Our internet friend Kim wrote to Francesca:

I have found out recently that I am pregnant, and being the shopaholic that I am I’ve starting shopping around the web for maternity wear. Unfortunately, I’ve only been finding up to sizes 18, and I am a 20. Do you have some places to recommend?

Regarding the impending birth of your child, Francesca says: Congratulations! May your baby be healthy and happy and bring out the very best in you. And let you sleep sometimes. Francesca wishes you all the best! xoxo!

Regarding your search for size 20 maternity wear, Francesca says: Ayyyy! Kim has set for Francesca a most difficult quest indeed!

Francesca has never been pregnant, but for her friend Kim she spent a goodly amount of time researching the fashion choices of the plus-size woman with a bun in the oven.

Slim pickin’s, ladies. It is slim pickin’s. (No pun intended.)

First of all, Francesca will not recommend any place that offers plus-size maternity wear. It must be superfantastic maternity wear. And here is where we immediately hit a terrible, terrible obstacle. The internet is rife — rife, I say — with online vendors who do not understand that a pregnant plus-size woman does not need to look like a flowery cow draped with a polyester blanket. More than once, Francesca turned her head from the computer, pulling at her hair and shouting “my eyes! my eyes!”

And then there is the additional challenge of finding clothes which indeed go up to size 20, rather than just size 16 or 18. From Kim, the new baby will surely learn the values of resourcefulness, persistence, and creative problem-solving!

There are two sites which Francesca deems to offer a large selection of super-fantastic choices for the plus-size pregnant lady. By “superfantastic” Francesca means, in this context, that the clothes have some shape, and not all of them are made of polyester, and that there is a good likelihood of finding items appropriate for work or for a date with one’s partner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate the success in getting knocked up. Finding clothes for staying home folding laundry is easy. Finding clothes for a meeting with a new client is the challenge for Francesca!

One of these worthy-of-Manolo sites is Maternity Clothing Fashions, which has some items available in Size 20. Kim should note that the sizing scale is different for each item (there is a chart on each page), and so some size 20 clothing corresponds to 3X, and some to 4X. Finding the size 20 takes some searching, but it is there if you look hard enough. Luckily, the pregnancy lasts only 9 months, and a few well-chosen pieces, taken care of, will go a long way.

Here is an attractive and versatile off-the-shoulder maternity top which goes up to size 20:

And this skirt is available in white or taupe, through size 20:

Francesca further recommends that Kim read this helpful article at BabyCenter.com, with tips for finding maternity wear in plus sizes, links to vendors (buyer beware! Take care of your eyes!) and tips for making your own clothes.

For those who can wear a 16 or 18 (or lower), Francesca also gives her stamp of approval to BabyStyle.com. She is fond of this black flutter wrap dress, which is on sale from $88 down to $30!

Finally, for the convenience of our internet friends, Francesca will share with you the short list of vendors which, while not quite as superfantastic as the two above, did not make Francesca want to make like Oedipus. The materials here are not as likely to be high quality, but if one is careful, one can find many useful and perhaps even superfantastic styles for the pregnancy, especially if one searches for “work,” “business casual,” and “evening” clothes:

JCPenny (Women’s sizes are included in the regular category. Tall sizes have their own section)

Plus Mom Maternity

Maternity 4 Less

Lane Bryant (through size 44 for the Kim!)

Happy pregnancy, take care of your feets, and happy shopping!

xoxo, Francesca

One may ask: Francesca, why do you consistently recommend skirts and dresses, and not pants, for the Big Girls?

Francesca has given this much thought. Certainly, it is very possible to be a plus-size lady, wear pants, and be superfantastic. See? Like this:

However, the Manolo having established that being large and superfantastic is hard, expensive work, Francesca believes that it is even harder in pants. Again, not impossible, just harder.

A skirt, you see, is, if well-chosen, designed to de-accentuate the tummy and upper thighs, while pants do more to accentuate every line.

If you are a pear-shape, finding superfantastic pants may be a leetle beet easier. However, if, like Francesca, you are Appley, wearing pants is more likely than not to show off the lumpy-squishies which protrude frontward from one’s torso, unless one is careful. If one tucks in one’s shirt, one’s tummy roll is outlined perfectly. If one does not tuck in one’s shirt, one may look frumpy.

There is a way around this: One can pair the pants with a very pretty, well-made, well-fitting, hip-length blouse and a belt, or a tunic with an empire waist.

Whatever you do, if you are going to wear pants, they must be of the highest quality, made of the finest materials. Jeans should not have holes or frays or anything associated with the word “grunge” (unless you are the goth or punk-rocker high school or college student, in which case this is OK since it goes with your very fierce attitude).

The pants should be tight enough to look fitted, not saggy. They should be loose enough that you do not get a muffin top or look like a skanky ho.

(This is an example of a pants “don’t.” Actually, it is several examples, in one pair of pants.)

Back pockets and seams should be placed such that your oh-so-sexy bottom looks exactly as round as you want it to — not too flat and not more round than you are comfortable with.

And again, the pants should be paired with the attractive top, which — if you are a Poochie Mama– either flows attractively over the tummy and hips, or can be coordinated with a belt.

Wearing pants when one is big is difficult, expensive work. But it can be done! Francesca has faith in you!

Go forth and shop!

Xoxo, Francesca

Oh hey guys! What’s going on? You wanna grab some lunch later? I’m totally starving. See, I woke up late and didn’t have time to eat brea…what? Why are you guys staring at me? OMG I DID NOT “TOTALLY COPY” YOU. I BOUGHT THIS OUTFIT MONTHS AGO! (flounces off)

God, twins can be SO creepy. 

Plumcake suspects these Beverly Feldmans are for a very old profession indeed.