Hello my little lobsters thermidor, how’s every little thing? It’s time for your weekly humpletter, full of Plumcake-approved objets and whatnots for your glammy life.

TODAY  ONLY save 50% off your highest priced item at Jessica London using code JLE4559, if you miss today never fear. Use code JLE4994 to take a still very respectable 40% off until June 20th. Combine it with their already pretty swingin’ summer sale and you’ve got some major bargains happening.

I’m digging the following pieces in a big way:

I bemoan the fact I don’t wear blazers well because I am all. over. this striped jacket.  Originally $80, it’s yours for $25.

The bead detail along the underbust and the sari-influenced pattern and pleating of this maxi dress in airy georgette is just special enough so you can wear it out to sundry festivals and activities and project “yes, I’m at a festival, but I still have glama!”  Was $90, with coupon it’s now $35.

Sigh, these pants? These pants are summer. I think we already know my weakness for the magical flattering powers of a wide leg trouser, but mix in a linen blend AND a mouth-watering color? I’m sunk. On sale for $15 (I KNOW) down from $50.

And speaking of weaknesses, you know how I love zebra anything, and I’m really hearting this maillot with zebra action. Finally a break from the all black/hibiscus/blue bathing suits, marked down to only $25.

Over at Lane Bryant I am very intrigued indeed by their brand new sports bras which are buy one get one 50% off, plus with $15 off a $50   purchase (or $25 off $75) using code 015003030 you could take home both this racer back criss-cross microfiber bra and the (admittedly perplexing) ultimate sports bra for only $42, combined! That’s like buying one and getting the other for $4.

Over at 6pm.com they’re having a sale on Charles by Charles David that is “bigger ‘n Dallas” in the language of my people.

I like the pomegranate (possibly?) pattern on the green sandals (also? GREEN) marked 74% off to $20, and these champagne leather sandals look a GREAT DEAL like a pair of Valentinos I own and love, except my funny valentines were $700 and these are on sale for $47. Not that I’m bitter.

And finally, because it’s World Cup time, I would be remiss in including a few physical activity-related item, namely the Reebok 75cm stability ball which is currently rocking my face off with its excellent stretching and core strength exercises, and –because I don’t want to be the only journalist or blogger to not jump on this buzzy bandwagon– the vuvuzela, bane of soccer players and gift of Scrabble players everywhere. Get yours today. You neighbors will love it.

Hello my little butternuts, how’s every little thing? Yes, it’s time for your weekly humpletter featuring ten new Plumcake-approved tidbits of deliciousness, mostly on sale!

It’s actually a fairly slow week for sales thanks to the swing back from Memorial Day, so we’re doing something a little different.   One of the things I hate hate HATE is when people I know copy my personal style –which is pretty specific– just a little too closely. It’s awkward for everyone involved. I’ll never forget that day years ago when I walked into church to find some sweet but terribly misguided Young Thing wearing what can only be described as a Plumcake costume.

In the parlance of my people, “I liketa died.”

That being said, I thought it might be fun –and I invite you all to play along in the comments– to actually CREATE a Plumcake costume using the sales this week.  Create your own costume in the comments field, just don’t worry if it takes a few minutes to post. It might get caught in the pending filter.

First up are these Original Ray Ban Wayfarers in dark tortoise shell, on sale at Lord and Taylor using code FRIENDS to take 25% off your entire purchase. I never leave my house without my torties, which are just as cool as the traditional black ones but a bit more sophisticated.

These are timeless timeless timeless and perfect for either sex, so if your father is still wearing those tragiculous Blu-Blockers, why not buy him a pair of Wayfarers?  He’ll look like  an Italian movie star (white loafers not included.)

And if I’m never without my Wayfarers I’m never ever without my Hermes scarf. In fact, you could probably execute a fairly reputable Plumcake costume with just the scarf and the sunnies, plus a pair of vintage clip ons.

Pictured here is my absolute favorite foulard from my not-inconsiderable collection. It’s called Les Rivieres de Babel and although I have it in the aqua, there is precisely ONE of these available for purchase  from Potero (on sale too, it is to weep), so get it quick. It’s the only scarf I’ve ever paid a premium for and the photos simply do NOT do it justice. So pretty. So SO pretty.  When a woman d’une certain age showed up fresh off the plane from Paris with it wrapped around her neck, I fell in love and proceeded to hairlip hell until I located one and purchased it with much whimpering of bank account and a month of meal planning that involved the phrase “beans and toast” more often that I typically find ideal.  And you know what? Worth. Every. Penny.

And of course one good turn of Hermes deserves another: the Hermes Bolide in brown box calf.  Again, there’s only one of them, but it’s at 63% off retail and in great condition. Of course as with all Hermes bags, it is entitled to the legendary spa, where loved bags are buffed, primped and polished back to new. Now in the spirit of full disclosure: I don’t own a Bolide, I have a Birkin which I received as a break up gift (sorta) and have used exactly once, but for all the folderol over the Birkin being il handbag di tutti handbags, I’d kinda rather have the Bolide.

Moving from the screamingly expensive to the cheap and cheerful, I mentioned earlier you could compose a pretty decent Plumcake costume with just the scarf, sunglasses and a pair of vintage clip on earrings.

I couldn’t tell you how many pairs of vintage earbobs I own. Hundreds probably. I might even know where a few of them are (I always carry some sparklies in my purse in case I need to put them on in a flash, and usually a few pair at the office, in the car…wherever)

It is a shameful truth that, like snails leave slime and skunks leave stink, I leave a trail of  earrings wherever I roam.  I’ve tried to fix it, but to no avail. I almost always find them again eventually, but in case I don’t, I really hate to invest too much.

I’m a sucker for figural earrings, or something with a little hint of whimsy, like these floral ear clips on clearance from La Vintage, which will set you back a measly 17 smackaroos.

These little darlings measure about 3/4″ and are just about exactly what I go for in an earring. Casual but still a little sparkly, charming but not cutesy and pretty enough to draw light but not so spectacular as to draw attention away from my face.

If you’re not in the habit of wearing earrings, give it a shot.  I have pierced ears but only wear clip-ons, so I can pull them off or put them on at a moment’s notice.  Also, you should always ALWAYS wear earrings when trying on clothing  (nothing dangly, please). You’ll be amazed on how much more put together you’ll look, just with a simple pair of bobs.

More fabulousness after the jump, clicky click!
(more…)

You know, when I think of the Wall Street Journal, I don’t usually make the mental leap straight to fashion advice or lingerie. I’m betting it’s not the first thing that leaps into your mind, either.

Nevertheless, check out this fabulous visual guide to how a good bra should fit and function. The model used is a 32D Prima Donna bra that I may actually covet. Have I checked to see if it comes in my size? Of course not. I’m too used to disappointment when the pretty bras just don’t come in a 40 band or bigger.

Speaking of which, I really, really, really hate the fact that nearly every bra that comes in my band size and isn’t from the Cacique line which usually features straps that are far too prone to fall off my extremely narrow shoulders, comes only in white, beige, or black. There are some exceptions, of course. I’ve got a couple of Bali bras that I found in blue, and I’ve seen some very pretty browns. Sometimes pink is available, which is great for those who do pink. Playtex has a plus line that comes in lots of pretty colors and even a few prints.

But if a bra comes in ‘normal’ sizes and ‘plus’ sizes, chances are the pretty runs out at a 36 or 38 band. Find a bra that comes in leopard print and bright red and emerald green and royal blue, and I can pretty much guarantee that those colors will disappear as soon as you cross the dreaded 38 line, if not before.

Hey bra manufacturers? Guess what? A 40 band or larger does not stop us from having sexy times with people who might enjoy seeing pretties. A 40 or larger band does not stop us from finding pretty bras fun even when nobody else will ever see them, just because. Make a bra that supports a rack of doom and allows the wearer to feel just a tidge frivolous, and I’m betting it will sell… especially if you can manage to sell it for less than a hundred smackers a pop.

Just a thought.

This morning I was toodling my way up Austin’s famed South Congress Avenue, home to such beloved Austin institutions as The Continental Club, Austin Motel –one of the last great rock ‘n’ roll hotels, it’s affectionately known as “The Balls Out Inn” for reasons I cannot possibly fathom –  the world’s largest urban bat colony, and well…me.

And I was struck by a sign.

Well, not literally, but I was briefly taken aback by a sign for what I can only assume is a local adult novelty shop.

Right there, on a billboard in a yellow babydoll of questionable taste was an unquestionably plus-sized model posing alluringly under the headline Xtra Xtra Sexy.

And that’s…good. Right?

On one hand, I’m glad that a store pretty much built around sex and sexy things feels confident in the sex-selling potential of a plus-size woman.  Plus, since it’s advertising TO big girls and their partners without fetishizing their size (i.e., big women are ravenous for sex and food and everything else)  there’s something positive about treating the 14-plus set the same boring phoned-in way that straight sized women are.

On the other, I don’t really ever want to see ANYONE towering twelve stories above me all nips akimbo on my drive in to work.  What do you think?

Oh my GOSH you guys, I can’t believe ANYONE would think ABC  could POSSIBLY be setting a double standard by refusing to run Lane Bryant’s new lingerie commercial –citing “excessive cleavage”– during Dancing With the Stars!

It’s so simple!

THIS is okay:

THIS is not:

I mean DUH.

Not convinced? Fine, let’s have another example.

This is obviously totally appropriate family viewing:

THIS is like forcing your nana to make out with Bin Laden:

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE… (more…)

Happy, happy Thanksgiving!

Today we are pricing down, to Fashion Bug, which  sells Misses and Plus size casual-wear and lingerie. At the top of the home page, you can opt to shop according to size, including 16-34, 16-32 short (they couldn’t call it petite? Whatever.), and 16-32 long. (Warning: Short and Long selections are limited.) (Misses sizes start at 6). Their sale page is here.

Today they are having the Thanksgiving Day sale, online only, on all their Fall clothing here.

YES

Francesca had a hard time with the “Yesses” and “Maybes” because her personal idea of “casual” is “suede jacket with boot-cut jeans.” So let us get it out of the way: If you are looking for your basic turtlenecks (on sale today for $6 apiece), polo shirts, jeans, panties, and the like, this is a good place to go. It is a good value for the price.

And now for the slightly more Francesca-esque items. Click for outfit suggestions and/or purchase info:

NO

MAYBE

This weekend, Francesca reminds you to:

Perform a breast self-exam.

Test your fire alarms.

Replace your toothbrush.

Rotate your mattress.

Happy weekend. xoxo