Show of hands, anyone here surprised that I hate bridal flip flops?

Anyone?

Good. I’d hate to think any of my beloved readers have recently suffered a head injury so traumatic that would result in confusing me with someone who would ever approve of the chlamydia of casual footwear.

I don’t like or trust flip flops in the best of situations and I certainly don’t care for them as bridal wear. However I do understand a bride’s desire to have some comfortable footwear on the day she  screws me out of half a Kitchenaid mixer commits herself to wedded bliss.

What I don’t understand is why they would go for something so vulgar when for not much more in the way of pocket change when we’re talking wedding money ($79), they could have a darling little lyrical slipper like this, from ASH.

Because really, how sweet is that? It comes in several additional colors –a slate gray, pine, and black– but these are just so winsome without being twee.

Plus you won’t look back in 20 years and cringe at the sight of your white foam rubber platform flippies, and that is worth any price.

One of my all time favorite films is Baby Doll, starring Carroll Baker in the title roll with Karl Malden as her husband in an as-yet-unconsummated marriage and Eli Wallach as Silva, the Sicilian manager of the cotton mill that –having put most of the cotton millers out of work– has recently burned to the ground.  It’s brilliant stew of Southern Gothic swamp and sex like only Tennessee Williams could write and only Elia Kazan could direct.  It also has what I believe is the sexiest scene of all of film history (it was so scandalous that it was denounced by a cardinal in Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, thus guaranteeing a hit).

During a particularly tense part of the film, Silva (Eli Wallach) who may or may not have just enjoyed Baby Doll’s favors sits at the table with Baby Doll and her boorish husband, looks at her and says:

“That’s a beautiful ribbon you’re wearing Mrs Meighan. What particular shade of blue would you say that lovely ribbon is?”

“Oh, just baby blue.”

Granted, these ribbon-laced satin espadrilles (under $70 at YOOX and also available in lavender) are supposedly turquoise, not a baby blue, but they’re lovely all the same. I always like an unexpected treatment of an old classic, such as the satin pointe shoe treatment on a usually rugged espadrille.

I’m not familiar with Andrea Bernes‘ designs, but if these are anything to go by –sweet but not cutesy, innocent but not naive– I’m going to be a big fan.

So, my little dumplings, are we ready for some great ways to save on pretties this weekend? I certainly hope so, because I’m  about to lay them on you. Here we go.

Lane Bryant is having a great deal now through June 16. Spend $50.00, get a discount of $15.00. Spend more, save more. It goes up incrementally to $75.00 off any order of $225.00 or more. See here for details. The code to use at checkout? Is: 015002549. As for what to buy, you could do a heck of a lot worse than these fabulous pinstriped linen trousers. They come in Frost Grey (shown) or Neutral (a pretty soft beige), and talls and petites as well as regular length. The linen/rayon blend is machine washable for easy care superfantasticness, too. And at $59.50, they start off affordable and then qualify for the discount all on their own. Just add a crisp menswear shirt, a statement necklace or scarf, and a great pair of shoes to put together a classic Kate Hepburn vibe that will take over your world. Then again, they would look terrific with a simple tank, a great pair of sandals, and a floppy sunhat, too.

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Seriously you guys, normally when I select shoes for this feature I at least TRY to pick something at least one other person would like, but this time? Don’t. Care.

I love love love these sweet little Les Prairies de Paris flats (on sale at YOOX)  so much I want to snoozle them.  They’re totally something Shirley Maclaine would’ve worn when she was dressing down in some mid-sixties technicolor confection to illustrate how she was just a sweet, kooky naif who just wants to be loved.  AND DID I MENTION THEY’RE GREEN?

Hello my little butternuts, how’s every little thing? Yes, it’s time for your weekly humpletter featuring ten new Plumcake-approved tidbits of deliciousness, mostly on sale!

It’s actually a fairly slow week for sales thanks to the swing back from Memorial Day, so we’re doing something a little different.   One of the things I hate hate HATE is when people I know copy my personal style –which is pretty specific– just a little too closely. It’s awkward for everyone involved. I’ll never forget that day years ago when I walked into church to find some sweet but terribly misguided Young Thing wearing what can only be described as a Plumcake costume.

In the parlance of my people, “I liketa died.”

That being said, I thought it might be fun –and I invite you all to play along in the comments– to actually CREATE a Plumcake costume using the sales this week.  Create your own costume in the comments field, just don’t worry if it takes a few minutes to post. It might get caught in the pending filter.

First up are these Original Ray Ban Wayfarers in dark tortoise shell, on sale at Lord and Taylor using code FRIENDS to take 25% off your entire purchase. I never leave my house without my torties, which are just as cool as the traditional black ones but a bit more sophisticated.

These are timeless timeless timeless and perfect for either sex, so if your father is still wearing those tragiculous Blu-Blockers, why not buy him a pair of Wayfarers?  He’ll look like  an Italian movie star (white loafers not included.)

And if I’m never without my Wayfarers I’m never ever without my Hermes scarf. In fact, you could probably execute a fairly reputable Plumcake costume with just the scarf and the sunnies, plus a pair of vintage clip ons.

Pictured here is my absolute favorite foulard from my not-inconsiderable collection. It’s called Les Rivieres de Babel and although I have it in the aqua, there is precisely ONE of these available for purchase  from Potero (on sale too, it is to weep), so get it quick. It’s the only scarf I’ve ever paid a premium for and the photos simply do NOT do it justice. So pretty. So SO pretty.  When a woman d’une certain age showed up fresh off the plane from Paris with it wrapped around her neck, I fell in love and proceeded to hairlip hell until I located one and purchased it with much whimpering of bank account and a month of meal planning that involved the phrase “beans and toast” more often that I typically find ideal.  And you know what? Worth. Every. Penny.

And of course one good turn of Hermes deserves another: the Hermes Bolide in brown box calf.  Again, there’s only one of them, but it’s at 63% off retail and in great condition. Of course as with all Hermes bags, it is entitled to the legendary spa, where loved bags are buffed, primped and polished back to new. Now in the spirit of full disclosure: I don’t own a Bolide, I have a Birkin which I received as a break up gift (sorta) and have used exactly once, but for all the folderol over the Birkin being il handbag di tutti handbags, I’d kinda rather have the Bolide.

Moving from the screamingly expensive to the cheap and cheerful, I mentioned earlier you could compose a pretty decent Plumcake costume with just the scarf, sunglasses and a pair of vintage clip on earrings.

I couldn’t tell you how many pairs of vintage earbobs I own. Hundreds probably. I might even know where a few of them are (I always carry some sparklies in my purse in case I need to put them on in a flash, and usually a few pair at the office, in the car…wherever)

It is a shameful truth that, like snails leave slime and skunks leave stink, I leave a trail of  earrings wherever I roam.  I’ve tried to fix it, but to no avail. I almost always find them again eventually, but in case I don’t, I really hate to invest too much.

I’m a sucker for figural earrings, or something with a little hint of whimsy, like these floral ear clips on clearance from La Vintage, which will set you back a measly 17 smackaroos.

These little darlings measure about 3/4″ and are just about exactly what I go for in an earring. Casual but still a little sparkly, charming but not cutesy and pretty enough to draw light but not so spectacular as to draw attention away from my face.

If you’re not in the habit of wearing earrings, give it a shot.  I have pierced ears but only wear clip-ons, so I can pull them off or put them on at a moment’s notice.  Also, you should always ALWAYS wear earrings when trying on clothing  (nothing dangly, please). You’ll be amazed on how much more put together you’ll look, just with a simple pair of bobs.

More fabulousness after the jump, clicky click!
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Oh Stewie, we’ve been apart for such a long time. I just haven’t loved what you’ve been doing lately and I’ve got several pairs of you sitting in my shoe room who’ve never seen the light of day. Yet these?

These are ringing my bell in a very big way.

So much so that I just might forgive you for having that incident a few months ago when, after I asked one of your questionably dressed shopgirls about a shoe coming in wide widths (which, btw, it does) she told me “Maybe you should try Sears for that sort of thing.”

Sears? SEARS? I’m wearing Lanvin for God’s sake! Are you prepared for the cosmic disruption that could come from someone in archival Lanvin walking into SEARS? It’d make 2012 look like the teddy bears’ freakin’ picnic. Are you willing to do that to the universe, Mr Weitzman? Because I’m not.

It is only my excruciatingly good breeding (and the fact that I think she had a rollicking case of the face herp) that stopped me from slapping her across her filth-spewing mouth.

But still, for these mocassins on sale and in wide widths at Endless, I’ll forgive you.

I remember when I was but a young glamling, sitting in my friend Iolanda’s living room –her father was the Portuguese ambassador I believe, or something equally cool and mysterious– and watching my first Almodóvar movie, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.

It’s funny, because I don’t remember being rocked by it in any profound way, although it’s one of my go-to fashion references now. We watched it and then spent the rest of the afternoon deciding which member of Color Me Badd we’d let go to second base as soon as we had second bases to go to.  You know, like you do.

What I do remember was being shocked at Rossy De Palma.  How could a woman who wasn’t conventionally beautiful be in a movie as a viable sex symbol? And yet the more I looked, the more fascinated I became, and now I think she is one of the most interestingly beautiful women I’ve ever seen:

(also. See those shoes? I would stab you for those shoes. Yes, even you.)

(images courtesy of Château Thombeau)

Everything about her makes me want to look at her more.  There are a million and one bland, prettily perfect girls who get a look and nothing more (Katherine Heigl, I’m looking at you, briefly) but none of them are even a speck as intriguing as Ms De Palma.

“Uh, great Plumcake. Glad you like her…I thought this was a shoe post.”

It is. My reaction to the Vigotti Panya pump was much the same as my initial reaction to Rossy.

I hated it. Historically, I have no great love for an angular Louis heel, and when I first saw this shoe I thought it was just another cheap kick with any old heel tacked on.  But I found myself going back to them over and over, and connecting them to Rossy de Palma in my mind.

Now perhaps it’s because they have a Spanish feel to them and I’ve got a deep fondness for Iberian chic, probably because of Almodóvar’s highly-stylized early influence, but the more I look at them, the more I love them.

The croc print is the best iteration for my fashionable farthing, but they’re available in several different treatments (and come in wide width) on sale at Zappos for under $75, which is no mean feat for a shoe that’s made in Brazil and not China.