Tonight begins Rosh Hashanah, the New Year of the Jewish calendar, and we wish all of our Jewish friends a happy holiday and a year of joy and superfantasticness.
Here is a handsome, honey-colored shoe, very elegant for going to Temple to declare the Majesty of the King of Kings. And it is available in a wide width!
In a place where there is no man, strive to be a Man.
– The Talmud
Last week, in my post recommending a handsome sandal to new college students, we received the following comments:
[W]hile the being cool is not as important in college as it was in high school, fitting in still requires some buckling to social pressures, such as the wearing of shower shoes to class.
and
I can’t see students who Febreze their clothing in lieu of laundering wearing heels to class . . . . Sorry, come join us in the real world.
These comments made Francesca very sad. Not because of what it says about college women’s fashion choices, but because of what their fashion choices say about their attitude to college, and to themselves.
It is not so long ago that studying at a University was a privilege limited to wealthy men. Even when that privilege was extended, through the rise of the middle class, the establishment of public universities, and the concept of scholarships, to the not-as-wealthy, it was still limited to men for a long, long time. It was a hard battle that women fought just to be able to sit in the same classes as men, to gain the same opportunities and the same chances to expand one’s horizons and stimulate one’s intellect (or at least sit through the required statistics class which will allow one to finish one’s major and get the job or graduate school acceptance letter which one covets).
We are extremely lucky to live in an era and a society in which the poorest members can attend college if they work hard enough, and in which women, people of color, immigrants, religious minorities, and others to whom the doors of Academia were previously closed can now spend four precious years learning how to think, preparing for advanced careers, and catering to their curiosity about things like Art History and Sociology. Never have so many academic riches been available to so many.
Here are these bright young women. Not so long ago and not so far away, they would have been sent to work in factories. If they were lucky they would have been training in typing or shorthand and looking for husbands. Or perhaps, if they were wealthy, they would be newly married to the son of a wealthy neighbor, pretending to be interested in how many doilies they own or their troubles in finding good servants (anyone see Titanic?). Before that, at the age of 18 they would have already been married for a couple of years and mothers to one or two children.
Instead, they have the luxury of three or four years – YEARS—to study liberal arts or professional studies. They are engaged in a pursuit which not long ago was considered an outrageous waste of time, unless you were wealthy enough to have that time to waste (and were a white male). Now it is, yes, considered a necessity for a middle-class lifestyle. But it is still a privilege.
And how do we show our respect for the privilege of studying History and Chemistry and Political Science and Math? We wear flip-flops and pajama bottoms to class!
And the sartorial catastrophes are just the tippity tip of the greater one: that on many campuses, college has now become a time not of study and intellectual growth, but of binge drinking and sleeping late and perhaps the multiple partners of the meaningless sex, and the being happy with a C average! This is not superfantastic!
Ladies! You are now certified adults. You can vote. You can drive. You could get married, if you chose to – but for now you are putting that off to enrich your minds in academic pursuits. You are a grown, interesting, intelligent woman who is fascinated by the world. And you have much to contribute to it.
Don’t you think you should be wearing real shoes?
Look! You do not even have to spend a lot of money! Francesca knows that for the privilege of studying Environmental Studies or Near Eastern Languages and Cultures, you are living on pasta and doing work-study just to pay for your books.
So Francesca has found several items which you can wear on your adult, respectful, worthy-of-respect feets, which cost under $35 but are attractive and, at least, actual shoes.
Oh-so-casual for the showing up at the cafeteria at 9:30 am for breakfast, then taking your books to the library, and leaving at 2:10 so you can get to Developmental Psychology at 2:25 at a nice pace, cool as a cucumber:
Tonight, after your student government meeting, you have a date! What can you slip on with your jeans to add some festive flair?
And tomorrow, when you go to class, you want something fun and comfortable for standing in Chem lab, something “young” and yet 10,000 steps above the flipflops. Will it be these?
Or these?
And there are more here, here, and here.
Of course you do not have to wear high-heeled sandals to look superfantastic! The idea is to wear the clothes which show respect for yourself, for your classmates, for your professor, for your education, for all the people who are financing your education, and for the society which has decided that you are now a grown-up. Do you wish to be seen as one? Does it matter that “everyone else” is wearing slippers and Febreezed sweatpants around campus? Do you not wish to be the superfantastic individual who wishes to remember, always, that she is a person of dignity and importance and deserves to appear so to the world? In a place where there is no man, do you not wish to strive to be a beautiful Woman?
Francesca believes in you!
Dear Freshwomen (or, as they are known at Francesca’s all-women alma mater, “first-year students”),
Soon you will be leaving for college. Packing for your new dormroom, wondering whether your roommate will be friendly or catatonic . . . it is all very exciting! You of course would like to bring shoes that can carry you through the September weeks of orientation and classes, shoes which are comfortable enough to walk around campus, shoes that can be easily slipped off when you go to the quad lawn to study, shoes which will look stylish with your jeans during the day and sophisticated enough for dates with the college guys at night.
Behold the Tahlia by Brighton!
Happy shopping – for shoes and for classes!
Xoxo, Francesca
Our internet friend Kim wrote to Francesca:
I have found out recently that I am pregnant, and being the shopaholic that I am I’ve starting shopping around the web for maternity wear. Unfortunately, I’ve only been finding up to sizes 18, and I am a 20. Do you have some places to recommend?
Regarding the impending birth of your child, Francesca says: Congratulations! May your baby be healthy and happy and bring out the very best in you. And let you sleep sometimes. Francesca wishes you all the best! xoxo!
Regarding your search for size 20 maternity wear, Francesca says: Ayyyy! Kim has set for Francesca a most difficult quest indeed!
Francesca has never been pregnant, but for her friend Kim she spent a goodly amount of time researching the fashion choices of the plus-size woman with a bun in the oven.
Slim pickin’s, ladies. It is slim pickin’s. (No pun intended.)
First of all, Francesca will not recommend any place that offers plus-size maternity wear. It must be superfantastic maternity wear. And here is where we immediately hit a terrible, terrible obstacle. The internet is rife — rife, I say — with online vendors who do not understand that a pregnant plus-size woman does not need to look like a flowery cow draped with a polyester blanket. More than once, Francesca turned her head from the computer, pulling at her hair and shouting “my eyes! my eyes!”
And then there is the additional challenge of finding clothes which indeed go up to size 20, rather than just size 16 or 18. From Kim, the new baby will surely learn the values of resourcefulness, persistence, and creative problem-solving!
There are two sites which Francesca deems to offer a large selection of super-fantastic choices for the plus-size pregnant lady. By “superfantastic” Francesca means, in this context, that the clothes have some shape, and not all of them are made of polyester, and that there is a good likelihood of finding items appropriate for work or for a date with one’s partner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate the success in getting knocked up. Finding clothes for staying home folding laundry is easy. Finding clothes for a meeting with a new client is the challenge for Francesca!
One of these worthy-of-Manolo sites is Maternity Clothing Fashions, which has some items available in Size 20. Kim should note that the sizing scale is different for each item (there is a chart on each page), and so some size 20 clothing corresponds to 3X, and some to 4X. Finding the size 20 takes some searching, but it is there if you look hard enough. Luckily, the pregnancy lasts only 9 months, and a few well-chosen pieces, taken care of, will go a long way.
Here is an attractive and versatile off-the-shoulder maternity top which goes up to size 20:
And this skirt is available in white or taupe, through size 20:
Francesca further recommends that Kim read this helpful article at BabyCenter.com, with tips for finding maternity wear in plus sizes, links to vendors (buyer beware! Take care of your eyes!) and tips for making your own clothes.
For those who can wear a 16 or 18 (or lower), Francesca also gives her stamp of approval to BabyStyle.com. She is fond of this black flutter wrap dress, which is on sale from $88 down to $30!
Finally, for the convenience of our internet friends, Francesca will share with you the short list of vendors which, while not quite as superfantastic as the two above, did not make Francesca want to make like Oedipus. The materials here are not as likely to be high quality, but if one is careful, one can find many useful and perhaps even superfantastic styles for the pregnancy, especially if one searches for “work,” “business casual,” and “evening” clothes:
JCPenny (Women’s sizes are included in the regular category. Tall sizes have their own section)
Lane Bryant (through size 44 for the Kim!)
Happy pregnancy, take care of your feets, and happy shopping!
xoxo, Francesca
An internet friend from the Northwest wrote to us:
I’m a law student in need of a suit for upcoming September interviews for next year’s summer positions . . . the law is one of the most conservative professions, so I need a conservative suit. . . . Any suggestions as to cut? Colour? Fabric? Pants or skirt? Shoes? I’m a tall size 18 and while well-endowed in the chest and shoulders department, my large hips tend rather to eclipse my upper half. I’m pale, with brown hair. My good body points are my chest, hands, and long legs. Please advise.
Francesca is well-versed in the need for ultra-conservative interview clothing. She once had an interview at a large advertising company in New York — one would think that an advertising firm in New York would welcome a tad more creativity than, say, a law office in Washington DC — and received feedback that Francesca had done a nice job on the interview, but the extremely conservative navy blue dress she was wearing was not conservative enough, because it was a dress and not a suit.
Francesca said: Whatever! I will become a freelance writer and travel the world, always meeting new and fascinating people and writing about interesting things that make for terrific, sparkling conversation at cocktail parties. You can take your advertising job and keep it in your little cubicles while you yearn to move into a corner office! I, meanwhile, the great Francesca, will be paid to blog about fashion from the comfort of cute little bistros!
Ahem, Francesca has gone on a tangent. Our internet friend wishes to become a lawyer, and so we must return to the topic at hand: conservative suits.
First, the law job interview suit must be navy blue or black, and, it goes without saying, made of the finest materials you can afford. Detailing such as narrow pinstripes and buttons should be simple and tasteful. This is not the time to take risks or try to make a bold statement with your fashion choices. The goal is to make a bold statement with your intelligence and professionalism instead. The focus will be on your talents, not on your fashion sense. We do not want to distract your interviewers the way Francesca has become distracted.
Skirt or pants? What do you think Francesca will say? (Hemlines should be at or beyond the knee, not above it, especially as one does not want to show thigh while sitting for an interview! And a just-below-the-knee hem will highlight your pretty calves.)
Since our internet friend is pale, Francesca recommends navy blue (over black) so that contrast between skin and clothing will not be too severe or make our friend look pale under the office lighting.
Pair the suit with an ivory or off-white shell or simple (not frilly) blouse. Silk is always a good choice. I recommend against white in your case because the light reflecting from the blouse may make you look more pale. Remember to wear a bra which matches your skin tone, so it does not show through the blouse!
As for style, indeed it is difficult, as a Big Girl, to find suits which are appropriately conservative without making us look boxy. Francesca has conducted a search and found many example of suits which are either cheaply made (horror!), or box-shaped (yuck), or available in black but not navy. Francesca very much wishes to find a navy suit for her friend. Behold! I have found this perfect example of well-made, conservative suit with attractive but non-distracting details, from our friends at Talbot’s!
The jacket (here in Women’s):
And the matching skirt:
And here are the links for this suit and skirt in Women’s Petite sizes! And in regular sizes through 20!
As for shoes, here are the ultra-ultra-conservative pumps by Vigotti:
If you can get away with some detailing, and would like to save a little money while you live on a student income, you might choose these very pretty and more affordable shoes by Ros Hommerson:
Either way, wear pantyhose which match your skin tone! Navy blue hose are too “matchy” and white will make you look like a nurse instead of a lawyer.
Best of luck on your interviews! Please tell us how it goes!
xoxo, Francesca
Our internet friend Monica wrote to us:
Love your blog dearly! Some friends and I have been invited to an outdoor arts gala, and the style of dress is “California Black Tie.” I can’t find examples online of what this would mean. Would you kindly enlighten us?
It turns out that neither I, nor Plumcake, nor the esteemed Manolo have the tiniest clue as to what this means, and indeed a Google search was not very helpful. In her own inimitable style, Plumcake suggested that Monica try wearing “a ball gown and mouse ears.” I, Francesca, am not sure whether “California Black Tie” means, perhaps, “slightly more casual than Black Tie” — in which case “formal” or “semi-formal” would have been more clear — or whether perhaps “California Black Tie” is a euphemism for “casual,” rather like the way “Bronx marble” means “linoleum,” a fact I learned from watching CSI:NY.
If any other of you, our internet friends, could help Monica dress appropriately for her arts gala, I’m sure she would appreciate the help in clearing up this mystery.
Plumcake’s internet friend, Annalucia, writes:
The Annalucia’s Great Challenge of Superfantasticness will occur on the 18th of August. On that day … she is off to Oak Park to meet some professional translators. The translation is the profession she is only just now adopting, and she confesses to some trepidation as she has been many years out of the work force and is meeting these people for the first time. The plan is to meet at the open-air art show and then to adjourn to a cafe for dinner, and the weather will probably be most brutally hot.Have you ladies any suggestions for the middle aged size 16 lady in this situation? The Annalucia is considering the white cotton trousers, the white camisole, and the “aubergine” silk shirt over all. Perhaps she will wear her white sandals, or if this is too much white, she can wear her red ones.
Plumcake wholeheartedly supports wearing white in the light, natural fibers but worries that perhaps the silk aubergine shirt would be Too Much. Especially if there might be a glistening situation to worry about (Plumcake herself glistens like a saran-wrapped mule)
Solution? Linen!
There is nothing more chic than summer linen on a woman of a certain age. It’s so Kate Hepburn I can’t even stand it. A society grand dame who goes to my church wears nothing but silk and linen in the summer and she always looks so elegant and cool as she just breezes by the rest of us mere mortals who are melting in the Texas sun.
I recommend this light silk-lined linen dress available at Macy’s –that’s Marshall Fields to you Chicagoers, Chicagoites, residents of
Even better, it’s in your size and on sale for under $100!
No white sandals please. Though many will disagree, Plumcake feels that all-white shoes are best left to nurses, brides and strippers dressed up as nurses and brides.
Bonne chance & buena suerte!
Plumcake
