca assumes that you are looking for tops that are a little more dressy than t-shirts, perhaps something suitable for work, or you would not have needed to ask. Francesca also guesses that you do not work as a cog in a super-corporate environment, or you also, in that case, would not have needed to ask, and anyhow sleeveless would not even be an option.

Therefore, Francesca recommends the shaped, slightly and subtly adorned, cotton shirts for the summer, with the ¾ sleeves which is often flattering on the top-heavy Apples (of which Francesca is proud to be one!), and which provide a nice compromise between formality and modesty on one hand, and the brutal summer heat on the other. A second choice to cotton would be linen, which is cool but wrinkles oh-so-easily!

If you cannot find shaped cotton shirts (and in the case of the Apple, “shaped” means “with princess seaming or other structural details which create a waist”), then please, do not buy t-shirts that scream “I bought this at a rock concert” or “I got this for free at some college event eight years ago” or “this is left over from my summer job as a pool guard when I was 16.” Those are shirts for sleeping, or workouts.

No, no, please wear cotton shirts that say “I was bought in a store, chosen purposefully and carefully by my owner because I am flattering to her.” And then add a pretty beaded necklace in a complementary color and some killer earrings, and you are good to go.

Polo shirts can also work well, if one’s office is casual enough. Francesca is imagining a polo shirt in a bright summer color such as rasberry or turquoise, and a headband or comb in a matching color, with slightly-dangling sparkly earrings, and a simple gold or silver bracelet . . .

. . . paired, of course, with well-fitting dress pants or jeans, or a straight skirt. Because a loose shirt paired with loose pants or a flary skirt would create a baggy outfit, and we do not want that!

Here is a wonderful cotton blouse by Charter Club, available on sale at Macy’s up to size 20 W (though it appears a bit too big for the model; Francesca would recommend “taking it in” on the sides):

More cotton shirts to come as the summer progresses!

xoxo,

Francesca

Dear Francesca,

I’m getting married and need to find a wedding dress. I am a 22 on top, 24 on the bottom in regular off-the-rack clothes, which I assume means I could potentially be anything from a 26 to a 32 in bridal sizes. I’m really not looking to spend much more than $600. I am 5′8″ and pear shaped.

The one dress I’ve really liked so far is this one from Kiyonna:

 

but my mom says the pattern of the lace is embiggening and the back is not interesting enough (she has a point there).

Just looking at dresses is freaking me out–everything looks so generic, plus I don’t think any of it will fit! Also, I’m nervous the ladies at bridal boutiques will be mean to me because I’m not a sample size. If you have ANY guidance at all I’d take it–where to look, how to make the experience less scary. Even if it’s just, “Chill out, even in an ugly dress all brides are beautiful.” :-)

Thank you,

Allison

Dearest Allison,

Before going on to the dresses, Francesca first wishes to say:

Chill out! Even in an ugly dress all brides are beautiful.

The most important thing is that you are beautiful to yourself. And the second most important thing is that you are beautiful to your groom. Presumably, he finds you quite attractive, since he wishes to share bathroom counter space with you for the rest of his life.

So you see, you are doing fine.

Second, do not worry about the ladies at the boutiques. If they are at all experienced, they will know from looking at you whether they have something in your size. If they do not, then they will say “We’re sorry, we don’t carry plus-sizes; we wish we could help you.” If they do not have anything in your size, it is still in their best interest to be polite to everyone who walks through their door. And if they do have anything in your size, it especially behooves them to be polite. It does not hurt to ask. Them saying “we’re sorry, we can’t help you” is not the same as being mean, and if many, many plus-size brides are forced to walk away from the store empty-handed, perhaps they will consider catering to the plus-size market. Because, you know, Big Girls are attractive to men and do get married. 

(If any sales person should be mean to you, whether you are a bride or not, definitely write a letter of complaint to the manager! You are a person and your voice must be heard!)

Anyhow. To the dresses. Francesca must be honest, she almost despaired of finding a dress similar to the Kiyonna model you provided. You seem to have a penchant for lace and vintage styles, and unless one wishes to have a renaissance-inspired dress custom-made, it is difficult to find the vintage styles in plus-sizes.

But Allison is in luck, because while researching one of the two previous questions, she found these two beautiful dresses at Plus Size Bridal, which also meet your budget requirement!

Style 1755, available with long sleeves,

or (Francesca’s preference) short sleeves,

(and both look gorgeous from the back as well as the front).

If you can spend a little bit more than $600, you might also like Style #7409, which is adorned with crystals, beads and sequins both in front and back:

Francesca says: It is not difficult to find vendors of plus-size wedding dresses on the internet. Just use Google wisely, and always check return policies before ordering. Also, remember that quality may vary. This may matter to you, if you are spending much money. Or may not matter to you at all, if you see this as a dress you will wear only once. But be conscious of your choices, that is what Francesca says!

If you are ordering from Kiyonna Bridal (dress above, or a shorter version for $288) or Torrid Bridal (dresses for $140-220) please click through from the ads which appear on our site, on the right, for some savings.

Happy, happy wedding and marriage!

xoxo

Our internet friend Rubi writes:

Dear Francesca,

Much to my surprise, it is likely that I’ll be getting married in the not too distant future — and I’m wondering what to wear! It’s likely to be a daytime wedding, at a courthouse, with a small reception at a restaurant or friend’s house afterwards. I’m an hourglass, in my mid-forties, and not given to froufrou in my attire. My best features are my bosom and small waist — I’m not as keen on my big bottom or heavy legs. But I want something that is more than just a vanilla suit!

I am imagining myself in a tea-length dress, or slightly shorter. As for color, I would not be adverse to cream, but I am blonde and rosy of complexion, so a non-wimpy pastel would also be a good choice.

I should also add that I love hats, and wear them well. I have been also considering building an outfit around a hat…

I await with interest your good counsel.

Aha! A bride who loves hats!

Francesca has been waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to write in saying that she has a need for a spectacular hat and a matching outfit, because she frankly adores the hats and the matching suits at WomenSuits.com, but as you will see they are simply too FANTASTICAL to recommend for just any old event. But the wedding! The intimate affair of the confident woman in her mid-40’s and the wonderful man who wishes to share his life with her! The small celebration of the family and friends! The chance to wear the SPECTACULAR HAT!

Francesca is also very pleased to see that Rubi is not “married” (ha!) to the idea of wearing bridal white. The tradition of brides wearing white is relatively new, and quite unnecessary, especially when one has a pretty complexion which would be beautifully shown off by an equally pretty color.

Here is an outfit which may please the Rubi if she interested in indulging in a little wee bit of “froufrou,” in a color which looks fetching on blondes:

Francesca acknowledges that how this outfit will go over depends greatly on one’s style, and greatly on the region and culture in which one lives.

If that is too “froufrou” for the intimate affair, or if Rubi wants a somewhat shorter hem or more generously cut skirt, she might consider this plain-but-pretty dress in a similar color, from Igigi, which would do much to show off Rubi’s lovely bosom and hourglass figure. Style your hair in an up-do, put on the pretty jewelry and grab the flower bouquet, and you will be a beautiful bride!

(PS There is also a tea-length bridal dress at Kiyonna you might like, though it is white, not cream. More about Kiyonna Bridal in the next post!)

Please write to us after the wedding and tell us how it went! Francesca is so happy for you!

xoxo

Francesca has received not one, not two, but three cries for help from brides-to-be! There must be something in the air! Francesca knows what it is, too: love, and the scarcity of plus-size wedding gowns in traditional bridal boutiques. But she comes to the rescue! Here is the first of the letters, from an internet friend in Phoenix, Arizona:

Dear Francesca,

I recently got engaged and have an issue I am hoping you can help with. We are planning a wedding for Summer ‘09 and I started looking at gowns. We are on a budget, and I am trying to spend less than $500. At the same time, I really want to feel like a princess and am drawn to ball gown style dresses- my price and ball gown style do not seem exactly compatible.

However, my question is this. There are some great on-line retailers out there, but I found all my flattering and super-fantastic clothes through trying them on. A lot of the on-line retailers do not allow returns. How do I find a super-fantastic wedding gown in my budget when there are so few opportunities for a woman of size to try them on? I know a few things to avoid from my everyday clothes- like halters do not work for me- but I really feel like it is hard to make such an expensive commitment without knowing for sure.

My measurements are 46-40-48, I’m 5′6″ with a small bust, large back and shoulders - but I’m not afraid of sleeveless.

Thank you!

Dear Internet Friend in Sunny Phoenix,

Francesca’s heartiest congratulations on your engagement!

Indeed, the inability to return items is a big problem when it comes to pricier items such as satin-and-lace wedding dresses. It is Francesca’s only bone to pick with Sydney’s Closet, who otherwise have so many beautiful gowns for the big day!

It is for this reason that God created Plus Size Bridal, and other vendors who do allow returns on wedding gowns –though usually with restrictions. It means that one can try different sizes and styles with little financial risk, as long as one is careful to return unused dresses within the return period and to follow all the instructions carefully.

Here are two princess-making, ball gown-style, halterless dreses for under $500, available in your size (in this case, a 20W) at Plus Size Bridal:

Style #1783W, with the pretty band which will “feminize” the bust area and may help balance the shoulders - one must try it on to find out! The detailing is available in different colors, including “same color as the dress.” (See also style #1516W, which, at $505, is only a smidgen past your budget.)

Style #1963, with the pick-up skirt which is so in style right now:

More wedding questions and dresses to come tomorrow!

xoxo!