So you know how some people like to spread goodness and light wherever they go, and if they had say, an opportunity to reach thousands and thousands people on a regular basis they’d use that influence to do something good and noble like raising money for clean water in southern Malawi?
Yeah, I’m totally not one of those.
But I DO make up for it by bringing you the ugliest shoes on the internet to compete for the highly coveted (in my head) Ferby Gallini Uggo Shooz award, named for two friends whose hearts are as big as their shoes are seizure-inducing, and I’ve got a good one for you:
Let’s just bask in their tragic magnificence shall we?
Because this? Is a lot of stuff happening on a shoe.
We have poison green suede, which in loafer or even pump form I could get behind. There is a dramatic kitten heel. There are not one, not two, but THREE count ’em THREE bands of crochet work in clashing colors AND there’s green snakeskin detail on the cuff and zipper.
My question isn’t why so much, but why isn’t there more? Whither the rhinestones? The studs? Would a smattering of purple fringed tassels have killed you? Sure you bring the ugly, J.J., but do you bring ENOUGH?
(also, anyone who thinks I’m not a sweet girl who loves her readers should note that I was totally ready to make a Stevie Nicks joke, but I know how you cat people are with your Stevie Nicks and your broomstick skirts and useless liberal arts degrees and I’ve put your through enough already, so I’m not. EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO.)
