When Mr. Twistie and I eat out, we have a few tried and true places we tend to go to. These are places that have good food at reasonable prices, and where we feel taken care of. In fact, the place where we breakfast every saturday morning is just two blocks from our home and everyone there knows our names, as well as what we’re going to drink with our meals (latte for me, iced tea for him). For the past two years I’ve even baked the proprietor’s birthday cake. She adores lemon pound cake.

So when we’re eating out, we usually are in very safe waters where we know what to expect.

For one reason and another, though, we’ve found ourselves going out to some less familiar places of late. Some have been fabulous. There was the little Brazilian place where the owner greeted us like family and the seafood risotto was a dream. Some have been… less fabulous, but at least not a horrible experience. And let’s face it, not every restaurant can blow me away with the food they produce.

Then there’s the phenomenon I’ve run across several times in the past few months that really gets under my skin.

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How do all you out there in Big Girl Land! I hope your week was fun.

Anyway.

Last sunday, I thrust this deathless image under your very noses and instructed you to inhale deeply without question:

Three of you came back swinging with captions for it.

They were all good. They were all funny. But in the end there can be only one winner. This week the winner is the inimitable Rusty for this paean to good attitudes in bad times:

Rainbow Brite and the Color Kids aren’t letting the recession bring them down…

Congratulations, Rusty! And thanks to everyone who played.

Top ‘o the morning to you all! It’s time once again to play Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness.

You all know how this works. I find a deathless (or possibly undead) image that’s praying to every saint going for a witty caption or seventeen. You provide said captions via the comments function. Next saturday, I declare a winner who stands us all to green beer, or, you know, takes an internet bow of triumph.

Anyway.

This week’s image comes to you from the Gotta Dance file and looks something like this:

Ready… set… snark!

There are a lot of Great Classic Films I adore. Mention Casablanca, and I’m going to sigh joyfully and start quoting. Talk about Citizen Kane, and I shiver at the deathless images that pop straight into my brain. There are other Great Classic Films that do and will always make me happy.

But then there’s Gone With the Wind.

I know there are people who would willingly trample their grandmothers to see this film again, and more power to them. One of the most interesting Cultural Experiences of my life was going with Mr. Twistie (who is a huge fan) to see the 50th anniversary re-release at the Castro theater in San Francisco. I know Hattie McDaniel had all the same lines she ever did, but I didn’t hear one of them through the cheers, and the anticipatory screams for ‘Frankly my dear, etc.’ began about twenty minutes before the line was spoken.

It’s clear that a lot of people are passionate fans of this film. Me? I’m not one of them. I don’t find the story line terribly compelling, I can’t work up much nostalgia for the Antebellum South, and I don’t really care about any of the characters. No, scratch that last one. What happens is I see them and my slapping hand starts itching up a storm.

Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but this is a film I decided years ago to give a miss to at every possible opportunity.

The other Great Classic Film I will never sit through again?

That’s right, The Wizard of Oz.

I was pretty meh on this one even as a very small child. And then my parents gave me the book. After that, I was really done with the movie. There’s so much more in the book, and I read what L. Frank Baum said about what he’d hoped to achieve with his book. What he wanted was a real American fairy tale where the child had amazing adventures and it didn’t turn out to be all just a kooky dream.

For me, Oz is so much better when it’s real, when Dorothy goes back again and again and has further adventures that are equally real. I prefer the winged monkeys when they’re controlled by a magical golden cap. I prefer silver slippers. I like the balance of two good witches (North and South – which is where Glinda comes from), and two evil ones (East and West).

In my book, Judy Garland just isn’t compelling enough to make me like Oz as a coma fantasy.

My guess is that everyone has at least one Great Classic Film you couldn’t pay them to sit through again. One of my very best friends practically froths at the mouth at the mention of Citizen Kane, which, as I said before, is a great favorite of mine. My father couldn’t watch The African Queen (another great favorite of mine) because he said the boat couldn’t possibly work the way they had it set up. I believe him, too. He knew his boats. And you can see what I think of two of the most sacred cows of American cinema.

So what’s the Great Classic Film you intend to avoid for the rest of your life?

I love movies. I love some true masterpieces, some of questionable taste, some for their quaint awfulness. One of my favorite things is finding some jewel of an obscure film that’s all the more precious because nobody else on the face of the planet seems to know it exists.

But never let it be said that I’m stingy when it comes to sharing the cultural wealth! Today, I’m sharing with you all a smattering of the obscure, the offbeat, and the nearly unknown films that make me smile.

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Aaaaaannnnd we’re back!

Sorry about yesterday. A combination of technical difficulties and a sporadic attempt at having a life that temporarily ignores computer screens resulted in no Twistie here yesterday. But I’m back, really and truly, and to stay… except that I won’t be back writing here until next weekend.

Anyway.

Last week I lobbed this deathless image of a new life at you all:

… and eight of you pulled out your infant psychology textbooks and entered the uncharted depths of that poor little sucker’s brain.

Some of you played on my known weaknesses, referencing Tim Gunn (call me, Tim!).  Some of you clearly recognized this as our dear Plummy’s First Family Photo and reacted appropriately. You all made me laugh.

In the end, though, there can be but one winner. This week it’s the scandalously scintillating Gryph for this primal cry of the recently ejected:

PUT ME BACK IN! PUT ME BACK IN!

Congratulations, Gryph! And thanks to everyone who played.

Hey everybody!

It’s time once again to play Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness. You all know how this works. I post a picture that’s begging on a street corner for a funny caption. You provide said captions via the comments function. Next week I declare a winner, and we all do a triumphant cha cha of victory in her honor.

This week’s image comes from the family album from from Purgatory file, and it looks a little like this:

Ready… set… snark!