Manolo for the Big Girl

Our internet friend CJ wrote:

I have read your FABULOUS post from last August aiding the law student looking for a conservative suit.  I’m in the same spot, but now Talbots has no navy suits for me!  I’d love a navy suit, in size 18/ 16W (or so), preferably with a skirt and pants option.  I do not want pinstripes!  The skirt must be long enough and the jacket short enough to be traditional.  I’d even be willing to have a peplum on the jacket or a flounce on the skirt.  However, it must not stand out.

I’m in the northwest, so I might have more options than someone looking in New York.  However, there are less stores.  In fact, I have been incredibly disappointed with Nordstrom and Macy’s- the first places I went looking.  And Lane Bryant has a jacket, but no bottoms in Navy (Why? so close!).

In response to CJ’s cry for help, Francesca looked high and low for an appropriate interview suit and discovered that CJ is not crazy, as CJ had feared, but rather she is corrrect: Finding a Navy, summer/fall interview suit in size 16/18 is not easy right now.

There are wool suits available, which Francesca may discuss in September or October, but CJ must needs to find a job now, in the August weather, and wool would Not Be Good.

Dear readers! Especially those in the superfantastic Northwest! Do you have any secret sources of interview clothing which might help CJ?

Francesca is truly good and stumped. Perhaps collectively we can help our Big Sister get a great job!

To the fantastic Francesca!My mom, who is superfantastic on the inside but sometimes a little over-functional on the outside, is going with my dad to his Naval Academy class reunion dinner dance.  The dinner! The dancing! The men formerly in uniform! What is not to love? Yet she is not so excited, because she must now pick out the dress.  She is a petite 14/16 “apple with a waist” (her description) who finds that dresses are almost never large enough in the bust. She is much fun but not much into frills, and has skin that carries off bright colors and black and white equally well; usually not yellow, but she loves green.  In fact I will just attach her photographs. (one is all of our family women but she is the one with the cute butt in the middle, the other is us being very cute together even if I did forget to wear makeup that day)  She has been encouraged by my dad to spend more on a dress than she usually would, which I think she still thinks means less than $100 but he thinks is less than $200.Mostly I just want to help her feel great in the room full of the souped-up trophy wives, since I already know she is pretty foxy but she maybe does not.  I was hoping you might be able to help?? Everyone’s petite sections have vanished and the world of internet shopping is scary and without measurement references, but living in a fairly small town in the south there are not a lot of in-person options.

Thank you so much for any help/inspiration you can offer!!

Much love,

Leah

Francesca loves that Leah sent the photos, and gave us permission to post them! Indeed all the ladies of Leah’s family are beautiful and superfantastic. (And her mom indeed has the “cute butt,” if she doesn’t mind Francesca saying so.)

As soon as Leah said “green” and “petite” and “Apple,” Francesca’s thoughts turned straight to Igigi.

Yes, yes, Francesca is constantly recommending them for formal occasions. This is because the clothes are beautiful, and because, somehow, magically, even items that look like they would be ill-suited for an Apple, or for a petite girl, manage to look like they were made for just such a woman!

Francesca does not know how this works. She only knows that, as an Apple, she will sometimes try Igigi clothes under the assumption that they will probably have to be returned, and voila! They look amazing.

And their green dresses are such a gorgeous shade of emerald.

“Summer Breeze” Cocktail Dress

“Delicate Lace” Cocktail Dress with Shrug

If your mother would prefer a floor-length gown, the “Dreamy Nights” dress may come to the floor on the Petite woman, and there is the gorgeous “Enchanted Nights” dress, which can be shortened as necessary. From Sydney’s Closet, “Intoxicating” is on sale but there are no returns. It is a mock two-piece, can be shortened, and would lovely on many the Apple.

Leah should remind her mother that the well-endowed chest can be not a liability, but a great asset, one to show off!

Good luck, and please tell us how the dinner goes!

xoxo

Dear Francesca, I have been reading your column for several months now.  I am a petite bigger girl; 5′2″ and around a size 18-ish, with an hourglass figure.  My daughter once told me I was not allowed to call myself “fat” when she was about 4 years old; “Mama, I just call you soft.”  *melt*  Such a sweet girl!

I have a bit of a dilemna.  My father is remarrying in early October. My statuesque stepmother-to-be will wear a beautiful Dessy nu-georgette strapless gown in aubergine, and the “wedding party” (my stepsister-to-be and daughter, the maid of honor and flower girl, respectively) will wear Jim Hjelm chiffon gowns in a beautiful shade of purple (”tranquil”).  I would like my siblings and our spouses to fit in with the general color palette.  (Won’t the family pictures look stunning?)  My husband and brothers will be
wearing black suits and shopping for purple tie (and/or shirts), and my sister-in-law will likely shop for a new dress.

I would like to find an attractive tea-length dress, elegant, not too casual, preferably classic in style — able to be worn again.  I’m having trouble figuring out where to look in places that won’t break the bank.  I work full-time and live in a smaller town without many bridal shops.  I am expecting to mail order a dress, hopefully with enough time for alterations.  

If I can find the right dress, I can reuse a pair of beaded black shoes from my brother’s wedding 2 years ago along with a darling black beaded purse I’ve got.

Can you help me find something lovely and flattering?  Am I asking for too much?  I’m worried I won’t find anything reasonable in time.

Thank you for any assistance you can provide!
-Becky 

Dear Becky,

Indeed, the wedding photos will look stunning as you say. Francesca loves purple! She also loves when brides eschew the tradition of wearing a white dress, and instead embrace the colors which make them (and, one hopes, their bridal party) look and feel superfantastic!

Francesca wishes to point out to Becky and her sister-in-law that since the bride has chosen to wear a deep purple, it would be best to avoid similar shades such as eggplant. Just as it is gauche to wear an all-white dress to a white-clad-bride-wedding, so too it would behoove one to allow one’s new stepmother to look unique in the wedding photos.

Francesca will assume that it is OK with the bride for family members who are not technically in the “wedding party” to wear colors in the same palette. It seems reasonable to Francesca for children of the bride and groom to be color-coordinated, but it is always best to check with those are doing the marrying.

So, we are searching for an elegant, tea-length dress, available in size 18, which will work with the “tranquil” dresses without clashing with the aubergine. Francesca is relieved to see that the Becky expects to have to make alterations, as it is probable that any dress we find will have to be shortened. Them’s the breaks.

Here is a lovely cocktail dress in lilac which would work beautifully with Becky’s hourglass figure, and whose black trim would make the black shoes and purse less jarring against the pastel dress:

Here, a similar dress in black and ivory would complement the purple bridal party quite beautifully.

Here, too, is a sweet dress at — believe it or not — Home Shopping Network. With the hourglass figure, it could be worn to great effect with a pretty black belt, and may hit the tea length on the woman who is 5′2.”

At HSN, Francesca also found this fetching number, which, in silver will once again complement the wedding party without trying to matchy-match it. The beaded accessories and elegant earrings and necklace would bring the outfit to an appropriate level of wedding fanciness.

Francesca wishes Becky a good time at her father’s wedding!

xoxo

A dear internet friend writes in with a conundrum:

Dear Francesca,

From pool-side in the middle of the hot summer, I ask: where might a 38DD find a cute bikini?

When I say “bikini”, I’m talking completely bare middle here, not a tankini set or skirted bottom or other (very pretty but not what I’m looking for) additions to the bikini swim basic. When I find lovely swim retailers with suits larger than a C-cup (several linked from your site), they all want to hide the middle! So now I am lost when shopping, as my experience is that I’m too large for the average store or juniors and then too small/very badly shaped for the “ladies stores.”  I’m 23, 5′8″, size 14/15, flat-bottomed Apple (so all of the attention is up top. Which I’m fine with, so no need to de-emphasize, but only to securely support.)

The only style note is that I like bright or solid colors or funky patterns in my two-piece, not so much the floral, conservative frills my mom would love. For example, I like some of the trendier swim suits that you’d find at Target in the juniors department, but their idea of an XL top seems to max out at a C-cup. (The women’s section, sadly, seems to offer little in curvy support even when the correct size, and always with the stomach covered and the bored floral pattern.) I also love shopping at Torrid (my average style tends towards the Tripp selection), but all of Torrid’s (very cute!) swimsuits persist in covering up the middle. As for shape (halter top, string set, bra-style cups, etc.) - I’d love to try them all, if only I could find a place that sells them in my size!

Thank you, and the other wonderful bloggers of Manolo for the Big Girl, for highly entertaining and useful information,

B.

Ah, a Big Girl of confidence who will flaunt her abdomen! Francesca approves!

But, ayyyy! Francesca has been searching for bikinis that meet all of B’s criteria — 38DD, actual bikini, with secure support but no florals — and indeed it has been a frustrating endeavor!

Unless Francesca has missed something, she believes that dear B. will have to look outside of the United States for what she requires. Thankfully, Bravissimo does sell a few bikinis which meet all these criteria (and a 38DD in England is the same as an American 38DD).

See, here is an underwire plunge bikini top (matching panties sold separately; just scroll down) in the bright, solid color which  our reader prefers:

Happy summer, and remember the sunscreen!

xoxo, Francesca

Another chapter in the book of “Francesca catches up on her email correspondence”!

Dear Francesca,

I’m a regular reader, and really appreciate your fashion advice — I’m 5′2″ and a size 14, so it’s hard to find things that suit someone short and generously proportioned. I’ve learned a ton about where to look for superfabulous clothes from the site, and think you guys do a really lovely job of balancing sensible advice and entertaining insights. Kudos to you all!

I’m writing specifically because I am thinking of getting that lovely beaded dress you posted in the post about the semi-annual Nordstrom’s sale for a friend, but can’t find it on the Nordstrom’s site. Can you point me in the right direction? Also, what kind of shoes would you recommend wearing with it? The dress is so lovely the shoes should balance it out, but sometimes those of us on the fleshier side can’t wear the strappiest and most delicate of sandals. Any thoughts?

Thanks again and have a lovely weekend,

L

Dear L,

Francesca is happy to oblige.

The Nordstrom dress is still available in mint green right here. Your friend is lucky indeed to receive such a gift!

As for shoes, indeed the strappy, summery sandals are best. But if you would like a more sturdy shoe, something with more coverage and a lower heel, Francesca would recommend black satin, to echo the ribbon belt, and a simple design so as to keep attention on the dress. Something like this:

Or perhaps this delicate pump by Paul Smith:

Happy shopping, and happy weekend!

xoxo, Francesca

Francesca continues in her quest to catch up on reader emails . . .

Hi Francesca,

I’ve been reading your blog (Manolo for the Big Girl) since it started, and I love seeing the plus-size clothes. I would love to actually buy some of these fabulous clothes, but I live in Australia and so many of the websites listed only ship to US addresses (HolyClothing.com is one of the few exceptions). I saw your post on the Woman Within sale and got all excited about buying something … then found they don’t ship to Australia.

Do you know of any other reasonably-priced online stores catering to plus-size pears from Australia?

Kind Regards,

Aussie Pear

This is one of many, many similar emails we have received from readers all over the world who are not lucky enough to live in the USA — and Francesca calls US residents “lucky” in this context because being a Big Girl and finding plus-size clothing outside of the United States is even more difficult than inside. Francesca knows.

So Francesca has compiled a list of almost 40 online vendors of large-size clothing, which ship to countries outside of the United States (as well as to US addresses)!

1. Alight
2. Always for Me - Ship to over 50 countries; check website for the list
3. B and Lu
4. Bigger Bras - ship to Canada, Western and Northern Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and Japan.
5. Bravissimo - based in London. Ship worldwide.
6. Catherine’s
7. Coldwater Creek
8. Dress By Design
9. Fashion Overdose
10. Fig Leaves - US site does not ship internationally, but the British site ships worldwide.
11. Frederick’s of Hollywood - ship to Canada
12. Holy Clothing - Free shipping on all orders worldwide.
13. Igigi - Ships to Canada, Australia, UK, and EU. Outside those areas, email the company to inquire whether they can ship to you.
14. Jahqoi
15. J.C. Penney - Ship to most countries. See website for details.
16. J. Crew - ships to Canada and Japan, and is in process of adding more countries.
17. J.Jill
18. Junonia
19. Kiyonna
20. Land’s End
21. Lane Bryant - Ship to Canada, but no other international orders
22. Make Your Own Jeans
23. Making It Big
24. Maximum Woman - based in Toronto, ships internationally around the world.
25. Missphit
26. Monif C.
27. Persephone Plus - Gothic clothing
28. Reality Plus Clothing
29. Saks Fifth Avenue - International shipping is limited to a few countries. Call 1-800-7257-7257 (from outside the US) to find out whether your country is one of them.
30. Silhouettes - one must contact the company to check for availability of international shipping to one’s area
31. Size Appeal
32. SWAK 
33. Sydney’s Closet - for $53 (!!!) will ship to Canada and “select other countries around the world.” See website for details.
34. Swimsuits for All
35. Swimsuits Just for Us - ship to Canada, UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand
36. Talbot’s
37. Women Suits - ship to most international destinations
38. Zaftique - For non-US/Canadian address, item must be in stock for order to be shipped.
39. Torrid

A few caveats:

1- Francesca does not claim this list to be exhaustive. Please feel free to add more in the comments!

2- Although all these sites ship internationally, one may not be able to order through the site as easily as an American resident. One may, for example, have to call or email ahead to find out how much shipping will cost to one’s own particular country, and express/rush shipping usually is not available.

3- Shipping rates to other countries vary widely from site to site, and never include customs taxes or import fees at the receiving end, which can be exhorbitant. Francesca highly recommends having items shipped to an American friend whenever possible, and having the friend ship the clothing to you in open packages, so that they are “used.” Remember also that return shipping will take longer and add to your costs.

4- Almost every site located in the US will ship to the US and to all its territories. However, if you live in Alaska, Hawaii, a US holding/territory, or have an APO/FPO or Rural Route address, then check the shipping policies carefully, as they differ widely; but, probably, Francesca did not have to tell you this!

5- When in doubt about shipping policies, check on the websites under “Ordering and Returns,” “Shipping,” or “Customer Service” for details. Information about international possibilities may be buried deep within the site, but they are there.

Also, a special note to our reader, Aussie Pear: Check out mysize.com.au and bodywise.com.au!

To our readers in the UK: Beige Plus and Simply Be are both located in the UK and will ship within it.

Happy shopping!

xoxo,

Francesca

Francesca is in the Heathrow International Airport in London, drinking a $7.00 coffee at Starbucks and catching up on her email. As always, she thinks of the dear Manolo readers no matter how far or how long she roams. Here is a letter from “Francie,” which is, perhaps, short for Francesca???

With the humid, hot weather, I dread wearing shirts. I’m top heavy, apple shaped, about a 20 on top and a 16 on bottom. I’m 45 and just don’t feel comfortable in sleeveless tops anymore. What do I wear to survive the 95 degree days. Isn’t anyone else HOT?!

Thanks!

Francie

This is a very good question indeed, and yes, Francesca, too, is very hot.

Francesca assumes that you are looking for tops that are a little more dressy than t-shirts, perhaps something suitable for work, or you would not have needed to ask. Francesca also guesses that you do not work as a cog in a super-corporate environment, or you also, in that case, would not have needed to ask, and anyhow sleeveless would not even be an option.

Therefore, Francesca recommends the shaped, slightly and subtly adorned, cotton shirts for the summer, with the ¾ sleeves which is often flattering on the top-heavy Apples (of which Francesca is proud to be one!), and which provide a nice compromise between formality and modesty on one hand, and the brutal summer heat on the other. A second choice to cotton would be linen, which is cool but wrinkles oh-so-easily!

If you cannot find shaped cotton shirts (and in the case of the Apple, “shaped” means “with princess seaming or other structural details which create a waist”), then please, do not buy t-shirts that scream “I bought this at a rock concert” or “I got this for free at some college event eight years ago” or “this is left over from my summer job as a pool guard when I was 16.” Those are shirts for sleeping, or workouts.

No, no, please wear cotton shirts that say “I was bought in a store, chosen purposefully and carefully by my owner because I am flattering to her.” And then add a pretty beaded necklace in a complementary color and some killer earrings, and you are good to go.

Polo shirts can also work well, if one’s office is casual enough. Francesca is imagining a polo shirt in a bright summer color such as rasberry or turquoise, and a headband or comb in a matching color, with slightly-dangling sparkly earrings, and a simple gold or silver bracelet . . .

. . . paired, of course, with well-fitting dress pants or jeans, or a straight skirt. Because a loose shirt paired with loose pants or a flary skirt would create a baggy outfit, and we do not want that!

Here is a wonderful cotton blouse by Charter Club, available on sale at Macy’s up to size 20 W (though it appears a bit too big for the model; Francesca would recommend “taking it in” on the sides):

More cotton shirts to come as the summer progresses!

xoxo,

Francesca

Oh my fellow fools for foulards! I had no idea there were so many of you who want to wear scarves but either didn’t know how or don’t feel confident wearing them. I love scarves like a tranny loves duct tape and you, you are my people!

One of the brilly things about scarves is that you don’t need to drop serious bank to get a good one. Sure I’ve got my vintage YSL mousseline and my beloved Hermès that I refuse to wear when I might be around dirt or water or air or, um, people, but I love my five-dollar thrift store finds just as much (well, almost) as the $400 ones and just because the hems aren’t rolled between the thighs of Provençal maidens doesn’t mean it can’t look chic.

But how to wear them?

If, like me, you were not blessed with a gracile neck (or more appropriately were blessed with a gracile neck which you keep safely protected under a gentle cascade of chins) then the standard snug neck wrap isn’t going to be the most flattering look.

Try these three less-intimidating looks instead:

Headscarf. British Vogue just had an article on how this is coming back into style. Frankly for girls with heart-shaped faces it never went out. Fold a square scarf diagonally and then fold the wide end over several times until the triangle is an attractive size for your melon. Tie it wrong side down over your face like a bandit, then flip it up and adjust. I find this works best with thin silk scarves as they grip better than thick ones. If you have a problem keeping them in place either use a hat pin or, less excitingly, a bobby pin. Clip on a good pair of earrings and pay attention to your eye makeup. Of course if you’re really daring, tie the ends around your neck Grace Kelly-style. Personally, I find it a bit costumey unless you’re actually driving a classic convertible.

Gypsy Belt. Fold on the diagonal and tie the small ends around your waist, centering the broad point over your hip. This is particularly good for pears and I love it beyond reason because a) I’m excited when anything can go around my waist. b) it’s a chic, flattering and unexpected way to dress up an otherwise boring dress. Tie it a little higher and tighter than you’d want to naturally, it’ll stretch throughout the day.

Ascot. I like this because it’s traditional but not quite as contrived-looking as some of the other neck styles, plus you can wear it a bit lower, which doesn’t make those of us who are fat of face look like we’re being garotted. Take the diagonal opposite scarf points and fold them towards each other, overlapping and folding back until you have a long rectangle about 5″ wide with pointed ends loosely tie around your neck, bringing one end over the other and spreading so it looks like, well, an ascot. Oh here, just look at the picture. For more fun with scarves, click here and go to playtime with your scarf to download the two-part Hermès .pdf. Happy weekend everybody, tie one on for me!

Dear Francesca,

I’m getting married and need to find a wedding dress. I am a 22 on top, 24 on the bottom in regular off-the-rack clothes, which I assume means I could potentially be anything from a 26 to a 32 in bridal sizes. I’m really not looking to spend much more than $600. I am 5′8″ and pear shaped.

The one dress I’ve really liked so far is this one from Kiyonna:

 

but my mom says the pattern of the lace is embiggening and the back is not interesting enough (she has a point there).

Just looking at dresses is freaking me out–everything looks so generic, plus I don’t think any of it will fit! Also, I’m nervous the ladies at bridal boutiques will be mean to me because I’m not a sample size. If you have ANY guidance at all I’d take it–where to look, how to make the experience less scary. Even if it’s just, “Chill out, even in an ugly dress all brides are beautiful.” :-)

Thank you,

Allison

Dearest Allison,

Before going on to the dresses, Francesca first wishes to say:

Chill out! Even in an ugly dress all brides are beautiful.

The most important thing is that you are beautiful to yourself. And the second most important thing is that you are beautiful to your groom. Presumably, he finds you quite attractive, since he wishes to share bathroom counter space with you for the rest of his life.

So you see, you are doing fine.

Second, do not worry about the ladies at the boutiques. If they are at all experienced, they will know from looking at you whether they have something in your size. If they do not, then they will say “We’re sorry, we don’t carry plus-sizes; we wish we could help you.” If they do not have anything in your size, it is still in their best interest to be polite to everyone who walks through their door. And if they do have anything in your size, it especially behooves them to be polite. It does not hurt to ask. Them saying “we’re sorry, we can’t help you” is not the same as being mean, and if many, many plus-size brides are forced to walk away from the store empty-handed, perhaps they will consider catering to the plus-size market. Because, you know, Big Girls are attractive to men and do get married. 

(If any sales person should be mean to you, whether you are a bride or not, definitely write a letter of complaint to the manager! You are a person and your voice must be heard!)

Anyhow. To the dresses. Francesca must be honest, she almost despaired of finding a dress similar to the Kiyonna model you provided. You seem to have a penchant for lace and vintage styles, and unless one wishes to have a renaissance-inspired dress custom-made, it is difficult to find the vintage styles in plus-sizes.

But Allison is in luck, because while researching one of the two previous questions, she found these two beautiful dresses at Plus Size Bridal, which also meet your budget requirement!

Style 1755, available with long sleeves,

or (Francesca’s preference) short sleeves,

(and both look gorgeous from the back as well as the front).

If you can spend a little bit more than $600, you might also like Style #7409, which is adorned with crystals, beads and sequins both in front and back:

Francesca says: It is not difficult to find vendors of plus-size wedding dresses on the internet. Just use Google wisely, and always check return policies before ordering. Also, remember that quality may vary. This may matter to you, if you are spending much money. Or may not matter to you at all, if you see this as a dress you will wear only once. But be conscious of your choices, that is what Francesca says!

If you are ordering from Kiyonna Bridal (dress above, or a shorter version for $288) or Torrid Bridal (dresses for $140-220) please click through from the ads which appear on our site, on the right, for some savings.

Happy, happy wedding and marriage!

xoxo

Our internet friend Rubi writes:

Dear Francesca,

Much to my surprise, it is likely that I’ll be getting married in the not too distant future — and I’m wondering what to wear! It’s likely to be a daytime wedding, at a courthouse, with a small reception at a restaurant or friend’s house afterwards. I’m an hourglass, in my mid-forties, and not given to froufrou in my attire. My best features are my bosom and small waist — I’m not as keen on my big bottom or heavy legs. But I want something that is more than just a vanilla suit!

I am imagining myself in a tea-length dress, or slightly shorter. As for color, I would not be adverse to cream, but I am blonde and rosy of complexion, so a non-wimpy pastel would also be a good choice.

I should also add that I love hats, and wear them well. I have been also considering building an outfit around a hat…

I await with interest your good counsel.

Aha! A bride who loves hats!

Francesca has been waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to write in saying that she has a need for a spectacular hat and a matching outfit, because she frankly adores the hats and the matching suits at WomenSuits.com, but as you will see they are simply too FANTASTICAL to recommend for just any old event. But the wedding! The intimate affair of the confident woman in her mid-40’s and the wonderful man who wishes to share his life with her! The small celebration of the family and friends! The chance to wear the SPECTACULAR HAT!

Francesca is also very pleased to see that Rubi is not “married” (ha!) to the idea of wearing bridal white. The tradition of brides wearing white is relatively new, and quite unnecessary, especially when one has a pretty complexion which would be beautifully shown off by an equally pretty color.

Here is an outfit which may please the Rubi if she interested in indulging in a little wee bit of “froufrou,” in a color which looks fetching on blondes:

Francesca acknowledges that how this outfit will go over depends greatly on one’s style, and greatly on the region and culture in which one lives.

If that is too “froufrou” for the intimate affair, or if Rubi wants a somewhat shorter hem or more generously cut skirt, she might consider this plain-but-pretty dress in a similar color, from Igigi, which would do much to show off Rubi’s lovely bosom and hourglass figure. Style your hair in an up-do, put on the pretty jewelry and grab the flower bouquet, and you will be a beautiful bride!

(PS There is also a tea-length bridal dress at Kiyonna you might like, though it is white, not cream. More about Kiyonna Bridal in the next post!)

Please write to us after the wedding and tell us how it went! Francesca is so happy for you!

xoxo