Hello my little heffalumps and woozles, it’s time for the return of the Weekly –by which I mean “When I can be bothered”– Humpletter (not strictly speaking ON Humpday, but it is humpy in spirit) highlighting steals and deals from the fatosphere and beyond.  There are some doozies to be had this week, so let’s get on with the show. And as always, I feel I ought to remind you that I do not Run The Internet (yet) so prices might have changed, stock been depleted, blah blah blah.

SWAK Designs are having their Pink Hanger Sale now through January 17th. Lots of trendy pieces to be had, many under $10. My picks? This shawl collar cardi and black bib necklace
.

The Avenue is having its Final Winter Sale with hundreds of items more than 50% off. My picks: ruched hem chino crops and a gunmetal sequined pencil skirt, both perfect paired with a slouchy cardigan and an aggressive, architectural heel.

Over at 6pm.com we’ve got a huge handbag sale, up to 80% off.  I’m digging the orange eel clutch from Be & D and the purple polished leather hobo from BCBGMaxazria, that are 76% and 70% off, respectively.

more sales after the jump!
(more…)

Reading: At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald Criminally under-appreciated, the Scottish fantasy author –arguably the first successful British fantasy author– influenced everyone from Mark Twain and J.R.R. Tolkein to C.S. Lewis, whose novel The Great Divorce features MacDonald as a character. Unfortunately, the man who served as Lewis Carroll’s mentor –fun fact: it was MacDonald who suggested Carroll submit his little book about a girl named Alice for publication– is virtually ignored. I’d read Lilith ages ago and grew up with Princess and the Goblin and Princess and the Curdie, but I’d missed At the Back of the North Wind until just recently. It’s Oliver Twist meets The Water-Babies, and heartbreakingly beautiful. Don’t miss it.

Watching: Casablanca I still don’t know if Elsa got on the plane, but I sure had a fun time watching it.

Hearing: Club Can’t Handle Me by Flo Rida feat. David Guetta What? Like fat white Episcopalian girls can’t like Flo Rida now? It’s a killer track! Also I would kill for his watch. ALSO also, I totally think he draws in his beard.

Smelling: Iris 39 from Le Labo I went on a little jaunt to Dallas on Saturday and Sunday to do a little shopping, see Andre and visit my brother who I’m beginning to suspect does not own any clothes without illustrated rhinocerosesses on them. The familial visit didn’t happen, the Andre visit was a train wreck, albeit a very poignant, elegant Alphonse Daudet/Guy de Maupassant-style train wreck, but the shopping, the shopping was good. Unlike Austin, Dallas has a proper Barney’s and proper Barney’s have proper fragrance counters, including Serge Lutens, Frederic Malle and Le Labo. I’m wearing Le Labo Iris 39 today and if you like your unflaggingly elegant iris with a little bit of filthy filthy sex, Iris 39 might be worth a go.
(more…)

I don’t know much in this world. I know that gin and tonics prevent malaria, I know that if it doesn’t last longer than a Ramones song you don’t have to add him to your How Many Have You list and I know that –as I’ve said before– life is too short for small jewelry.

This past weekend Twistie was talking about rings the size of snails and that got me thinking about doing another rings post since the last one was so popular.

I wrote a while ago that people think costume jewelry is inherently Less Than fine jewelery (i.e., jewelry made exclusively with precious or semi-precious materials) but it ain’t necessarily so. First of all most of the fine jewelry you can get at malls is so treated and ballsed up that it doesn’t deserve the name, much less the price tag. Secondly, better costume jewelry holds its value as well as if not better than run-of-the-mill fine jewelry in the collectors’ market.

Unfortunately, Miss Plumcake has large hands and most decent costume rings in the shops only come in one size and that one size is not Plumcake-sized at all. Enter HSN.com. HSN knows a good thing when it sees it and quickly figured out that one size does not fit all, and so offers most of its amazing rings up to a size 10 or even 12.

So, let’s take a look at a few sparklies that have been catching my eye, shall we? I believe they’re all under $100 with many well under  $50.  Bonus!

Of course if you’re going to wear a ring the size of a snail, it might as well be the shape of a snail, no?
Click on the image for links.

I luh-uve the first because it’s totally something I would wear, particularly as I love amber and citrine colors on rings and –fun fact– snails are totally my totem animal. The second one isn’t quite my style but I wanted to toss something in for the silver lovers among you.

Of course you can’t talk about costume jewelry without bringing up the Fake It ’til You Make It trope. Eh, I don’t really have a burning desire to buy or have bought for me one of those cute little clover-shaped Van Cleef and Arpels rings, but this amethyst-colored jobber gives the same feel for a lot less dosh, plus it’s different enough not to feel like a knock-off.

See also the Cartier leopard. Cartier has been making gorgeous jewel-and-enamel leopards for probably close to a century now and they are iconic. So too are the Kenneth Jay Lane leopards that followed them. While The vintage Kenneth Jay Lane ones fetch a pretty penny this ring by Adrienne is a quite nice homage to Joaillier des Rois, Roi des Joailliers without the royal price.

SPEAKING of enamel, I love the stuff. It’s such an elegant look and people hardly wear it anymore, which is a shame. I particularly like enamel “figurals” like these floral rings (the green one is my favorite ring of this batch, click to see more)
(more…)

Okay, so we all know and love We Love Colors for our colored tights needs because they have awesome plus-size tights that actually are plus-size. Their EE fits women that are 5’5″ – 6’0″ and 320 – 375 lbs. BUT a girl cannot live in pumpkin-colored tights alone, which is why I am So. Freakin. PSYCHED about the Avenue releasing a whole slew of patterned tights at an incredible price point for the quality.

Patterned tights are a great way to transition from daywear to datewear (yeah, I hate myself for saying that, but it’s true) and add just enough downtown cool so you look put together and polished, but not stuffy or like you should be behind the counter at Macy’s telling me about my gift with any $25 Estee Lauder purchase.

And I’ve gotta tell you, I’m also kind of psyched because it’ll let me get away without buying a ton of new dresses.

As you know, Miss Plumcake keeps a very tight rein on her wardrobe, but I’ve got several pieces that have seen their seven years of service and are being set out to pasture this fall, making my wardrobe that much smaller.

A fab pair of patterned tights is an excellent way to dress up a relatively conservative dress and create a new look from a capsule wardrobe. Since the visual focus will be on the tights, not the dress, if you find yourself traveling and only being able to take one or two dresses with you, this can save you a world of heartache by creating new looks with a minimum of pieces (also try to find a dress you can wear back-to-front).

Plus, and I’m just putting this out here. I got short legs.

Yep, although I’m tall like giant, I don’t suffer from an overelongation of pins and these vertical stripes? Make my legs go on for MILES (or kilometers, depending on where you’re reading this and where my legs happen to be at the time).

(how cute would these be on a dress that’s just a teensy bit too short to rock  without legwear, so the lace peeks out a bit?)

Remember, when wearing patterned tights, ideally you want to go for a closed-toe shoe unless you KNOW you know what you’re doing.

Hello my little lobsters thermidor, how’s every little thing? It’s time for your weekly humpletter, full of Plumcake-approved objets and whatnots for your glammy life.

TODAY  ONLY save 50% off your highest priced item at Jessica London using code JLE4559, if you miss today never fear. Use code JLE4994 to take a still very respectable 40% off until June 20th. Combine it with their already pretty swingin’ summer sale and you’ve got some major bargains happening.

I’m digging the following pieces in a big way:

I bemoan the fact I don’t wear blazers well because I am all. over. this striped jacket.  Originally $80, it’s yours for $25.

The bead detail along the underbust and the sari-influenced pattern and pleating of this maxi dress in airy georgette is just special enough so you can wear it out to sundry festivals and activities and project “yes, I’m at a festival, but I still have glama!”  Was $90, with coupon it’s now $35.

Sigh, these pants? These pants are summer. I think we already know my weakness for the magical flattering powers of a wide leg trouser, but mix in a linen blend AND a mouth-watering color? I’m sunk. On sale for $15 (I KNOW) down from $50.

And speaking of weaknesses, you know how I love zebra anything, and I’m really hearting this maillot with zebra action. Finally a break from the all black/hibiscus/blue bathing suits, marked down to only $25.

Over at Lane Bryant I am very intrigued indeed by their brand new sports bras which are buy one get one 50% off, plus with $15 off a $50   purchase (or $25 off $75) using code 015003030 you could take home both this racer back criss-cross microfiber bra and the (admittedly perplexing) ultimate sports bra for only $42, combined! That’s like buying one and getting the other for $4.

Over at 6pm.com they’re having a sale on Charles by Charles David that is “bigger ‘n Dallas” in the language of my people.

I like the pomegranate (possibly?) pattern on the green sandals (also? GREEN) marked 74% off to $20, and these champagne leather sandals look a GREAT DEAL like a pair of Valentinos I own and love, except my funny valentines were $700 and these are on sale for $47. Not that I’m bitter.

And finally, because it’s World Cup time, I would be remiss in including a few physical activity-related item, namely the Reebok 75cm stability ball which is currently rocking my face off with its excellent stretching and core strength exercises, and –because I don’t want to be the only journalist or blogger to not jump on this buzzy bandwagon– the vuvuzela, bane of soccer players and gift of Scrabble players everywhere. Get yours today. You neighbors will love it.

Hello my little butternuts, how’s every little thing? Yes, it’s time for your weekly humpletter featuring ten new Plumcake-approved tidbits of deliciousness, mostly on sale!

It’s actually a fairly slow week for sales thanks to the swing back from Memorial Day, so we’re doing something a little different.   One of the things I hate hate HATE is when people I know copy my personal style –which is pretty specific– just a little too closely. It’s awkward for everyone involved. I’ll never forget that day years ago when I walked into church to find some sweet but terribly misguided Young Thing wearing what can only be described as a Plumcake costume.

In the parlance of my people, “I liketa died.”

That being said, I thought it might be fun –and I invite you all to play along in the comments– to actually CREATE a Plumcake costume using the sales this week.  Create your own costume in the comments field, just don’t worry if it takes a few minutes to post. It might get caught in the pending filter.

First up are these Original Ray Ban Wayfarers in dark tortoise shell, on sale at Lord and Taylor using code FRIENDS to take 25% off your entire purchase. I never leave my house without my torties, which are just as cool as the traditional black ones but a bit more sophisticated.

These are timeless timeless timeless and perfect for either sex, so if your father is still wearing those tragiculous Blu-Blockers, why not buy him a pair of Wayfarers?  He’ll look like  an Italian movie star (white loafers not included.)

And if I’m never without my Wayfarers I’m never ever without my Hermes scarf. In fact, you could probably execute a fairly reputable Plumcake costume with just the scarf and the sunnies, plus a pair of vintage clip ons.

Pictured here is my absolute favorite foulard from my not-inconsiderable collection. It’s called Les Rivieres de Babel and although I have it in the aqua, there is precisely ONE of these available for purchase  from Potero (on sale too, it is to weep), so get it quick. It’s the only scarf I’ve ever paid a premium for and the photos simply do NOT do it justice. So pretty. So SO pretty.  When a woman d’une certain age showed up fresh off the plane from Paris with it wrapped around her neck, I fell in love and proceeded to hairlip hell until I located one and purchased it with much whimpering of bank account and a month of meal planning that involved the phrase “beans and toast” more often that I typically find ideal.  And you know what? Worth. Every. Penny.

And of course one good turn of Hermes deserves another: the Hermes Bolide in brown box calf.  Again, there’s only one of them, but it’s at 63% off retail and in great condition. Of course as with all Hermes bags, it is entitled to the legendary spa, where loved bags are buffed, primped and polished back to new. Now in the spirit of full disclosure: I don’t own a Bolide, I have a Birkin which I received as a break up gift (sorta) and have used exactly once, but for all the folderol over the Birkin being il handbag di tutti handbags, I’d kinda rather have the Bolide.

Moving from the screamingly expensive to the cheap and cheerful, I mentioned earlier you could compose a pretty decent Plumcake costume with just the scarf, sunglasses and a pair of vintage clip on earrings.

I couldn’t tell you how many pairs of vintage earbobs I own. Hundreds probably. I might even know where a few of them are (I always carry some sparklies in my purse in case I need to put them on in a flash, and usually a few pair at the office, in the car…wherever)

It is a shameful truth that, like snails leave slime and skunks leave stink, I leave a trail of  earrings wherever I roam.  I’ve tried to fix it, but to no avail. I almost always find them again eventually, but in case I don’t, I really hate to invest too much.

I’m a sucker for figural earrings, or something with a little hint of whimsy, like these floral ear clips on clearance from La Vintage, which will set you back a measly 17 smackaroos.

These little darlings measure about 3/4″ and are just about exactly what I go for in an earring. Casual but still a little sparkly, charming but not cutesy and pretty enough to draw light but not so spectacular as to draw attention away from my face.

If you’re not in the habit of wearing earrings, give it a shot.  I have pierced ears but only wear clip-ons, so I can pull them off or put them on at a moment’s notice.  Also, you should always ALWAYS wear earrings when trying on clothing  (nothing dangly, please). You’ll be amazed on how much more put together you’ll look, just with a simple pair of bobs.

More fabulousness after the jump, clicky click!
(more…)

Hey all you bargain fans out there! The Manolo in his infinite wisdom (and I certainly do mean infinite, since he’s the guy who was smart enough to give me a writing gig) has requested that I start doing a bargains/recommendations article on Wednesdays.

And so here we go!

Avenue.com is running a deal 50% off your highest priced item when you spend a minimum of $75.00 with code AV101080. What do I love? How about this cute orange print sundress with smocking detail:

All cotton and machine washable for comfort and convenience, it’s just $26.90 and comes up to size 30/32. Also join Avenue’s Facebook fanclub for  a chance to win a $250.00 gift card. See site for details.

(more…)