Manolo for the Big Girl

Oh Miuccia. Oh no. Please no. I expect this from Karl, but from you? I just…I expected better.

This really hurts.

I know you tend to use REALLY thin, REALLY young girls for your shows, but it never really bothered me. You’ve always been more about the cerebral side of fashion which apparently has no room for breasts and hips. Fine, whatever. It didn’t bother me because most of the stuff that actually goes into production, is pretty wearable for most body shapes (I said wearable, not available) so –as I’ve said before– whatever.

But now this?

Well, Prada signed on to do the costumes for the New York Metropolitan Opera’s upcoming production of Verdi’s Attila but I guess she’s never been to an opera in her life because she took one look at the extras  and said “I cannot clothe them! I need models!”

Really Miu? Really? Did you REALLY think an OPERA COMPANY would not have FAT PEOPLE?

Now to be fair, from the stories I’ve read she was talking about supernumeraries –or “supers” as they’re known in the biz– who are non-speaking, non-singing performers. Their job is to fill stage space and lend visual believability to the opera by filling crowd scenes when the chorus just won’t do. They’re the extras of the opera and ballet world and the Met supers are legendary. Unfortunately, they don’t look like models, so they were fired.

The Met had to recast because “casting is at the discretion of the creative team. Due to a change in concept, the Met is in the process of recasting.”

Nice.

So now my question is semantics in the sentence “I cannot clothe them” (emphasis mine).

Either Miuccia Prada is incapable of designing for normal body shapes which means she never should’ve graduated design school much less been lauded as a post-couture genius and we’ve all been seeing the Empress’ New Clothes for the past two decades  OR she just refused to clothe people who weren’t her ideal sample size and let people lose their jobs because of it.

Now,  I’ve seen and loved collection after collection of beautifully inspired and executed pieces that manage to be new and classic, post-post-modern and timeless at all once so I can’t help but think Prada possesses the skill and capability to design for any shape she damn well pleases, which just means one thing:

she refused to design clothes for people who weren’t models. She put people WHOSE JOB IS TO LOOK NORMAL out of a job because…wait for it…THEY LOOKED NORMAL.

It pains me to say it –really it truly, truly does– but Miuccia not only will you never get another penny from me but you can sit right next to Karl and Calvin on the naughty step. It hurts me more than it hurts you, but suck it, Miuccia Prada, and your goofy mitre too.

There is so much going on that Francesca must write 3 separate posts. So use the following information, but save some of your monies for tomorrow and the weekend!

Talbots is having events TONIGHT at participating stores from 6-8 pm (check to see  whether your nearest carries Woman and/or Woman Petite sizes). During the event, all purchases are 20% off.  Also, note their new markdowns (click on the side for W and WP sizes). They have many excellent skirts at deep discount.

Ashley Stewart is having a clearance sale on tees and tanks, and has taken 25% off all outerwear.

Catherine’s has taken 50% off coats (TODAY only), and marked down holiday attire 30-40%.

Coldwater Creek has moved 200 new items to Outlet and announced new holiday items. Also, through November 22, use code WKH2327 for $30 off a purchase of $100 or more.  Francesca knows that CC has a reputation for having fuddy-duddy clothing, but the truth is, if you look around with an open mind, you can find good separates that you can mix with your more bold fashion pieces, spice up with accessories, etc. Sizes run to 3x.

Evans has posted their Christmas catalogue.

Nordstrom is having a clearance sale. Click here to go straight to plus-size apparel. Through December 22, free shipping on online orders of $100 or more with code HOLIDAY09.

Saks Fifth Avenue is having a sale you might enjoy (starts online today, in stores tomorrow; plus size apparel here), and also a new Prada collection. Free shipping on orders of $150 or more, through Sunday, with code SHIPFALL9. Francesca’s pick.

Zaftique’s clearance sale is still going on, through November 16!

Happy shopping, and come back tomorrow for more!

As an homage to the Greatest Meal Ever AND as a holla (is that right? Did I do it right?)  to all my size 11 sisters, we’re wrapping up this week’s Daily Kicks with shoes currently available ONLY in size 11

Lanvin plum and silver t-straps. 60% off.

Balenciaga bright florals. Because sometimes LOUD is GOOD.

Perfect Chloe flats

 Ballet pink Prada slingbacks, Flawless.

Overstitched Sergio Rossi heels. Strange, but alluring.

There are phases of a Fashionista’s development. There’s the time you’re SO EXCITED to get your First! Coach! Bag! and then the time you realize you wouldn’t carry a Coach bag if it came with cash, blow and unlimited access to a 22 year-old cabana boy named Luis. You go from getting it wrong most of the time, to getting it right EVERY time and finally, you get to the point where you don’t give a flying spead-leggéd squirrel WHAT people think because even if only “fashion people” get it, you know –in fashion as in life– there is life beyond the prettydome.

(hahahahahaha no.)

I am a classicist. I’ve always BEEN a classicist. Maybe it’s because my grandparents raised me or maybe it’s because I watched too many old movies, but aside from a brief period of experimentation in my teens –I recall the day I went to school in a pair of cuffed denim shorts, velvet heels, black hose, one of those odious “big shirts” in a particularly lurid shade of magenta and a big velvet top hat because I knew, KNEW someday I was going to marry Slash from Guns n’ Roses and this was my “in”– I’ve been consistently conservative, well-cut and right. Not exciting, but right.

Anyhoodle, the trouble with being a classicist is getting into a rut.

Cobalt blue dress –of which I have three, hello rut!– means blush or mocha snakeskin pumps. Sure I’ll put out when the bishop comes to visit (uh, as it were) and maybe pair it with my sequined tiger Manolos.

And then the other day I unearthed a pair of yellow silk satin Lola Cruz heels I’d bought ages ago and never worn–they’re the origami mule variation of the ones below which I don’t like as much but is on HUGE sale at Yoox–

I won’t say it was a whole new ballgame, there’s still nothing more classic than a silk mule (in fact, I don’t generally approve of mules in anything but silk) but it pushed my envelope a little, and that was good for me.

So I challenge you to push YOUR fashion envelope a little. A great place to start would be at YOOX.COM’s 90% off Sample Sale, which runs now through Sunday.

Some unusual shoes from the 08 Fall/Winter collections that are tickling my fancy:

*Get your minds out of the gutter.

It’s a slow Friday.

I’ve already listened to all my interesting podcasts, I can’t be buggered to pick a fight with anyone fun, I’ve got cramps (which, despite my historically anti-candy status, would explain why I woke out of a dead sleep last night willing to barter my kingdom for a stale York Peppermint Pattie) and my feet hurt even though I’m wearing my Perfect! New! Miu Miu! Flats! (they only have the grey left, but mine are the most awesome raven’s wing blueblack with black patent cap and banding. FYI: they run nice and wide.) that I bought SPECIFICALLY so my feet won’t hurt.

Grrr.

Anyway, I’ve just been sitting around being Disgruntled At Things for the past few hours, but this one is stuck in my craw. I don’t even know what a craw is or where mine be located. I DO know that I don’t pay to have it waxed and that means I don’t want anything in stuck there.

ANYWAY.  Shoe trees. Why are they shoe TREES? This is not a TREE:

THIS is a shoe TREE:

See? Subtle but distinct difference.

Hello and happy, happy Tuesday!

Francesca has lots of news for you today!

Monif C. is hosting a “Curvy Girls at Sea” cruise to Bermuda! If you are interested in travelling with other superfantastic Girls of Generous Size, go here for details.

In other Monif C news, they have brought back the fabulous Ashantia mini dress, which Francesca knows you will rock with a pair of jeans or dress pants and superfantastic heels. Note: this dress is available only through February 6.

Saks Fifth Avenue has a large selection of Prada shoes and handbags. Mmmm…and you get free shipping on all orders, through Wednesday, with code VDAYSHIP9. 

Silhouettes will take 20% off your Shop Silhouettes and purchase if you use code S9SA08 at checkout. Also, use code S9SAH2 for free shipping on orders of $100 or more. Both codes end today.

Lane Bryant is offering a nice “gift cheque,” valid through February 3. Click here to print one to use in stores, or use code 050005895 at checkout when shopping online. Francesca notices that they have many very nice items on their clearance page, as well as in their New Arrivals. Good time to shop LB. APPLES: Dress up this pinstripe vest with superfantastic jewelry for a professional, smooth look!

Igigi will take $20 off your purchase of $150 or more with code “celebrate150″; $30 off your purchase of $250 or more with code “celebrate250″; and $50 off your purchase of $350 with code “celebrate350.” Ends tomorrow. Francesca likes their new Charlotte wraparound lace top.

Alight has added new items to their wares, very nice for the younger Big Girl. Francesca is into this peace scarf, available in an array of colors.

J.Jill has taken $10 off their new pants, available in women’s sizes. Ends today.

Coldwater Creek just started a clearance sale.

Woman Within will take 50% off your lowest-priced item if you use code WW29986 at checkout. Note that this code can be used once per purchase, so if you want, say, 4 items, split it into 2 purchases and use the code twice (but first do a cost analysis against possible increased shipping fees.)

Happy shopping!

xoxo

“Poodle, I know how Your People love the use of the word ‘fierce’ but I’m not really sure you can technically apply it to the technique with which you just saran-wrapped day-old blueberry muffins.” and of course my friend agreed. He just hadn’t had the chance to use that word all day and felt he was depriving himself.
Of course there’s no need to deprive yourself (oooh, smooooth!) of these fierce handbags from Forzieri, which are all classic, on enormous sale AND –you guessed it– FIERCE.
Julia Cocco Degrade’ Patent Eco-leather Clutch

I love this little clutch, and it’s perfect for those of us who found the Prada degrade clutch of a few seasons back a little too big. Also comes in a fantastic tiger’s eye brown degrade and an amazing orchid for spring that is very Dolce to me.

Forzieri Croco stamped red patent leather tote, made in Italy.

Have we established that I’m a sucker for red crocodile? I love love love love LOVE it and once my first really rich husband dies, I’m going to have the walls of my study done entirely in red crocodile.

Forzieri Italian leather hobo

I’m not a hobo girl, I like a structured bag, but strangely I actually like this one. It’s more downtown and Barney’s than uptown and Bergdorf’s, but it also reminds me very strongly of The English Patient. I could totally see Kristin Scott Thomas carrying this bag through the desert looking fabulous and proper and winsome and adventurous, can’t you?

Why is there so much bad taste in the world? More importantly, why does it all seem to parade past me on cheap all-synthetic heels? The delightful Style Spy and I were out at Chez Nous –a lovely little jewel of a French bistro– the other night to celebrate her anniversaire. She was in Fendi and Miu Miu. I was in a bespoke black dress with the glammiest vintage Balenciaga chandelier earrings in the world (or at least my jewelry box which to my mind is more or less the same thing) and the peep-toed version of these, which are on sale at Zappos for infuriatingly less than I paid for them a few months ago:

(srsly, you will love these; they’re easy to walk in and the heel is the most beautiful burnished lacquered wood, your feets will smile.)

After our dinner we walked to a theoretically posh hotel bar for a little after-dinner cocktail action.

Oh honey, there was so much heartache happening in this bar. It was one giant festival of No. You know how in Unzipped, Polly Mellon warns Isaac Mizrahi that “too short looks long”? Yeah, well sometimes too short looks too short.

I blame the banded/bubbled mini dress.

How? How do people think this is a good idea?! Because it’s really, really not. Remember that unfortunate gold lamé toreador outfit I had with the bugle-beaded capris? It’s THAT LEVEL OF BAD IDEA.

Because even though what you SEE are two relatively-cute, relatively plus-sized models, what you will BECOME the second you put one of these horrific bastards on your delicate person is THIS:

and I don’t give one hot-buttered hoot what Ministry says; not every day is Halloween.