Mmm, Francesca loves a good sale at Nordstrom.
She cannot wait to wear this gorgeous single-button jacket, which is marked down 70%, from $432 to $129!
And a trench coat which Francesca has previously recommended is marked down 40%, from $188 to $110.
Happy shopping!
xoxo,
Francesca
Oh, my goodness! Can you believe this blog has been going for 9 months? It feels like yesterday that Plumcake and I dove into the wonderful, wide world of plus-size clothing here at the Manolo network. And what a superfantastic trip it has been!
This means that it has been 9 months since Francesca reminded you to consider carefully whether it is time for you to replace your bras. Much can happen in 9 months! If a baby can gestate in 9 months, that is plenty of time for your bras to stretch out, sag, and gap. It is enough time for you to gain or lose a few pounds and now need a new size.
So, start shopping!
If you are racktastic and need a hard-to-find bra size, Francesca recommends that you start with BiggerBras.com and Bravissimo.
Of course there is also the Cacique line at Lane Bryant, the ONEsexy bra collection at Avenue, and the full-figure department at Frederick’s of Hollywood! Mmmm!
And now — hat tip to our internet friend Carol for bringing this to our attention — Big Singer Jill Scott has created a bra brand of her own in partnership with Ashley Stewart. The “Butterfly Bra” not only has wide, gel-filled shoulder straps but also two support bands in the back and — Francesca’s favorite feature — underwires filled with gel. No more underwires cutting into the delicate flesh of the Big Girl! Hallelujah!
Take care of those girls!
xoxo
Our internet friend Shannon turned our attention to a delightful fashion-related article in an online publication called “The Smart Set.” Writer Jessa Crispin reviews various books about fashion . . . .
Instead of alleviating our body fears, however, so many books advising what to wear do nothing but exaggerate them. The entire structure of Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine’s book What Not to Wear is built to help you define your particular version of body dysmorphic disorder. Do you think you have short legs? A big butt? Big arms? There’s a chapter telling you how to dress around each perceived flaw. It’s hard to walk out the door feeling hot and feisty when your entire dressing process has been focused on your main source of anxiety. If I tried to dress to hide all the parts of my body I have ever been self-conscious about, the only thing left to wear would be a hazmat suit.
. . . . and ultimately recommends The Meaning of Sunglasses: And a Guide to Almost All Things Fashionable by Hadley Freeman.
If more fashion writing was done in the tone of smartypants Freeman, we could avoid the fear that caring about our appearance makes us a vain fool or a victim. A work colleague recently took one look at the four-inch peep toe heels I was wearing and snarled, “Don’t you know why men invented high heels?” I doubted anything I said would deflect what was coming next, so I just shrugged. “So you can’t run away when they want to rape you.” I understand. I used to be a humorless feminist, too, complete with shaved head and my father’s combat boots. Then I discovered Charles David heels and got over it. If only The Meaning of Sunglasses had existed sooner, I could have spent less time being a self-righteous twit.
Francesca says: It is possible to be intellectual and feminist and fashion-conscious!
Excellent discussion at Shapely Prose going on, about what to wear to a job interview when one has a poochie-tummy such that one looks several months pregnant.
Francesca does not look pregnant, she just looks fat, but as an Apple-shape she appreciates that sometimes even the Spanx will not do it.
For those for whom Spanx is enough, or at least helpful, here is Francesca’s post with information about where to buy Spanx for the interview for the Good Job.
But anyway, as Francesca says, sometimes one must Give It Up and understand that no matter how strong the “slimming undergarments” are, we are not truly succeeding in hiding our love handles and the poochie tummy. They are there. We know they are there, and so does everyone else. There is no point in kidding anyone, because we cannot. And why should we? The love handles are called love handles for a reason. Being soft and squishie is very, very sexy.
There is only one thing to do: Stand up straight, be confident in one’s beauty and specialness, and –if being not pregnant is important to you — take up an extreme sport so that you can say, in all truthfulness, “on Saturdays I go bungee jumping, and on Sundays I parachute.”
Of course, you could lie and say those things even if in actuality you spend your weekends at the sci-fi/fantasy conventions (and who wouldn’t rather do that?), but then you run the risk of your potential boss saying “really? I’m a parachuter also . . . but I never see you at the club.” That would be bad.
Francesca says: Do your best to look the way you would like to look for your job interview, and leave the rest to the goodness of the cosmos.
Do you remember those wonderful “Fat Rant” videos by actress extraordinaire Joy Nash?
Well, if you are not reading her blog, you are missing out on something wonderful! Our friend Joy has partnered (so to speak) with the Michael Mullen to create a superfantastic series of sketch shows called “Fruit and Fly.” Guess who is the Fruit and who is the Fly?
Here is Francesca’s favorite episode. Put away the coffee before watching.
Happy watching!
xoxo
Francesca has returned to her New York apartment from London, and what a wonderful time she had!
The meet-and-greet was a success! Two other Big Girls came, and a wonderful Skinny Girl; it turns out that all four of us were tourists. Shout out to Evelyn, Sarah, and Katrine! You are superfantastic!
And now, in honor of my London trip, I would like to recommend these beautiful Burberry umbrellas, or “brollies” as they are known in a place like London, where one has such a close relationship with one’s umbrella that one gives it a nickname:
Well y’all it’s Friday and I think we could all use a little inspiration. Inspiration, like a tick or your grandmother’s giant anchor tattoo, is often found in the strangest places. Beloved reader Amazon Angelle commented on my last entry about by asking:
Is it at all sad that I looked past the dress and am currently trying to come with a cocktail that I shall dub “Frog Water?”
It may be the first time I’ve ever said this with any tenderness but: Honey, No. In fact, I’m surprised it’s taken us this long to come up with a Manolo for the Big Girl cocktail in the first place! I feel like I’ve failed you. But now I want to know, what would go in a Frog Water Cocktail?
Might I suggest filling a glass with dry champagne, dribbling in a just a hint of Benoit Serres Liqueur de Violette and finish off by dropping a sugar cube that has been soaked in Green Chartreuse in the glass right before serving. The violet liqueur, aside from being delicious in champagne, plays into the joke that “frog water” used to be slang for perfume. The Green Chartreuse-soaked sugar cube could represent the little frog and has the added benefit of –like champagne and Liqueur de Violette also being from France.
Setting the poor little sugar amphibian on fire before submerging is also an option, if you particularly like your grenouilles en flambé.
Francesca is heading for a vacation in England, and is thinking that a meet-n’-greet over cocktails with our British readers would be superfantastic!
So, how about it, ladies? Shout if you live in London and would be available to meet with Francesca on March 25 or 26! More detailed time, date and place TBA. (In fact, Francesca will gladly take recommendations for a nice, sophisticated cocktail bar in London, preferably within easy distance of Russell Square, where she will be staying.)
xoxo!
Our internet friend Marnie asks a Very Good Question:
It seems like every single big-girl catalog pic I see, the models have long full wavy tresses. Am I, like, forbidden to have a bob? Do I need to spend my time worrying about pig face? Can we talk about flattering hairstyles for the full of face and appled of cheek? Because honestly, I really don’t feel like spending a year growing out my locks, or dropping major $$$ on some horrible America’s Next Top Model-esque extensions.
Dear Marnie,
The first rule of looking good is feeling good. Nothing, nothing is ever “forbidden,” and you should wear your hair however it looks and feels good for you, yourself.
Why do the plus-size models tend to have long hair?
First, Francesca submits that most models in general have long hair. Some have short hair, but, seriously, most grow their hair because they have great hair. Great hair, great skin, great teeth . . . that is why they are models. And because they are models, they make the time and financial investment to keep their hair primped and pampered and coiffed just so every day, no matter how long it is, and to have a professional stylist make their hair look incredible before they have their photos taken. Because they are models. If we base our ideas of what looks good from the models, well then, we’d want to be thin, too, you know? Forget about what looks good on the models, even the plus-size models. Let us talk about us, the people who live lives that involve blowing the hair dry in the two minutes between gulping down a glass of Sunny Delight for breakfast and getting the kids into the car at 7:35 a.m.
Indeed for many (but not all) of the larger women, cutting the hair very short CAN (but does not NECESSARILY) emphasize the roundness of face, or the double chin, or could make the head appear proportionately smaller in relation to the bigger body. Many women grow their hair bigger on top to balance out the amazonian proportions down below.
But again, so much depends on you, your body, your hair, and of course your style and your way of life. Do you have thin, curly hair which becomes limper and less curly the longer it gets? Then perhaps a chin-length style which maximizes the volume and curls is best for you. Have your friends been giving you hints that your “big hair” went out of style in the 80’s, and just makes you look “big” all around, and besides you work as a litigator and maybe a shorter, sleeker style would be more professional? Then it is time for a haircut.
Francesca’s hair advice for the big girl is this: Take stock of your hairstyle every few years to make sure it is still working for you; color it at home or professionally if you are not absolutely thrilled with the color; beware of using too much bleach, too much henna, or too much “product”; use low necklines to elongate your face and shoulders if your hair cannot do it for you; and do whatever you can within the limits of your time, budget, and hair realities to make your hair look superfantastic every day. Do not skimp on the cut or forego the blow-drying in the morning if that is what you need to do to look your best. Remember, being fat and superfantastic can be hard, expensive work. Absolutely do the very best you can with what you’ve got!
After that, do not spend any time at all “worrying about pig face” or anything else. You’ve got living to do.
xoxo,
Francesca
PS Here are plus-size models with short or medium-length hair (and links to their clothes):
Francesca’s last couple of posts, and the comments to them, leave her with an important question: For purposes of this blog, just how big constitutes big?
In recommending plus-size fashions, Francesca’s rule of thumb is that an item of clothing is fair game if it is available in a Size 16 and/or higher. Size 14 is often available in “regular” stores, albeit not as often as size 12, while Size 16 is usually the smallest size available in the plus-size stores. Francesca knows that one could write an entire blog on the travails of the girls who wear size 14, which is often considered too big for the regular stores and too small for the plus-size stores. But she has to make a mental border for herself somewhere. So, for this blog, size 16 is usually it. That is why she sometimes recommends clothing by J. Crew, who are not exactly known for catering to fat girls, because they do have an entire Size 16 section on their site (as well as fashions for the Tall girls, to whom Francesca sometimes wishes to nod and wink), though their failure to offer sizes 18 and up makes Francesca feel a bit squeamish about referring to them too often.
Then we come to the selections for the posts on “Big Girls in Art.” Several readers said that they do not believe that the woman (apparently Salome) in this painting is actually big:
Oh, oh, oh, now we have come straight into the hornet’s nest! For, though this woman probably does wear a Size 16 or 18 on the bottom (she is a beautiful and voluptuous Pear, and very aesthetically pleasing, and probably has a hard time finding skirts and pants which fit her hips but are not too wide at the waist) Francesca fears, some readers may have looked at this image and thought “if that girl is big, what am I?” They may also have thought “Why is Francesca buying into the Big Bad Media idea that a woman with any fat on her is Big?”
Francesca will answer the second question first. In an ideal world, the Big Bad Media would not categorize people by their size at all. But the whole point of this blog is that our world is not ideal, and women’s whose hips or tummies or breasts are more than an arbitrary size are considered “Big” either in terms of where they can find clothes, or whether they are considered “too big” or “too fat” by others, or both.
The point of Big Girls in Art is to show that indeed that mysterious fault line (and Francesca chooses that term on purpose) is indeed arbitrary. There was a time when the woman with very generous hips was considered the ideal, and was celebrated in what was then The Media. There was a time when having a large butt was so attractive that women wore bustles to make theirs reach out to Indiana. In other words, Francesca wants to demonstrate that the problem is not us, it is this strange, arbitrary idea that thinner is better - an idea started, Francesca thinks, partly because thin women serve as better hangers on which to model the fashions on runways, and partly because having the time and money to maintain a perfectly flat belly indicates wealth in our age. The problem is not us or our genes or our class, it is the time. Not so long ago, the woman whose genes made her predisposed to the waif-like frame was the one with the problem.
And in answer to the first question . . . if the woman in this painting is big, do you know what you are?
Beautiful.
