I don’t know much in this world. I know that gin and tonics prevent malaria, I know that if it doesn’t last longer than a Ramones song you don’t have to add him to your How Many Have You list and I know that –as I’ve said before– life is too short for small jewelry.

This past weekend Twistie was talking about rings the size of snails and that got me thinking about doing another rings post since the last one was so popular.

I wrote a while ago that people think costume jewelry is inherently Less Than fine jewelery (i.e., jewelry made exclusively with precious or semi-precious materials) but it ain’t necessarily so. First of all most of the fine jewelry you can get at malls is so treated and ballsed up that it doesn’t deserve the name, much less the price tag. Secondly, better costume jewelry holds its value as well as if not better than run-of-the-mill fine jewelry in the collectors’ market.

Unfortunately, Miss Plumcake has large hands and most decent costume rings in the shops only come in one size and that one size is not Plumcake-sized at all. Enter HSN.com. HSN knows a good thing when it sees it and quickly figured out that one size does not fit all, and so offers most of its amazing rings up to a size 10 or even 12.

So, let’s take a look at a few sparklies that have been catching my eye, shall we? I believe they’re all under $100 with many well under  $50.  Bonus!

Of course if you’re going to wear a ring the size of a snail, it might as well be the shape of a snail, no?
Click on the image for links.

I luh-uve the first because it’s totally something I would wear, particularly as I love amber and citrine colors on rings and –fun fact– snails are totally my totem animal. The second one isn’t quite my style but I wanted to toss something in for the silver lovers among you.

Of course you can’t talk about costume jewelry without bringing up the Fake It ’til You Make It trope. Eh, I don’t really have a burning desire to buy or have bought for me one of those cute little clover-shaped Van Cleef and Arpels rings, but this amethyst-colored jobber gives the same feel for a lot less dosh, plus it’s different enough not to feel like a knock-off.

See also the Cartier leopard. Cartier has been making gorgeous jewel-and-enamel leopards for probably close to a century now and they are iconic. So too are the Kenneth Jay Lane leopards that followed them. While The vintage Kenneth Jay Lane ones fetch a pretty penny this ring by Adrienne is a quite nice homage to Joaillier des Rois, Roi des Joailliers without the royal price.

SPEAKING of enamel, I love the stuff. It’s such an elegant look and people hardly wear it anymore, which is a shame. I particularly like enamel “figurals” like these floral rings (the green one is my favorite ring of this batch, click to see more)
(more…)

Okay, so we all know and love We Love Colors for our colored tights needs because they have awesome plus-size tights that actually are plus-size. Their EE fits women that are 5’5″ – 6’0″ and 320 – 375 lbs. BUT a girl cannot live in pumpkin-colored tights alone, which is why I am So. Freakin. PSYCHED about the Avenue releasing a whole slew of patterned tights at an incredible price point for the quality.

Patterned tights are a great way to transition from daywear to datewear (yeah, I hate myself for saying that, but it’s true) and add just enough downtown cool so you look put together and polished, but not stuffy or like you should be behind the counter at Macy’s telling me about my gift with any $25 Estee Lauder purchase.

And I’ve gotta tell you, I’m also kind of psyched because it’ll let me get away without buying a ton of new dresses.

As you know, Miss Plumcake keeps a very tight rein on her wardrobe, but I’ve got several pieces that have seen their seven years of service and are being set out to pasture this fall, making my wardrobe that much smaller.

A fab pair of patterned tights is an excellent way to dress up a relatively conservative dress and create a new look from a capsule wardrobe. Since the visual focus will be on the tights, not the dress, if you find yourself traveling and only being able to take one or two dresses with you, this can save you a world of heartache by creating new looks with a minimum of pieces (also try to find a dress you can wear back-to-front).

Plus, and I’m just putting this out here. I got short legs.

Yep, although I’m tall like giant, I don’t suffer from an overelongation of pins and these vertical stripes? Make my legs go on for MILES (or kilometers, depending on where you’re reading this and where my legs happen to be at the time).

(how cute would these be on a dress that’s just a teensy bit too short to rock  without legwear, so the lace peeks out a bit?)

Remember, when wearing patterned tights, ideally you want to go for a closed-toe shoe unless you KNOW you know what you’re doing.

Hello my little lobsters thermidor, how’s every little thing? It’s time for your weekly humpletter, full of Plumcake-approved objets and whatnots for your glammy life.

TODAY  ONLY save 50% off your highest priced item at Jessica London using code JLE4559, if you miss today never fear. Use code JLE4994 to take a still very respectable 40% off until June 20th. Combine it with their already pretty swingin’ summer sale and you’ve got some major bargains happening.

I’m digging the following pieces in a big way:

I bemoan the fact I don’t wear blazers well because I am all. over. this striped jacket.  Originally $80, it’s yours for $25.

The bead detail along the underbust and the sari-influenced pattern and pleating of this maxi dress in airy georgette is just special enough so you can wear it out to sundry festivals and activities and project “yes, I’m at a festival, but I still have glama!”  Was $90, with coupon it’s now $35.

Sigh, these pants? These pants are summer. I think we already know my weakness for the magical flattering powers of a wide leg trouser, but mix in a linen blend AND a mouth-watering color? I’m sunk. On sale for $15 (I KNOW) down from $50.

And speaking of weaknesses, you know how I love zebra anything, and I’m really hearting this maillot with zebra action. Finally a break from the all black/hibiscus/blue bathing suits, marked down to only $25.

Over at Lane Bryant I am very intrigued indeed by their brand new sports bras which are buy one get one 50% off, plus with $15 off a $50   purchase (or $25 off $75) using code 015003030 you could take home both this racer back criss-cross microfiber bra and the (admittedly perplexing) ultimate sports bra for only $42, combined! That’s like buying one and getting the other for $4.

Over at 6pm.com they’re having a sale on Charles by Charles David that is “bigger ‘n Dallas” in the language of my people.

I like the pomegranate (possibly?) pattern on the green sandals (also? GREEN) marked 74% off to $20, and these champagne leather sandals look a GREAT DEAL like a pair of Valentinos I own and love, except my funny valentines were $700 and these are on sale for $47. Not that I’m bitter.

And finally, because it’s World Cup time, I would be remiss in including a few physical activity-related item, namely the Reebok 75cm stability ball which is currently rocking my face off with its excellent stretching and core strength exercises, and –because I don’t want to be the only journalist or blogger to not jump on this buzzy bandwagon– the vuvuzela, bane of soccer players and gift of Scrabble players everywhere. Get yours today. You neighbors will love it.

Hello my little butternuts, how’s every little thing? Yes, it’s time for your weekly humpletter featuring ten new Plumcake-approved tidbits of deliciousness, mostly on sale!

It’s actually a fairly slow week for sales thanks to the swing back from Memorial Day, so we’re doing something a little different.   One of the things I hate hate HATE is when people I know copy my personal style –which is pretty specific– just a little too closely. It’s awkward for everyone involved. I’ll never forget that day years ago when I walked into church to find some sweet but terribly misguided Young Thing wearing what can only be described as a Plumcake costume.

In the parlance of my people, “I liketa died.”

That being said, I thought it might be fun –and I invite you all to play along in the comments– to actually CREATE a Plumcake costume using the sales this week.  Create your own costume in the comments field, just don’t worry if it takes a few minutes to post. It might get caught in the pending filter.

First up are these Original Ray Ban Wayfarers in dark tortoise shell, on sale at Lord and Taylor using code FRIENDS to take 25% off your entire purchase. I never leave my house without my torties, which are just as cool as the traditional black ones but a bit more sophisticated.

These are timeless timeless timeless and perfect for either sex, so if your father is still wearing those tragiculous Blu-Blockers, why not buy him a pair of Wayfarers?  He’ll look like  an Italian movie star (white loafers not included.)

And if I’m never without my Wayfarers I’m never ever without my Hermes scarf. In fact, you could probably execute a fairly reputable Plumcake costume with just the scarf and the sunnies, plus a pair of vintage clip ons.

Pictured here is my absolute favorite foulard from my not-inconsiderable collection. It’s called Les Rivieres de Babel and although I have it in the aqua, there is precisely ONE of these available for purchase  from Potero (on sale too, it is to weep), so get it quick. It’s the only scarf I’ve ever paid a premium for and the photos simply do NOT do it justice. So pretty. So SO pretty.  When a woman d’une certain age showed up fresh off the plane from Paris with it wrapped around her neck, I fell in love and proceeded to hairlip hell until I located one and purchased it with much whimpering of bank account and a month of meal planning that involved the phrase “beans and toast” more often that I typically find ideal.  And you know what? Worth. Every. Penny.

And of course one good turn of Hermes deserves another: the Hermes Bolide in brown box calf.  Again, there’s only one of them, but it’s at 63% off retail and in great condition. Of course as with all Hermes bags, it is entitled to the legendary spa, where loved bags are buffed, primped and polished back to new. Now in the spirit of full disclosure: I don’t own a Bolide, I have a Birkin which I received as a break up gift (sorta) and have used exactly once, but for all the folderol over the Birkin being il handbag di tutti handbags, I’d kinda rather have the Bolide.

Moving from the screamingly expensive to the cheap and cheerful, I mentioned earlier you could compose a pretty decent Plumcake costume with just the scarf, sunglasses and a pair of vintage clip on earrings.

I couldn’t tell you how many pairs of vintage earbobs I own. Hundreds probably. I might even know where a few of them are (I always carry some sparklies in my purse in case I need to put them on in a flash, and usually a few pair at the office, in the car…wherever)

It is a shameful truth that, like snails leave slime and skunks leave stink, I leave a trail of  earrings wherever I roam.  I’ve tried to fix it, but to no avail. I almost always find them again eventually, but in case I don’t, I really hate to invest too much.

I’m a sucker for figural earrings, or something with a little hint of whimsy, like these floral ear clips on clearance from La Vintage, which will set you back a measly 17 smackaroos.

These little darlings measure about 3/4″ and are just about exactly what I go for in an earring. Casual but still a little sparkly, charming but not cutesy and pretty enough to draw light but not so spectacular as to draw attention away from my face.

If you’re not in the habit of wearing earrings, give it a shot.  I have pierced ears but only wear clip-ons, so I can pull them off or put them on at a moment’s notice.  Also, you should always ALWAYS wear earrings when trying on clothing  (nothing dangly, please). You’ll be amazed on how much more put together you’ll look, just with a simple pair of bobs.

More fabulousness after the jump, clicky click!
(more…)

Hey all you bargain fans out there! The Manolo in his infinite wisdom (and I certainly do mean infinite, since he’s the guy who was smart enough to give me a writing gig) has requested that I start doing a bargains/recommendations article on Wednesdays.

And so here we go!

Avenue.com is running a deal 50% off your highest priced item when you spend a minimum of $75.00 with code AV101080. What do I love? How about this cute orange print sundress with smocking detail:

All cotton and machine washable for comfort and convenience, it’s just $26.90 and comes up to size 30/32. Also join Avenue’s Facebook fanclub for  a chance to win a $250.00 gift card. See site for details.

(more…)

Oh yeah, I’m a lucky lady.

You see, recently Shop Translated picked several blogs to participate in giveaways of their clothes. I entered the prize drawing at Hyde and Seek, a blog I enjoy tremendously. As it happens, I was one of the winners. As a winner, I was allowed to pick one piece of clothing from Shop Translated. The only caveat was that it couldn’t be from the New Arrivals section. Fair enough.

It took a little while to make my decision, but when I saw the sleeveless wrap dress:

I knew I’d found my piece.

My new dress arrived on saturday. Considering that I won just seven days earlier, I call that swift service. The good folks at Shop Translated even congratulated me on my win on the invoice. Nice touch.

So what do I think of my win? First off, the picture does not do it justice. I thought it looked pretty in the picture, but it’s absolutely gorgeous in person. The splashy print is in purple, turquoise, and navy blue – my favorite colors – on a warm ivory background. And while the fabric is polyester, it’s a high grade of polyester. The seams and hems are finished impeccably.  Seriously, I haven’t seen such neat finishing for this price in a very, very, very long time. There are small vents at the sides of the skirt (just a couple inches), and while it looks sort of cap sleeved in the picture, it actually is sleeveless.

At 5’2″ I’m definitely shorter than the model, but I prefer to wear my skirts a little long, so that’s no problem. It hits about mid-calf on me. What’s closer to being a problem (for me) is the fact that the model is also more chestally endowed than I am. I’m a C cup and the ‘wrap’ bodice is inclined to open up a bit more than I’d like. As in, I had trouble covering up my bra. Still, it’s nothing a well-placed brooch or a couple of small tacking stitches can’t take care of. In the meantime, those of you in the D – DD range will probably get a perfect fit on the faux wrap.

In short, I consider this site an excellent place to look for something new to wear at a reasonable price.

Go, thou, and support a fine purveyor of attractive clothes for the more generously-sized lady of fashion consciousness.

So I got some sleep and there’s no sign I’ve actually ordered a horse, which is more than a small relief.  I thought I’d give the mosaic theme a break today and treat you to a few bits o’ choreographed brill from this week’s list courtesy of Judy Garland and Rufus Wainwright.

Reading: Wise Blood by Flannery O’Conn0r. There’s no Gothic like Southern Gothic and there’s no guilt like Catholic Guilt. Besides, “no man with a good car needs to be justified”.

Watching: Summer Stock — my favorite Let’s Put on a Show musical, courtesy of Judy Garland and Gene Kelly

Hearing: Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall -in a continuing theme of Saint Judy.  He lived the dream. Bastard.

Smelling: Bvlgari Black. A weird fragrance I usually save for summer, but a fine example showing not all brilliant perfumes are expensive.  You can pick up Black for under 30 bucks online or at Ross/TJ Maxx etc. The notes in Black include black rubber and tar. Before you turn up your nose, read this review from Bois de Jasmin and then go out and try it. Originally a men’s fragrance it’s being marketed to women, too which makes me think it’s gearing up for a relaunch and corresponding price hike. If you like it, get some now.

Loving: Cows N’ Things Everyone wants to help those adorable little poor children and that’s great and all, but what about the old folks? I won’t teeter up on my soap box about the way Western culture treats its elderly, because I could go on for.ev.er about it and if you want to be tediously lectured there are plenty of other places to go for that. BUT Cows n’ Things is a great charity.  You can buy chicks, a beehive, a donkey ambulance OR cataract surgery (for about 20 USD!!!) for an eldery person in developing nations throughout the world.

Hating: The concept of “being good” or “being bad” at the holidays, especially when it comes to food. It’s ridiculous to see grown damn woman smile like their mischievous toddlers whispering loudly they’re “being bad” and having another sausage ball. Listen, if you need to justify to a room of people what you’re eating AND put a moral judgment on it, your problems are a lot deeper than Bisquick-based party snacks.

Wanting: chocolate-dipped spiced apricots. Partially submerge plump dried apricots in dark chocolate and let set. Drizzle pre-dipped bits with bitter sweet or white chocolate and dust with pumpkin pie spice/warm aromatic spice of your choice. Let chill. Dead easy, makes a million and are super delicious.

Buying: Ovation Finalist Pro Field Boots with extra-wide calves (check the size chart, you may have to go with men’s extra-wides)