Manolo for the Big Girl

Hello young lovers! How’s every little thing? Me? Oh I’m just peachy. Except I decided to do a Heavy Eye on Saturday night and I’m still excavating that stuff off my face. The downside of having eyelash extension is you really want to be careful using anything oil-based, so now when I want to do a super smoky evening-look eye it turns into a three day removal process wherein I’m full on the first day, and the next day I’m sort of Saraghina from 8 1/2 and on the third day I’m totally channeling Anna Magnani in the Rose Tattoo (how fabulous was she? SO fabulous. More importantly how hot was Burt Lancaster?)

Anyhoodle, it’s Tuesday so it’s time to find out What Miss Plumcake is…

You’ll notice I’m a little Scot-centric this week as we are coming up on the celebration of Robert Burns’ birthday, January 25th. If you’ve never been to a Burns Night, you simply MUST. No Scottish blood required –although be prepared to be asked if you’ve got any Scottish in you and when you answer no, be asked “would you like to?”– There’s singing and poetry (usually) and bagpipes and haggis (always, although they usually have vegetarian haggis which is revolting and contrary to the ways of the Lord) and everyone has a big time with the Address to a Haggis,  The Immortal Memory, The Toast to the Lassies and –my personal favorite– The Response to the Laddies.

Dress code varies, but please don’t just wear random plaid. Ladies: if you have a clan, wear a sash in your clan’s dress tartan. Gents: Bonnie Prince Charlies are ideal. But even if you don’t have a drop of the Northern blood, don’t worry just show up and have a ball.

Reading: Robert Burns, the Complete Works No house should be without.

Watching: Black Books. Surprisingly, since I’m the United Nations of failed relationships, I’ve never dated a misanthropic drunken Irish bookseller but if I did, I’d like to date this one. Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey and that girl who played Dr Todd from Green Wing (Tamisin Grieg) had me laughing harder than that time my neighbor’s jack russell pulled out a “chew toy” labeled “Swedish Erotica”

Hearing: Lyrics of Gold: Songs of Robert Burns by Ed Miller. Ed Miller is a pink-faced fount of Scottish folk tunes and apparently a Really Big Deal as far as these things go, traveling all over the world to spread the Scottish word.  I’ve known Ed socially for a few years now and while the man can’t iron a shirt to save his  life (pull it together Ed!)  his albums are still very much worth having.

Smelling: Serge Lutens Bois et Musc. An exceedingly lovely light cedar with just a hint of musk, Bois et Musc isn’t the big honking juice Christopher Sheldrake usually releases for Serge Lutens. It wears very close to the skin. Bois et Musc is one of the non-exports so as with all Lutens bell jars you’ll have to pick it up at Les Salons du Palais Royal Shisheido in Paris, although you can occasionally find one on the secondary market. Decants are available at The Perfumed Court and while I don’t love it as much as the coniferous incense bomb that is Filles en Aiguilles, I couldn’t say no when a bell jar graciously found its way into my personal collection.

Loving:Early Greek Philosophy ed. Jonathan Barnes. Drop a cherry in me and call me old fashioned, but I think to be a Cultured Woman of The World you’ve got to be up on your philosophers (pictured here: my Pre-Socratic Greek Boyfriend, Pythagoras) and Barnes’ edition of selected writings of the Early Greeks is totally accessible.  I know I’m an old stick in the mud, but so much of what’s being written these days is just junk. There’s nothing wrong with an improving book, and getting back into the habit of thinking critically and logically. Now you kids put down those Pink Books and get offa my lawn!

Hating: The OTK Boot trend. Has anyone seen this employed in real life where it actually works and the woman doesn’t look like a hooker or a serious fashion victim? Because I haven’t.  I want to, but I haven’t. Also, the women who can afford to drop $2000 on a pair of over the knee boots, at least in Austin, tend to be Women of a Certain Age and I am afraid OTK boots are a young woman’s game.  As I said, I want to be wrong, but I’m not sure I am. If you’ve seen a tastefully executed OTK boot IN REAL LIFE on a non-model or celebrity personage, please submit photographic evidence. I’m dying to see it.

Wanting: Robert Burns stamps. Wah! Stupid American stamps with their stupid CROPS OF NORTH AMERICA which don’t even feature TOBACCO because it’s not like THAT crop was important to  America or anything.  Sir Walter Raleigh should slap the post office across the face for that. Why can’t we have awesome stamps like this? I’m not a philatelist (well, I tried it once in college, but I was drunk) but I shall not rest until I browbeat someone into sending me one of these wee beasties.

Buying: Tartan sash in your clan’s dress. If you know your clan’s tartan, why not buy a sash? They’re usually lightweight wool 10″ wide by 90″ long and serve beautifully as a long muffler-type scarf. Of course on Burns Nights or other times where you want your ancestral pride to show you can wear it in the traditional way but they’re awfully handy to have. Don’t know your tartan? Look it up here
I’m a MacDuff of the Fife line myself and sleep soundly at night knowing no matter how bad my press is, it’ll never be as bad as the clan matriarch, Queen Gruach or “Lady Macbeth” as the kids call her these days.

So I’m finally getting my legs back under me from my vacation and once again it’s time to find out what Miss Plumcake is…

Reading: The Cornish Trilogy by Robertson Davies.  Fun read for academics, Anglicans and other people who are only tedious on the outside.

Watching: Liberty Heights Barry Levinson. Wonderful autumnal film about a group of young Jewish boys coming of age in early 60’s Baltimore.

Hearing: Pump Up the Volume Soundtrack.  Still awesome after all these years. The Pixies, Henry Rollins, Cowboy Junkies, Bad Brains…
Smelling: L’Eau D’Hiver by Jean-Claude Ellena for Frédéric Malle. My favorite winter scent, possibly my favorite scent of all time. The link is for reference only since no one else is allowed to buy it.

Loving: Fake AP Stylebook. It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

Hating: Being a mammal. If there’s an inch of hair on my body that hasn’t been plucked, waxed, cut, bleached, dyed blue (I have blue streaks in my hair) extended, laser-ed or otherwise attended to then by gum I can’t reach it or afford the lady who can.
Wanting: Red trench from Anna Scholz. That’s a 20 year coat, at least.
Buying: Lynx coat from my friend’s furrier in Greece. Because I’ve had a REALLY hard year and I deserve a coat made out of kittens. Besides, people don’t throw paint on you if you live in a state okay with concealed weapons

Vest and pencil skirt by SWAK Designs. Francesca is very pleased with the changes taking place there.

Igigi is having a “secret” showroom event in San Francisco (Mission Street) on Thursday evening from 4-8. If you would like to attend, you must write to them TODAY at rsvp@igigi.com with the names of everyone in your group. There will be  a raffle, special prices on samples and irregulars, and a chance to try on Igigi items before buying, which of course is not normally possible with their online-only store.

Outside San Francisco: A reminder that Igigi is giving free shipping through Friday.

SWAK Designs has made incredible headway in their style this year, to the point that Francesca can actually recommend looking there for business-casual workwear. Francesca is very proud of them! Trashy to classy in one season! She hopes this is the beginning of a movement (certain Other Vendors should pay attention). Just remember to stay away from velour.

Also from SWAK: Free worldwide shipping on orders over $40.  And, if you use code basic35 before the end of the day on Thursday, you’ll get 35% off any of their “basic” wear.

Old Navy’s outerwear sale ends on Thursday. office-appropriate blazer here. And what say you about  this jacket? Francesca thinks it is a hate, but if she squints she can imagine that there is a small niche of people who will love it and look good in it. Like, 5 people. Five very interesting people (says Francesca with sincerity).

Bright fall colors by Isaac Mizrahi for Liz Claiborne

Torrid has taken 50% off clearance items. This could end any minute so time is of the essence. floral pencil skirt for $15. Uber goth-irony pajama pants for $9.50. Plaid Corset Top for $20. Also, at regular prices, many many jeans sold according to inseam length.

Kiyonna has new, pretty items in their sale section. (Just please stay away from the velour! Urgh!)

Jessica London is having an online-only sale on select items. (Meaning, you won’t get these prices in the physical stores).

Liz Claiborne has New Plus Size Arrivals. Francesca loves the bright colors when everyone else is wearing brown, navy and forest green. Remember that they provide free shipping on orders of $75 or more. Also, throughout November, if you shop in-store at any of these Liz Claiborne retail locations, you can get 20% off by printing and bringing this coupon.

Happy shopping! xoxo

Dear Purchasers for Large Chain Stores catering to Plus-Size Customers:

Apparel made of velour is not “stylish” and cannot be made so.

It is not a “must-have for fall,” or for any other season.

It certainly is not appropriate for festive holiday celebrations.

It is not the same as velvet, even if it has a “velvety feel.”

Velour is cheap-looking on anyone, and, on large women, reinforces the stereotype that we are sloppy and lazy.

The only people who should be wearing velour are joggers, high-school gym teachers, people going to sleep on a very cold night, and, occasionally, dancers.

That is all.

Love,

Francesca

No

This dress looks pretty in the picture, but trust Francesca, in person it is a No.

No.

No.

Francesca does not remember what happened to her last raincoat. Did it get lost? Did she bring it to the dry cleaner in one country or another and forget about it? Was it stolen? She has no idea. But one cannot live the whole winter with just a wool coat (as gorgeous as it is) and a wool jacket (as handsome and utilitarian as it is). One needs a little something for warm, rainy days. Something like this:

Gallery Trapeze Coat is sort of like the one Francesca bought, and is available at Nordstrom in sizes 1x – 3x.

And this:

All-weather raincoat with removable lining by London Fog, available at Nordstrom in sizes 1x – 3x for $148, or for less than half that at physical Burlington Coat Factory stores, in the plus-size aisles.

Francesca is so happy.

. . .well, a marathon, really.

Francesca has so many codes and sales to tell you about, it is too much for one post, or even two. So, please keep checking here throughout the day! Francesca will be busy!

Buckle your seatbelts . . . here we go . . .

There are many classy new plus-size items available from Liz Claiborne, such as this houndstooth cardigan, sold in three color combinations in sizes 1x, 2x, and 3x.

Also check out the recently-reduced new arrivals. Francesca likes this deep-purple raincoat and, for work, this black shift dress.

Nordstrom is having a sale on clothing for women and kids, including 6 different, gorgeous coats available in sizes 1x, 2x, and 3x

The trench coat pictured is marked down 40%! Francesca also likes this 3/4-length sleeve plaid wool coat. Cozy and stylish, and 40% off.

ENDING TODAY: Get free shipping at Silhouettes by entering code S8HV04 at checkout. ALSO, ending tomorrow: Get a free (very sweet) cosmetic bag and matching coin purse with your order at Silhouettes with code S8FU08. HOWEVER – you can not use both codes at once. It is one or the other.

Francesca has been perusing the Accessories section at Silhouettes, and is planning to buy this beautiful black georgette shawl, and possibly this large leather tote bag to serve as the airplane carry-on item.

Happy shopping, and see you later!

xoxo

Once again, an internet reader pleads to Francesca for help!

The weather has been tres hot and humid all summer in DC, and I have been happy to rock my sleeveless shirts, skirts, and bare legs for several months now. So it came as a surprise to me this morning when I exited my apartment building into somewhat chilly air. Fall is almost upon us! This means no more bare legs (a TRAGEDY, but I’ll have to cope with that one on my own), and it also means coats will again be necessary. I have a fabulous coral-colored rain coat that I have gotten several good years out of. But it’s now looking rather shabby and I’m ready to move on to something else. So far, though, I haven’t been able to find a rain/fall coat that is anywhere near perfect. I need it to survive in the rain, and be a light coat – a very thin lining or none at all. I like making a statement with my coats – no black, grey, or brown for me. I loved the vibrant coral color of my last one, and would love to find something in pink, red, green, purple, blue, or a print. And I would like it to be trench-coat (knee) length. I’m size 18-20, vaguely pair-shaped (ie slightly bigger on the bottom, but mostly in proportion). Lastly, making my request the most difficult, I can only spend $100 – preferably less.

I know if anyone can help me, Francesca can. Please perform that voodoo that you do!

Sincerely,
Jen

Francesca is so very happy to help the Jen, though she is somewhat perplexed by the reference to voodoo. Francesca does not practice the dark arts. She prefers to think of herself as the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz, the beautiful and radiant Glinda, who will now tap her starry wand onto Jen’s bowed head and grant her the wish of the wonderful fall coat.

Behold! It is a purple trench coat which will enliven the gray fall days of the Jen and sparkle with every step! It is available in sizes 14-28 and costs less than 90 of the American dollars!

Avenue will not allow me to post a direct link. Just go to Avenue.com, click on “apparel” and then “coat shop,” and then on to “double breasted patent trench coat.”

Or, click here for a nice raincoat from Land’s End, one which is less fun-and-flirty than our purple design here, but perhaps lighter-feeling and more reliably waterproof – and it is available in a happy, happy shade of light blue. (Be sure to click on “plus sizes” to get the correct list of sizes for the Big Girl!)

Happy fall!

xoxo,

Francesca