There are phases of a Fashionista’s development. There’s the time you’re SO EXCITED to get your First! Coach! Bag! and then the time you realize you wouldn’t carry a Coach bag if it came with cash, blow and unlimited access to a 22 year-old cabana boy named Luis. You go from getting it wrong most of the time, to getting it right EVERY time and finally, you get to the point where you don’t give a flying spead-leggéd squirrel WHAT people think because even if only “fashion people” get it, you know –in fashion as in life– there is life beyond the prettydome.

(hahahahahaha no.)

I am a classicist. I’ve always BEEN a classicist. Maybe it’s because my grandparents raised me or maybe it’s because I watched too many old movies, but aside from a brief period of experimentation in my teens –I recall the day I went to school in a pair of cuffed denim shorts, velvet heels, black hose, one of those odious “big shirts” in a particularly lurid shade of magenta and a big velvet top hat because I knew, KNEW someday I was going to marry Slash from Guns n’ Roses and this was my “in”– I’ve been consistently conservative, well-cut and right. Not exciting, but right.

Anyhoodle, the trouble with being a classicist is getting into a rut.

Cobalt blue dress –of which I have three, hello rut!– means blush or mocha snakeskin pumps. Sure I’ll put out when the bishop comes to visit (uh, as it were) and maybe pair it with my sequined tiger Manolos.

And then the other day I unearthed a pair of yellow silk satin Lola Cruz heels I’d bought ages ago and never worn–they’re the origami mule variation of the ones below which I don’t like as much but is on HUGE sale at Yoox–

I won’t say it was a whole new ballgame, there’s still nothing more classic than a silk mule (in fact, I don’t generally approve of mules in anything but silk) but it pushed my envelope a little, and that was good for me.

So I challenge you to push YOUR fashion envelope a little. A great place to start would be at YOOX.COM’s 90% off Sample Sale, which runs now through Sunday.

Some unusual shoes from the 08 Fall/Winter collections that are tickling my fancy:

*Get your minds out of the gutter.

It’s a slow Friday.

I’ve already listened to all my interesting podcasts, I can’t be buggered to pick a fight with anyone fun, I’ve got cramps (which, despite my historically anti-candy status, would explain why I woke out of a dead sleep last night willing to barter my kingdom for a stale York Peppermint Pattie) and my feet hurt even though I’m wearing my Perfect! New! Miu Miu! Flats! (they only have the grey left, but mine are the most awesome raven’s wing blueblack with black patent cap and banding. FYI: they run nice and wide.) that I bought SPECIFICALLY so my feet won’t hurt.

Grrr.

Anyway, I’ve just been sitting around being Disgruntled At Things for the past few hours, but this one is stuck in my craw. I don’t even know what a craw is or where mine be located. I DO know that I don’t pay to have it waxed and that means I don’t want anything in stuck there.

ANYWAY.  Shoe trees. Why are they shoe TREES? This is not a TREE:

THIS is a shoe TREE:

See? Subtle but distinct difference.

Hello and happy, happy Tuesday!

Francesca has lots of news for you today!

Monif C. is hosting a “Curvy Girls at Sea” cruise to Bermuda! If you are interested in travelling with other superfantastic Girls of Generous Size, go here for details.

In other Monif C news, they have brought back the fabulous Ashantia mini dress, which Francesca knows you will rock with a pair of jeans or dress pants and superfantastic heels. Note: this dress is available only through February 6.

Saks Fifth Avenue has a large selection of Prada shoes and handbags. Mmmm…and you get free shipping on all orders, through Wednesday, with code VDAYSHIP9. 

Silhouettes will take 20% off your Shop Silhouettes and purchase if you use code S9SA08 at checkout. Also, use code S9SAH2 for free shipping on orders of $100 or more. Both codes end today.

Lane Bryant is offering a nice “gift cheque,” valid through February 3. Click here to print one to use in stores, or use code 050005895 at checkout when shopping online. Francesca notices that they have many very nice items on their clearance page, as well as in their New Arrivals. Good time to shop LB. APPLES: Dress up this pinstripe vest with superfantastic jewelry for a professional, smooth look!

Igigi will take $20 off your purchase of $150 or more with code “celebrate150″; $30 off your purchase of $250 or more with code “celebrate250″; and $50 off your purchase of $350 with code “celebrate350.” Ends tomorrow. Francesca likes their new Charlotte wraparound lace top.

Alight has added new items to their wares, very nice for the younger Big Girl. Francesca is into this peace scarf, available in an array of colors.

J.Jill has taken $10 off their new pants, available in women’s sizes. Ends today.

Coldwater Creek just started a clearance sale.

Woman Within will take 50% off your lowest-priced item if you use code WW29986 at checkout. Note that this code can be used once per purchase, so if you want, say, 4 items, split it into 2 purchases and use the code twice (but first do a cost analysis against possible increased shipping fees.)

Happy shopping!

xoxo

“Poodle, I know how Your People love the use of the word ‘fierce’ but I’m not really sure you can technically apply it to the technique with which you just saran-wrapped day-old blueberry muffins.” and of course my friend agreed. He just hadn’t had the chance to use that word all day and felt he was depriving himself.
Of course there’s no need to deprive yourself (oooh, smooooth!) of these fierce handbags from Forzieri, which are all classic, on enormous sale AND –you guessed it– FIERCE.
Julia Cocco Degrade’ Patent Eco-leather Clutch

I love this little clutch, and it’s perfect for those of us who found the Prada degrade clutch of a few seasons back a little too big. Also comes in a fantastic tiger’s eye brown degrade and an amazing orchid for spring that is very Dolce to me.

Forzieri Croco stamped red patent leather tote, made in Italy.

Have we established that I’m a sucker for red crocodile? I love love love love LOVE it and once my first really rich husband dies, I’m going to have the walls of my study done entirely in red crocodile.

Forzieri Italian leather hobo

I’m not a hobo girl, I like a structured bag, but strangely I actually like this one. It’s more downtown and Barney’s than uptown and Bergdorf’s, but it also reminds me very strongly of The English Patient. I could totally see Kristin Scott Thomas carrying this bag through the desert looking fabulous and proper and winsome and adventurous, can’t you?

Why is there so much bad taste in the world? More importantly, why does it all seem to parade past me on cheap all-synthetic heels? The delightful Style Spy and I were out at Chez Nous –a lovely little jewel of a French bistro– the other night to celebrate her anniversaire. She was in Fendi and Miu Miu. I was in a bespoke black dress with the glammiest vintage Balenciaga chandelier earrings in the world (or at least my jewelry box which to my mind is more or less the same thing) and the peep-toed version of these, which are on sale at Zappos for infuriatingly less than I paid for them a few months ago:

(srsly, you will love these; they’re easy to walk in and the heel is the most beautiful burnished lacquered wood, your feets will smile.)

After our dinner we walked to a theoretically posh hotel bar for a little after-dinner cocktail action.

Oh honey, there was so much heartache happening in this bar. It was one giant festival of No. You know how in Unzipped, Polly Mellon warns Isaac Mizrahi that “too short looks long”? Yeah, well sometimes too short looks too short.

I blame the banded/bubbled mini dress.

How? How do people think this is a good idea?! Because it’s really, really not. Remember that unfortunate gold lamé toreador outfit I had with the bugle-beaded capris? It’s THAT LEVEL OF BAD IDEA.

Because even though what you SEE are two relatively-cute, relatively plus-sized models, what you will BECOME the second you put one of these horrific bastards on your delicate person is THIS:

and I don’t give one hot-buttered hoot what Ministry says; not every day is Halloween.

I can’t remember where I read it –I think it was a British Vogue interview with Daphne Guinness– who moaned she always wanted to be “Downtown and Barney’s” but knew in her heart that she was “Uptown and Berdgorf’s” and I can totally get that. Barney’s is downtown and urban cool; I am neither so I rarely browse the virtual racks. When I do, however, I’m always astonished by their sales including these three darlings (including one that is practical! Sort of!)

Can I even tell you how much I love Lanvin? I love Lanvin like a debutante loves Valtrex. I’ve loved it historically –it’s the oldest French fashion house still in operation– and I LOVE it now that my cuddlywuddly couturier Alber Elbaz is at the helm.

(awww.)

But what I love MOST is how Lanvin can take a one-or-two season wonder like gladiator sandals and turn them into a wearable staple. I am thisclose to breaking my no-buy for these. They’re on sale, too!

You know how sometimes you love something so much that even though you KNOW it will end in heartache and maybe a rebound haircut (Bangs! I need BANGS!) you do it anyway? Witness these Martin Margiela silk-covered platform wedges. Aren’t they just dreamy? Oh sure I’d have to be carried on a sedan by more strapping men than I care to imagine but I heart them. And considering that Louboutin and Dolce have both done similarly shirred silk shoes (say that fast!) and these, on sale, are about a third as expensive as either of those…well, it makes a girl think.

And finally we have some Miu Miu. I think I’ve pretty clearly established myself as the world’s biggest Miuccia Prada apologist, but even for me the jockey silks of her last collection for Miu Miu left me as cold as her empire of evil lace for Prada made me hot. I make it a rule never to buy fabric shoes at retail, but now that these shapely sweeties have dipped to just a hair over $200, it might be time to splurge.

Happy Friday everybody!

Do you love this? I think I love this, and it’s at the Avenue of all places!

It’s a little Balenciaga, a little mod, a little Surly Model In The Addicted To Love Video (y’all remember that right? I only ask because I was at a café the other day, and because I’m an insufferable pedant I had to tell the cute little girl behind the counter that tomatoe wasn’t the traditionally preferred spelling for that particular bit of fruit. As she erased it from the chalkboard menu the cook looked over and asked her “Who are you? Dan Quayle?” and the little waitress –I swear– said “who?” I think I nearly grew a goiter.)

Anyhoodle, back to the dress. It’s good. A little short, but not too much and it would be good with tights and a really out there shoe. You wouldn’t want to go too ladylike, there is a time a place for delicate shell pink Valentino demibow d’orsays (and when you are older I will tell you a very good story about those Valentinos and a Scottish fireman that I haven’t even told my friends yet); you need a big shoe to balance those big shoulders.

In fact, if you’re a fashion-forward sort of gal, this would totally be the time to break out your thick-heeled Marc Jacobs or Miu Mius from last year, although a Marni sandal (like the ones here ) could be fun too in an Edie S sort of way.

Oh speaking of the Edies (this time Little Edie), I finally and found a jeweled turban I can actually wear! Can I just TELL you how fab it is? It is so SO fab. I’ve been dying to be able to carry off a turban for years and now with this little vintage chiffon number (not quite the Prada, but what are you gonna do?) I totally can.

So I think it comes as no surprise to anyone that I spent the evening traipsing around my apartment in my new turban, long drippy Balenciaga chandelier earrings and olive gloves admiring myself in the mirror and yelling “I’m your Auntie Mame!” to my infinitely unimpressed dog.

That’s normal, right?

 EDIT: Our friend Style Spy just sent me an email asking if this Trina Turk dress “looks familiar.”   Is “Muse” (the designer responsible for the Avenue dress) a flanker of Trina Turk’s design house or is The Avenue indulging in a little knock off action? HMMM.