Manolo for the Big Girl

I am not blessed with a cygnine neck or a prominent collarbone.

It was the death of my short-lived modeling career (seriously, Crystal Renn’s entire career just hangs on her collarbone) but I am blessed with a significant and ever-growing collection of Very Fancy Scarves.

The difficulty is, and we’ve all seen it, foulards can be a difficult look for the fat of face.

Those fancy wraps and knots that look so fab on our slim sisters with the long necks can make us look like cheap Christmas bonbons.

Does that mean we have to leave our foulards to others, or just use them as kerchiefs, gypsy belts or –my personal fave– camisoles under tuxedo jackets? Mais non! (That’s French for Hells -to-the-No.)

As we’ve discussed before, the best way to hit sartorial paydirt is to pay attention to balance.

Think of it like a basic layer cake. If it’s all frosting and no cake (or all hat and no cattle, as we say in Texas) then you’ll get a bellyache. If it’s all cake and no frosting, it’s okay but not, you know, ideal. No, just as the perfect martini has the right amount of vermouth –I don’t subscribe to this bone-dry nonsense, if you’re going to drink a glass of gin drink a glass of gin, but don’t call it a martini unless there’s at least a respectable dribbling of vermouth– the best outfits play with hard/soft and high/low.

So what does that have to do with fat girls in scarves?

Well scarves are soft. They’re billowy and silky and airy and light. They’re fluffy. We are also fluffy. So scarves on big girls can be like frosting on frosting. The key is to have a bit of angular definition in a scarf.

I’ve also found that keeping the scarf away from your face makes for a better look than one wrapped tightly around the neck (I learned this the hard way when I watched myself talking while wearing a snugly-wrapped scarf. My chins took on a life of their own.)

The most flattering knot I’ve found is this one:

In Texas it’s called the buckaroo knot, but some folks –including the fabulous Mai Tai– call it the friendship knot. Whatever you call it, it takes a few minutes to figure out the first time, but after a few tries you’ll be as handy as any vaquero (buckaroo comes from vaquero the Spanish word for cowboy).  Personally I wear mine with the knot to the side with the scarf ends flared out –I pin it, which is a no-no, but whatever–  so it creates a broader shoulder look, which is excellent for the pear-shaped who need a little upper body balance.

I’m also very much digging the linda knot, which this adorable little man –clearly an Hermes sales assistant– demonstrates:

I wear it tied in a soft square knot -again off to the side. This one doesn’t take any practice at all, but does work best on a scarf that’s got a little firmness in its hand.

Finally there’s the butterfly knot.  I only do a small variation of this, making a smaller butterfly and using a regular ring instead of a scarf ring, but it’s pretty, easy and looks WAY fancier and more complicated than it is.

So what about you? Do you wear scarves? I know a lot of American women are scared of them, but I want to know what you think!

Happy, happy Thanksgiving!

Today we are pricing down, to Fashion Bug, which  sells Misses and Plus size casual-wear and lingerie. At the top of the home page, you can opt to shop according to size, including 16-34, 16-32 short (they couldn’t call it petite? Whatever.), and 16-32 long. (Warning: Short and Long selections are limited.) (Misses sizes start at 6). Their sale page is here.

Today they are having the Thanksgiving Day sale, online only, on all their Fall clothing here.

YES

Francesca had a hard time with the “Yesses” and “Maybes” because her personal idea of “casual” is “suede jacket with boot-cut jeans.” So let us get it out of the way: If you are looking for your basic turtlenecks (on sale today for $6 apiece), polo shirts, jeans, panties, and the like, this is a good place to go. It is a good value for the price.

And now for the slightly more Francesca-esque items. Click for outfit suggestions and/or purchase info:

NO

MAYBE

While I believe firmly that some people are simply born with tremendous amounts of style, those fashionable freaks are the exception, not the rule.

Most folks with any sort of chic at all take a heavily revisionist hand to their early sartorial development.

Case in point: legend has it, moments after emerging from my mother’s womb I took one look at the delivery room wallpaper, said “Mauve? Really?” and popped back in until I could be brought into this earth surrounded by more suitable wallcoverings, perhaps something in a William Morris print.

What I fail to mention is the time in 8th grade history when Mrs Cheeseman made me go to the bathroom to wash the purple lipstick off my face, or my middle school years which were heavily punctuated by Liza-with-a-Z quality rayon “big shirts” (the bane of the Big Girl of which I still have the horrors) and deeply ill-advised trapeze top/leggings sets, the most famous of which was a head-to-toe Holstein print bestowed upon me by my grandmother who, despite all evidence to the contrary, really did love me at the time.

(this is less than ideal)
The point is: It’s a process.

As with most processes, you’ll naturally want to tweak here and there, otherwise you’ll end up in a rut and before you know it you’ll be That Lady. The most obvious examples of That Lady is the middle-aged woman who wears her hair the same way she did in high school or the sweet old lady who could stun a yeti with her “signature perfume” which she’s been wearing since 1954, immune to the idea that her nose is dead to the scent.

I can’t tell you how many folks I talk to get frustrated with their own ruts.

They complain how “it” seems to come so easily to some people while they struggle along and can’t add something to their wardrobe without feeling like it’s a costume. They shove the piece they love in the back of the closet because they felt uncomfortable wearing it, or like it was wearing them and then these poor souls feel they’ve let themselves down, like they can’t wear Capital F Fashion and might as well go back to the jeans and t-shirts, because at least then they won’t look stupid.

It just breaks the heart.

Because here’s the thing: a sophisticated sense of style takes practice and getting mad at yourself for not being good at it right off the bat is just, well forgive my language, doofy.

For the next few days we’re going to talk about the process from inspiration to realization of incorporating elements into your personal style so it feels like a natural, easy extension instead of a gimmick or costume. This is valuable for absolute beginners as well as folks who already feel they’ve got a handle on advanced fashion but want to branch out.

Stay tuned, it should be fun.

We’re in Milan now. Well I’m not, but the shows are.

I’m still here in Austin, nursing what might actually be the hamthrax and wondering how long it will be before I can go home and unearth my jammeroos, which are the pj’s I wear exclusively when I’m sick.

I’ll go back and do London later and talk about the three “plus size models” used in a show that caused two stylists to quit. I say “plus size” because two of them were American 8’s and 10’s, there was one size 12. The show was awful and the clothes are ugly, but read Style Spy’s reaction to tide you over.)

I don’t really know what to make of the Dolce and Gabbana show. I DO know they had several bloggers sitting in the front row, which I think is swell, and since I’m in big drop-drawers love with dinner jackets right now I loved pretty much all of those.

But.

Well, I didn’t HATE it, and I have a feeling it might grow on me, but as it stands right now? Meh.

I think the problem is, this didn’t really feel like a Dolce show to me. It felt like a mediocre Gaultier show with a splash of Dior. Now, a mediocre Gaultier show is still going to rock my casbah, but…I don’t know, I just didn’t love it.

Plus there were 63 exits. That’s a lot of exits. Up close the clothes are all amazing, but seriously, did they even edit at all? The show was all over the place. Do D and G ski *ahem* with Marc Jacobs?

There was the Latin cowboy look which was my favorite motif, providing some amazing jackets:

Loved this jacket, but can’t say I’m digging the pannier pants.

Very much want. But not the pants. It’s like a pumpkin is mourning in her crotch.

Yowza.

It’s tough for a big girl to do a whole severely tailored look, because our bodies fight it, but I do like –and often employ– a mess jacket over a feminine dress.

This look works better on apples than on pears, unless you’re quite tall or very comfortable with your legs since when doing a jacket/dress combo it’s best to keep the dress on the shortish side and wear a heel heavy enough to “anchor” the look.

I was not crazy about the widow’s weeds exits. It seemed messy to me,especially in the wake of Dior’s recent triumph with under-as-outer and lingerie fabrics, especially black Swiss, of which we see a lot in the Dolce show.

It either looked messy:

unfinished:

or just well, whatever the hell this is:

God, that’s a mess.

Which isn’t to say I didn’t like the show, I dug several of the exits including the unfinished one worn by Sessilee Lopez, my model of the moment. it’s just…it left me feeling vaguely dissatisfied. Like it sort of veered of into Givenchy In a Bad Way territory by way of Lady GaGa.

viz:

That’s one immaculately made bordello lampshade!

and did we really need what is essentially a cake wreck in corset form?

There weren’t any Enormous Ball Gowns so who knows what Vogue will do without them –I’m always glad to see them, but I’m just as happy they were given a break– but there were animal prints, because it wouldn’t be Dolce without them:

I’d say we’d see this on Beyoncé, but there isn’t enough gold lamé.

“Pink, plaid, and polka-dots will always come back in style” this is all ye know and all ye need to know.

As you might have noticed, plaid –particularly buffalo plaid– is back in a big way for fall.

I’m not such a fan of the buffalo plaid. As a fashion statement it’s better left to the aggressively fashiony and the extremely young, both of whom get a pass because it’s their duty, nay their birthright, to look at least moderately dopey at all times.

But just because we don’t want to give a trend a big tonguey kiss in front of the bishop doesn’t mean we won’t give it a courtesy peck.

Ashley Stewart  has some adorable offerings in the plaid arena:

(click image for links)

I’m particularly smitten with the cropped jacket, but there’s something awfully sexy about that tartan secretary number, even though you’d need to trash the cheap-looking belt and employ an interesting cardi.

Which one is your favorite?

Lord help me. I kind of want these:

These are harem pants.

They’re not the dropped crotch billowy monsters I’ve seen elsewhere and sadly they’re not these either:

(My favorite look from an INCREDIBLE show)

they’re sort of moderate harem pants –harem pants for the concubine hobbyist if you will– but I’m pretty darn sure they would work.

Okay okay okay, I know what you’re thinking but let me say a few things in my defense:

A) I am tall and have a lot of “presence”which means I can make a lot of things work just by force of personality.

B) These particular harem pants are made in Malawi. I’ve got a special relationship with Malawi as I am pals with the Bishop of Southern Malawi, the Rt. Reverend James Tengatenga (a hell of a guy) and I’m deeply committed to helping build clean water wells in the poorest area of one of the poorest countries in the world.  I can’t imagine the work conditions are glorious, but I’d rather my money go there than to China.

C) I have seen them work both in theory (YSL above) and in practice (below)

This is a lovely designer I met at the Austin Fashion Awards.

I believe she designed these pants herself out of what looks like shot silk. I particularly loved her ankle straps tied over and above the cuff. To my shame I cannot remember her name –although I believe she won an award– but I DO remember that necklace is vintage YSL. Edit: it’s Corey Lynn Calter. Loved her!

Anyway, I’m kind of fascinated with the whole idea of the harem pant.

Yes, they are “a lot of look” but big girls –especially tall ones–  can carry off a lot of look as well –if not better– as our slender sisters as long as we have the confidence.

What do you think? Would you ever wear harem or harem-esque pants as serious, modern fashion?

Okay, is it going to surprise anyone in the whole wide world that I am a sucker for a gentleman’s pocket square? Anyone? How about you in the back, are you raising your hand? Just scratching? Oh. Okay. You should probably get that looked at.  Anyone else? No? Sigh.

I love a pocket square on a man. My dear friend Mr. S –a diminutive man with snow white hair and a significant member of the design cognoscenti himself– has appeared in a different silk Ferragamo pocket square every time I’ve seen him, and I’ve seen him weekly for years.

It is only my deep regard for Mr. S –and the knowledge that I’m entirely too pretty for prison– that keeps him from being found unconscious by police, having been robbed of all his precious silk pocket squares.

(God. I love Winston Churchill. Seriously. Y’all don’t even KNOW. I am THISCLOSE to doing a Monday Hotness on him and I WILL BAN ANYONE who disagrees…as soon as I figure out how to ban people.)

Anyhoodle.

A good silk pocket square –that is one that’s got a sturdy weave and hand-rolled edges– is a fairly cheap thrill.  The glorious little poison green job I picked up at Neiman Marcus Last Call last week was from their house brand and set me back something like $18.00.

That’s like a martini and a cup of pumpkin bisque at my favorite hotel bar.

Considering the Hermes foulard Andre picked out for me in October made Bergdorf’s $400 richer that day, twenty smackers for a piece of excellent silk in a fantastic color isn’t too bad.

But what to DO with the things?

By FAR my favorite way is to channel Mlles Clara Bow and Louise Brooks and wear it in a broad, vamp-style headband, making a tiny knot in back above the nape. It might be a snug fit; I’ve got a large melon & wear a 7 1/4 hat size so it takes some fiddling, but a standard 17″  square should work for most heads. I wore this with a basic black dress and heavy smoky eyes and received a ton of compliments from *gasp* straight boys.  Who knew?!

The key is to wear it lower on the head than you’d think for maximum chic. Curly girls take note of Clara Bow. This looks best when a few tendrils hang forward over the scarf. Very vampire meets empire. Love.

I’ve also had success folding my square in any of the traditional styles used for breast pockets –I prefer the Cagney or the Winged Puff– and pinning it to my dress with an understated brooch where my breast pocket would be. The choice of pin is essential because you need something to balance but not overpower the square. My trusty silver Bastille key brooch, recommended by my always glamorous friend Frivs in honor of my Bastille Day birthday, always does the trick.

It’s available only through the Mount Vernon gift shop.

Of course if you have enough neck you can wear it as a very small foulard, but I have not had great success with that. If you lucky ducks with long necks give it a go, please report back and tell me how it went!

Being a big girl can be tough when it comes to pulling off male tailoring. We’re generally too big to do that whole “isn’t she adorable in her boyfriend’s jacket” thing and our curves keep us ANYTHING from androgynous.  Tilda Swinton we aint.

And you know? That’s totally okay, because we don’t need to be. Sure, she has a whole mess of statuettes and Alber Elbaz on speed dial, but we have breasts and when it comes down to it, my sweet baby Alber isn’t getting me out of a speeding ticket when I get pulled over for the third time in two weeks.

My other issue with masculine tailoring on women is that unless it’s VERY modern and VERY high-quality –which translates into prohibitively expensive for a lot of us– well, it can look a little played out.

So what’s a girl to do?

Think outside the boxy jacket.

Over the next three days, we’ll be borrowing pieces from the boys, starting with the item nearest and dearest to my head:

The Derby

Call it a bowler or a derby,  if you’ve got dramatic features or a heart-shaped face you need one of these.  I bought one last week and I have no idea how I lived without it. It was like the week I discovered gin and rechargeable batteries. God, that was a good week.

So how do you wear it? Cocked and low on the brow, never EVER on the back of your head. Debbie Gibson is Not What We’re Going For. Think Fraulein Sally Bowles.

Sigh. Life is just so much more FUN when everything’s a Fosse number.

Anyway, there are plenty of purveyors of fine-quality bowlers (you want to be careful you don’t get a costume one. You’re looking at spending $30 – $60 on a decent wool one. Fur felt will be about $400) I like to support local business, so I picked up a traditional wool felt bowler from Stacey Adams at a fantastic little haberdashery called Hatbox. I recommend it to you highly if you’re in the Austin area, although beware: it is a haberdashery, not a millinery.  You’ll probably have to get your church hats somewhere else.

Speaking of recommendations, let me suggest unto you a fantastic book:

You might have seen the musical of the same name, but I still suggest you pick up a copy. The portraits are amazing, the stories are touching and –setting aside my own personal interest in the place where fashion and faith collide– these women are WEARING some hats.