Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

September 25, 2010

Maybe They Have Bat Ears

Filed under: Music,Random Annoyances — Twistie @ 11:20 am

There’s a nice coffee house about two blocks from my house. It’s a pleasant, relaxed place to get a good cup of coffee or tea and a decent snack (everything from dainty madelines to hearty sandwiches, and an all-you-can-eat buffet on friday nights). Several clubs and organizations meet there regularly to discuss things like organic gardening, knitting, etc. In short, it’s a great neighborhood hangout.

They also have live music. Last night, the act on the bill was Oak Ash and Thorn. I’ll give you a moment to go check out their website. Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you get back.

Familiar with the concept, now? Good. And for those who didn’t check the website, all you really need to know is that this is three guys who sing English folk songs (mostly about beer) a cappella. The only instrument they have with them on stage is a soprano recorder much like this:
which they use more or less as a pitch pipe.

There was a sound system, yes. Three microphones, one for each member of the band, but they were only turned up high enough that the songs could be heard in the back row of a room that holds, maybe a hundred people when it’s crowded. It was low enough that if you were in the way back of the other room ordering a coffee, you could hear that there was music but the words weren’t clear.

And yet someone called the cops because of the noise.


When Mr. Twistie’s rock band played there two months ago – and four months ago – nobody called the cops. That’s for a four man electric rock band with a pretty darn loud sound system.

Nobody called a few weeks ago when Avalon Rising (five members, much louder sound system, electric guitar and bass) was there playing their special brand of souped-up Celtoid music mixed with Jethro Tull covers.

But we were there when the police arrived because Oak Ash and Thorn singing The Wind and the Rain from Twelfth Night were too loud.

The mind boggles.

That is all.

Oh, except for this: support your local music venue! Good live music is not a nuisance.

September 19, 2010

The More Things Change, the More They Stay Panicky About Weight

Filed under: Media,Random Annoyances — Twistie @ 8:30 am

As I’ve mentioned before, Mr. Twistie always finds interesting things at flea markets. A couple weeks ago, he found an issue of the Ladies’ Home Journal from 1961. There were several articles in it he wanted to take a look at, but as soon as he got it home he handed it off to me so that I could take a look at the article about how three Hollywood stars – Janet Leigh, Jack Lemmon, and Natalie Wood – manage to stay so slim.

I thought in light of Plummy’s recent call for your stories of fad dieting, some of you might be interested in a couple quotes. For those of you who may have been dealing with an ED, be aware that some quotes may well be triggering and proceed with caution, if at all.

September 9, 2010

That’s Pants!

Filed under: Abominations,Fashion,Honey. No.,Random Annoyances — raincoaster @ 7:47 am

and that’s British slang for “that is, like, major suckitude!”

Here I was, all ready to present to you a multi-faceted, multi-pictured, multi-product post that would, if not gain widespread acclaim would at least cause a few snarky comments and YAY! Pageview bonus! and WordPress went and ate it.

In its place, we bring you the following observation: that shopping online for pants is … pants. Because all pants look exactly alike online:

Exhibit A: $698 Zenobia Slim Crepe Pants from Saks:


Exhibit B: $178 Eileen Fisher Stretch Crepe Pants, also from Saks:


Well, okay, these look different, but we don’t have to discuss them, do we?


August 21, 2010

Waiting for the Electrician, Or Someone Like Him

Filed under: Random Annoyances — Twistie @ 11:28 am

Yes, I’m a longtime fan of Firesign Theater. How could I not love a group that poses the musical question How Can You Be In Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere At All?


This has been a somewhat flappy week at Casa Twistie what with discovering we lived in a more than average potential firetrap. Yes, you read that correctly.

You see, we live in the house that Mr. Twistie grew up in. His family moved here in nineteensiftymumble. The house is actually one of the three oldest on the street. They were built to identical plans as rental properties in 1889. Over the years, there have been a lot of upgrades, improvements (you know, like indoor plumbing and stuff like that). Only one house retains its original footprint intact, and all three are now painted entirely differently.

The problem arises because the last person to own this house before Mr. Twistie’s family was a dry wall contractor who thought that made him competent to do any sort of contracting out there, including electrical.

He wasn’t.

As it happens, my kitchen is actually in his additions to the house. A few days ago, I hit one of the switches in the room and lo and behold, I got a HUGE scary spark out of said switch.

This not being how switches are supposed to work, I turned the switch off again and called Mr. Twistie to inform him that that I was calling the electrician. Oh, and to bring dinner home with him because I was NOT cooking in that room until this was sorted out.

Friends, it turns out that my kitchen has been an electrical deathtrap for at least the past forty years and change! Much of the wiring is substandard for more like eighty years ago, and some really, really basic safety precautions were cavalierly ignored back when Mr. Drywall-Contractor decided to wire his own kitchen up.

Who needs a box behind a switch? It’s so much easier and cheaper to simply leave the wires hanging against bare wood! Oh, and let’s thread the wires through the cabinets hanging limply down so that future families will store their pots and pans with the long handles right up against them! After all, Mr. Twistie’s family had lived here for decades. Why would I get down on my knees to see whether there were inadequately insulated wires liberally festooning the back wall of that cupboard I would have to virtually kowtow to see all the way in?

We spent three days getting to know our electrician and his crew much better than we ever expected to do. We will probably spend the next couple of days pulling of switchplates in the parts of the house created by the old owner to see if there is more fiery death lurking in our very sockets.

The good news? I can now use my kitchen again. In fact, being able to cook without sending the house up in flames may be an early birthday present to me… but probably not.

After all, I just got a flyer from the Le Creuset outlet….

August 8, 2010

No, I Don’t Think That’s Why I’m Fat

Filed under: Food,Random Annoyances — Twistie @ 12:12 pm

I don’t know how many of you have run across the site This Is Why You’re Fat in your travels around the internet, but I was mercifully unaware until this morning.

To save you the trouble of looking, it’s just picture after picture of extreme high-calorie foods, many dripping in grease. Some of these pictures do have a certain hypnotic quality to them in terms of ‘really? someone put those things together?’. Birthday Spam and Sushi, I’m looking at you.

The thing is, I’ve seen some of these foods before, though not many (and I admit I would totally try the Potato Tornado, which is a spiral cut potato deep fried on a skewer dusted with ‘tangy cheese powder’), and I’ve never actually eaten one of them. Nope, not the Krispy Kreme cheeseburger, not the six-layer chocolate ice cream cake ‘frosted’ in whipped cream and doused in caramel sauce, not the funnel cake the size of Kalamazoo… not one of them. Definitely not the Turbaconduckenriblets. That’s just… oh dear.

Most of the time I eat a pretty balanced diet, rich in fresh vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains. Why? Because that’s what I enjoy eating. I was the kid who always requested spinach and fish on her birthday as a kid. If I’m going to go for a dessert, I usually want it not to be oversweet, and I want a nice texture. I’m not above junk food, but it’s not an everyday thing for me, and I still have my foodie standards. I will willingly go without rather than eat something that makes me slightly queasy when I look at it.

In fact, pretty much the only person I know who would eat more than two things on that site on a dare happens to be very thin. I’m certainly not saying that nobody who is fat would eat any of those things (Oh, Potato Tornado, I must resist your siren song until I find a source!). I’m just saying that fat isn’t all about food.

There’s genetics, activity level, medications and/or illnesses, history of dieting, and a dozen other factors.

So no, that’s not why I’m fat. It’s not the only reason anyone is fat.

July 25, 2010

Since WordPress Finally Let Me In…

Filed under: Random Annoyances — Twistie @ 11:12 am

… I’m going to mention something that’s been honking me off for months now in a tiny, mosquito-whine kind of way.

Honestly, I’ve never paid attention to what brand it is, but the commercial for a hair dye talks about how fast and easy it is to use. The model exclaims: “Ten minutes! I take longer to get into a pair of skinny jeans!”

Honey, if it takes you longer to get into your jeans than it does to cover your premature greys, YOUR JEANS DON’T FREAKING FIT! GET A NEW PAIR!

That is all.

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