Manolo for the Big Girl

A couple weeks ago, Mr. Twistie was given an ultimatum by his boss: use up his accrued vacation time or lose it by August 1. Being of sound mind, Mr. Twistie decided to take the time and…well…he’s not the best at relaxing, frankly, but he’s always got fifteen gazillion projects he could use some extra time for, so he took the vacation.

One of the things he decided to do with this time was head down to Los Angeles to touch bases with both guitarists in his band and discuss an upcoming gig with them. Yes, the link is the band’s MySpace. Yes, this is shameless nepotism. I’ll be right up front with you about that part, but it really does work into my point soon, honest. Besides, I would like the band even if I wasn’t sleeping with the lead singer/composer/producer.

Anyway.

I decided to come along on the trip. For one thing, I thought it would slow Mr. Twistie down a little so he could enjoy it. For another, I wanted to see the guys, too. For the third - and potentially most important - I thought we might work a short visit to Solvang into the trip.

As a child, I’d been there many times, but it had been at least ten or twelve years since my last visit. Yes, it’s a little tacky here and there. Yes, it’s purely for tourists. Yes, there are things there that make me giggle…but there’s one thing in Solvang that isn’t anywhere else on Earth and I wanted to know if it was still as good as I remembered: Ingeborg’s.

I must have been about six or seven the first time my family stumbled across Ingeborg’s in our annual visit to Solvang on the way to spend a few days with my aunt in Santa Barbara. The sign announced that this was the home of the ‘world’s best chocolates and marzipan.’ My parents took that as a challenge. They would be the judges of how good the chocolate and marzipan might be. Half an hour later, the family trooped back out again utterly convinced. We returned every year for about a decade.

Things did change during that time. First Ingeborg, and then her sister Carla left the business. It was bought out by a new couple, but the chocolate remained the same. My tastes changed slightly. I grew to prefer darker chocolates and more complex flavors. Ingeborg’s had chocolates to satisfy my new understanding of what sweets could be. While my brothers weighed the merits of one marzipan delight over another, I lingered in sweet indecision between the hazelnut nougat bars and the chocolate-dipped ginger. I always wound up with a selection of things, the size of which was entirely determined by how much money I had managed to save up in the previous month just to spend at Ingeborg’s.

As I said, though, it had been years since I’d been. Between hectic schedules, well, and just the vagaries of life, we hadn’t managed to make it down that way with a window in our schedule for chocolates for a very long time. And while Mr. Twistie won’t ever say it, I always think it’s a little rude of me to drag him into candy stores since he’s diabetic. That puts a bit of a crimp in the whole candy store experience.

This time, though, I wanted to make the time. I was feeling nostalgic. It had been too long since I’d had really superior chocolate. Just as I was working out how to word the request, though, Mr. Twistie suggested we could go to Solvang and I could make a pilgrimage to Ingeborg’s. Have I mentioned that Mr. Twistie, in addition to being remarkably talented and highly decorative, is a prince among men? Because he absolutely is.

Things have changed, yes. Now, in addition to hand-dipped chocolates made in the back room, Ingeborg’s carries things like Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans and other more broadly commercial candies. It’s a smaller storefront than I remember…though I might have built the size up a lot in my mind.

But the chocolates…oh, the chocolates are just as I remember them. Rich, sweet, and perfectly melded with a variety of fillings and toppings, they melt on my tongue precisely the way they did when I was a kid. Tasting them is like tasting the very best of summer and childhood to me.

Another change made me smile: they now have a sugar-free line, so Mr. Twistie felt he could have some chocolates, too.

We loaded up. Now I’m carefully choosing which chocolate to eat after dinner each night. Will it be a dark chocolate hazelnut patty? A bittersweet chocolate stick infused with lucious orange? Milk chocolate with peppermint? Each has its merits, and each has its place in my dessert.

Best of all, now that they have a website, we can get the chocolates any time we want, whether or not we happen to be headed by Solvang. When we are headed that way, though, I’ll always want to stop in. Waiting for a package is nice, but it can’t possibly compare with the giddy joy of standing in front of the cases inhaling the combined aroma of all those lucious chocolates. Peering through the glass trying to decide which flavor to get…I’m seven again, with a long summer laid out before me.

Sometimes life is just good.

One of my favorite things about being sans kiddos is that I can spend a considerable amount of my free time judging how other people raise their children and comparing them disfavorably to my own imagined children, who would not while away the blissful hours of youth by shoving crayons up their nose and trying to pee on the cat, but would spend their time in constructive efforts like moonshining and exacting vengeance on mine enemies.

An excellent judging opportunity presented itself just yesterday when an acquaintance with two daughters in elementary school –each the smallest in her class– complained how her girls hated to go to a Hooters-type establishment because the waitresses wore such skimpy costumes, the implication being the mother (of whom I am quite fond in other regards) dragged them along anyway.

It filled me with a good frothy head of rage, but I seemed to be the only one.  Aren’t there enough ways to mess with the self-image of young girls without having mothers hauling them to places where perkiness is a must, and I don’t mean in attitude?

So the big question is:

What do you think? For those of you who go to the breast n’ wings-style places,  would you take your daughters there? If you’ve never been, why not?

Remember, Francesca is inviting our readers to meet for cocktails tonight from 7:30-9:30 pm, at The View, at the top of the Marriott Marquis hotel in Times Square, Manhattan. Looking forward to meeting our readers there! xoxo

There’s an article over at today’s edition of the Star-Tribune.com for the Minneapolis-St.Paul area that just…words failed me when I read it. It’s about a new, experimental device for weight loss. This one is basically a ‘food pacemaker’ implanted to cut off the signals to the brain that tell you you’re hungry. Why do we need this? Well, the inventor, one Dr. Sayeed Ikramuddin, who specializes in weight loss surgery realizes, as the article says:

…some people, no matter how overweight, can’t fathom the idea of having their internal organs snipped, tied or rearranged.

You’re right, Dr. Ikramuddin. I can’t fathom snipping or rearranging my perfectly healthy internal organs for a potentially short-lived cosmetic effect that could leave me with permanent health problems (WARNING: There’s a graphic illustration of human insides at the top of that article. If you’re squeamish, as I am, you might prefer not to look too closely at it).

Far better to pay the same amount of money (approximately $35,000.o0) to get a reversible implant and get the weight-loss benefits without the potential unpleasant side-effects, right?

Since this is a new procedure, there’s no telling what - if any - side effects will appear in this experiment. It might wind up being significantly safer, it may not. The jury is out and I prefer to remain cautious. I also prefer not to have an expensive elective surgery that is designed to change my brain function. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer not to mess with my brain by artificial means unless it’s absolutely necessary. Brain tumor? Yes, I think I’d agree to surgery in that case. Carrying more weight than some people think I should? I think that others are then thinking too much about my weight and need to mind their own business.

And once again, this solution to the ‘obesity epidemic’ focuses on the assumption that if we would just stop eating so much junk food all day, every single one of us would be magically thin. People who never question the fact that some people are naturally 7′3″ and others are naturally 4′10″ also never question the assumption that all people are naturally built to have the same BMI.

I don’t know about the rest of you (and believe me, I have no intention of asking because it isn’t my business), but I eat a reasonably balanced diet. I get a wide variety of foods in all the basic groups. I eat them in perfectly reasonable portions. I get moderate exercise pretty much every day. I’m still fat. I’m also still healthy. The worst illness I’ve had in the last ten years was a bout of pertusis (aka: whooping cough) from which I recovered handily once I got the proper medications. I don’t think I got pertusis from being fat. I don’t think any form of surgically-induced weight-loss, even in the form of an implant is going to positively affect my health enough to make it worth the expense, the hospital stay, or any of the myriad inconveniences it could potentially cause.

Of course, this is reversible…which means the effects are also probably equally reversible. In the meantime, those choosing the surgery will have the unsuperfantastic fashion accessory of the battery pack on a belt to work into their wardrobes.

Do we really need another ’solution’ to the horror of fat people? No. We do not. What we need is better access to awesome clothes in plus sizes and more people to stop worrying so damn much about what other people happen to weigh.

Meet Francesca in person tomorrow night at The View, at the top of the Marriot Marquis in Times Square, from 7:30-9:30. See you there!

Francesca is in the mood for a Meet-and-Greet, so she can talk with our wonderful readers in person, drink cocktails with fabulous women, and see (and show off) some wonderful clothes and shoes.

How about it, New Yorkers?

Francesca is thinking The View restaurant and bar at the top of the Marriott Marquis hotel in Times Square, a week from today: Monday, July 7. She will make reservations for drinks from 7:30-9:30, yes? Time enough after work to get to midtown and join us, time enough afterward to get home and get some beauty sleep.

Please let Francesca know in the comments if you will attend, so she will know how much space to reserve. xoxo!

When I finished up Food Friendly May, reader Angel was kind enough to say she was going to miss my recipes. Well, Angel, you didn’t have to miss them for long. With the Fourth coming up, many of us are going to picnics or holding backyard barbeques, or just want a festive treat in honor of the holiday. And so I went looking for just the right sort of treat in a recent addition to my cooking library: Pie by Ken Haedrick.

If you love pie and haven’t taken a look at this book, do yourself a favor and go check it out. I’m overwhelmed with the range and tastiness of the recipes inside. I’ve already made a couple and am looking forward to using this book a lot!

So, what goodie did I find for the Fourth? Watermelon Chiffon Pie. I’ve modified the first instruction, but other than that, it’s just as Mr. Haedrick wrote it down.

(more…)

Once again, you all light up my life. Last week I dropped this perverse image on you:

and you responded with eleven hilarious captions for it.

In the end, though, there can be only one winner. This time around that winner is GradualDazzle for this all-too-appropriate variation on a classic tag line:

“Only YOU can prevent camel toe.”

Congratulations, GradualDazzle! And thanks to everyone who played!

Remember last week when we were talking about aging into things? For me, Ferragamo is one of those brands that I’ll still have to age into. I was at the symphony a few weeks ago and somehow lucked into to the Founders’ Circle. It was nothing but a parade of fantastically aged matrons in their St. John suits and Ferragamo flats and it was fabulous. The flats are just a little too close to home in their WASPiness for me to wear them personally. It’s just a little too literal. I drive a luxury vehicle and can metabolize gin like a anamatronic sailor, I don’t need any more social signifiers, thanks.
THESE however, these are shoes you can wear until you’re dead. They are Not Cheap and I’m always hesitant on recommending fabric shoes because they’re just not at hearty as their leather counterparts but they are classic classic classic. The color is gorgeous, the cut is flattering on the foot and although the heel does tend towards the slender side, it’s “only” three inches so it’s not like you’ll be teetering around like a stilt-walker with an inner ear infection whenever you walk across the room.

Happy Weekend Everybody!

Francesca continues in her quest to catch up on reader emails . . .

Hi Francesca,

I’ve been reading your blog (Manolo for the Big Girl) since it started, and I love seeing the plus-size clothes. I would love to actually buy some of these fabulous clothes, but I live in Australia and so many of the websites listed only ship to US addresses (HolyClothing.com is one of the few exceptions). I saw your post on the Woman Within sale and got all excited about buying something … then found they don’t ship to Australia.

Do you know of any other reasonably-priced online stores catering to plus-size pears from Australia?

Kind Regards,

Aussie Pear

This is one of many, many similar emails we have received from readers all over the world who are not lucky enough to live in the USA — and Francesca calls US residents “lucky” in this context because being a Big Girl and finding plus-size clothing outside of the United States is even more difficult than inside. Francesca knows.

So Francesca has compiled a list of almost 40 online vendors of large-size clothing, which ship to countries outside of the United States (as well as to US addresses)!

1. Alight
2. Always for Me - Ship to over 50 countries; check website for the list
3. B and Lu
4. Bigger Bras - ship to Canada, Western and Northern Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and Japan.
5. Bravissimo - based in London. Ship worldwide.
6. Catherine’s
7. Coldwater Creek
8. Dress By Design
9. Fashion Overdose
10. Fig Leaves - US site does not ship internationally, but the British site ships worldwide.
11. Frederick’s of Hollywood - ship to Canada
12. Holy Clothing - Free shipping on all orders worldwide.
13. Igigi - Ships to Canada, Australia, UK, and EU. Outside those areas, email the company to inquire whether they can ship to you.
14. Jahqoi
15. J.C. Penney - Ship to most countries. See website for details.
16. J. Crew - ships to Canada and Japan, and is in process of adding more countries.
17. J.Jill
18. Junonia
19. Kiyonna
20. Land’s End
21. Lane Bryant - Ship to Canada, but no other international orders
22. Make Your Own Jeans
23. Making It Big
24. Maximum Woman - based in Toronto, ships internationally around the world.
25. Missphit
26. Monif C.
27. Persephone Plus - Gothic clothing
28. Reality Plus Clothing
29. Saks Fifth Avenue - International shipping is limited to a few countries. Call 1-800-7257-7257 (from outside the US) to find out whether your country is one of them.
30. Silhouettes - one must contact the company to check for availability of international shipping to one’s area
31. Size Appeal
32. SWAK 
33. Sydney’s Closet - for $53 (!!!) will ship to Canada and “select other countries around the world.” See website for details.
34. Swimsuits for All
35. Swimsuits Just for Us - ship to Canada, UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand
36. Talbot’s
37. Women Suits - ship to most international destinations
38. Zaftique - For non-US/Canadian address, item must be in stock for order to be shipped.
39. Torrid

A few caveats:

1- Francesca does not claim this list to be exhaustive. Please feel free to add more in the comments!

2- Although all these sites ship internationally, one may not be able to order through the site as easily as an American resident. One may, for example, have to call or email ahead to find out how much shipping will cost to one’s own particular country, and express/rush shipping usually is not available.

3- Shipping rates to other countries vary widely from site to site, and never include customs taxes or import fees at the receiving end, which can be exhorbitant. Francesca highly recommends having items shipped to an American friend whenever possible, and having the friend ship the clothing to you in open packages, so that they are “used.” Remember also that return shipping will take longer and add to your costs.

4- Almost every site located in the US will ship to the US and to all its territories. However, if you live in Alaska, Hawaii, a US holding/territory, or have an APO/FPO or Rural Route address, then check the shipping policies carefully, as they differ widely; but, probably, Francesca did not have to tell you this!

5- When in doubt about shipping policies, check on the websites under “Ordering and Returns,” “Shipping,” or “Customer Service” for details. Information about international possibilities may be buried deep within the site, but they are there.

Also, a special note to our reader, Aussie Pear: Check out mysize.com.au and bodywise.com.au!

To our readers in the UK: Beige Plus and Simply Be are both located in the UK and will ship within it.

Happy shopping!

xoxo,

Francesca