Happiest of humpdays, friends and lovers!
First of all, great big globs of appreciation go out to everyone who helped with my query yesterday. I think the easiest plan of action is to bring her a dress that’s very similar to the one I want –albeit with a slightly different neckline– and have her copy that. I’m also up to my ears in fantastic fabrics, so I’m not sure whether to curse or kiss each one of you.
But my love/hate relationship with cotton lawn is not why you’re here. No, you’re coming for the Whisky and staying for the Tango Foxtrot.
I’m not going to lie: If these Sophie Gittins offerings were court shoes instead of peep-toed shbooties I would probably actually like them and, were they on serious sale, I might even add them to the Advanced Fashion Novelty division of the Plumcake Permanent Collection.
Don’t judge me.
But they’re not, so I won’t.
(you’re still judging me, aren’t you?)
What I WILL do is ask you for the situation where these shoes would be the only possible solution to your wardrobe emergency. I’ll be awarding extra points to anyone who includes references to Apocalypse Now or, for my fellow classicists, Heart of Darkness. No “The Horror” though…too easy.
I’m pretty sure the only acceptable situation for these shoes is if I’m stuck on the island in Lord of the Flies and they’ve given up on Piggy and are coming after me, and I need to stab some little pre-pubescent punks with a stiletto.
Comment by Melissa — March 28, 2012 @ 2:52 pm
I was thinking they might work for a hot date with a wookie perhaps?
(& yeah, kinda judging…)
Comment by Leah — March 28, 2012 @ 2:55 pm
I’d wear these after rising from my Pharoh’s tomb after being awakened from my 1,000 year slumber. Mummy-wrapping shoes go SO well with shiny gold masks and lapis-trimmed dresses, doncha think?
Comment by Molly Ren — March 28, 2012 @ 2:56 pm
Now that I live around hunters, these might be the only thing to convince me to go hunting. If I can wear these hiding in a blind or in a tree, when we’d be looking for…um…deer? Ducks? Snipe?
Comment by Ann — March 28, 2012 @ 3:01 pm
Zombie prom
Comment by Melody — March 28, 2012 @ 3:06 pm
A gallery opening in R’lyeh.
Comment by TeleriB — March 28, 2012 @ 3:06 pm
When Oscar the Grouch asks you on a date!
Comment by wildflower — March 28, 2012 @ 3:19 pm
Oooh, those are perfect to go with my “Sexy Ewok” halloween costume!
Comment by perletwo — March 28, 2012 @ 3:21 pm
Aren’t these the shoes The Manolo always brings up when someone asks for a budget option? You know, fashioned out of the broken down crates and soiled burlap potato bags from the dumpster behind your local Hippie-Mart?
Comment by Julie — March 28, 2012 @ 3:27 pm
This is too WTF Advanced for me. All I can say is that it makes me think of oily cardboard, pot roast stuck in your teeth, and barbed wire all at once.
Comment by Rebekka — March 28, 2012 @ 3:46 pm
Dumpster diving in West Hollywood – after the Apocalypse
Comment by Thea — March 28, 2012 @ 4:05 pm
As far as I’m concerned, TeleriB’s won the thread.
Comment by Molly Ren — March 28, 2012 @ 4:50 pm
As the piece de resistance of my Mr. Tumnus costume in the drag version of Chronicles of Narnia.
Comment by Jen209 — March 28, 2012 @ 4:53 pm
I think they just might add a touch of whimsy that your silver minidress needs when you are running from the Carousel with Micheal York.
Comment by Andrea — March 28, 2012 @ 4:58 pm
These would be perfect to ground my wood nymph dress for my hot date with Aragorn
Comment by Klee — March 28, 2012 @ 5:29 pm
OK judge me all you want, but I actually like these!! I agree that they would be even better as a court shoe but I would so wear them as they are with this dress http://elizaparker.com/venice-dress/
Comment by JosieBellaBirdie — March 28, 2012 @ 6:52 pm
This is obviously sasquatch formal wear!
Comment by Lora — March 28, 2012 @ 7:47 pm
The tv werewolf craze has gone too far when even shoes have gotten into it.
Comment by Mel — March 28, 2012 @ 8:26 pm
What to wear to the family Christmas dinner when you are feeling grinchy.
Comment by tracy — March 28, 2012 @ 8:56 pm
To go with this stunning bit of Camo formal gown http://www.promgirl.net/jovani-prom-dresses-2011-7830.html
Beautiful!
Comment by Jessica K — March 29, 2012 @ 12:51 am
Pssh, this is obviously created for the Girl Scout who needs to get her Fashionable Camouflage badge, awarded only to those who manage to stalk and bring down an unwitting Boy Scout using both stealth and killer fashion. If said Boy Scout is both afraid of and attracted to her at, she gets a Gold Award as well.
Comment by megaera — March 29, 2012 @ 4:48 am
Sorry… I’m judging… So very much.
TeleriB got the Lovecraft reference first, mine was to make Asenath in the musical “Shoggoth on the Roof” wear them the entire time. Oh well. So I’ll go to idea number two.
Sex and the City -Heart of Africa.
The girls get stranded in Congo without luggage and have to make do with what nature provides.
Comment by Ravna — March 29, 2012 @ 8:26 am
Holding court in the thunderdome…
Comment by cadpig — March 29, 2012 @ 9:36 am
The ultimate in day-to-evening wear, for those occasions when you must run directly from a jungle firefight to a cocktail soiree with the local dictator.
Comment by saraB — March 29, 2012 @ 10:03 am
African Queen post blow-up bash paired with a formal Ghillie suit. http://www.surplusplanet360.com/Ghillie-Suit-Adult-Camouflage-Complete-4pc-Voodoo-Tactical-2-7738.html?gclid=CO2Mq82tjK8CFc-a7QodORgZBA#
Comment by Sarah G. — March 29, 2012 @ 10:51 am
I vote for TeleriB as well, but before I saw her comment my answer would have been, of course, Ironic Hipster Chewbacca Costume.
Comment by Amatyultare — March 29, 2012 @ 11:43 am
My husband has astutely pointed out that these would be de rigueur for anyone who is both a drag queen and a sniper.
Comment by BSAG — March 29, 2012 @ 12:36 pm
When Birnham Wood hath come to Dunsinane. And invites you to tea with the Macbeths, and the Kardashians.
Comment by Jenny — March 29, 2012 @ 2:16 pm
Formal wear for forest elves.
Comment by emily — March 29, 2012 @ 9:00 pm
I would almost bet money that those came from Swamp Thing’s teenage daughter’s closet.
Comment by Haeiley — March 29, 2012 @ 9:31 pm
For my sexy bigfoot outfit.
Comment by Lisa from SoCal — March 29, 2012 @ 11:25 pm
I could see this on a formal day in “Waterworld”, you know the great movie with Kevin Costner, which I think coincided with his absence from Hollywood.
Comment by Tovah — March 29, 2012 @ 11:44 pm
Grab a spear, some feathers and head on down to the ritual head shrinking ceremony (and I don’t mean therapy)! Grass skirt and coconut shell bra optional.
Comment by moiraeknittoo — March 30, 2012 @ 6:03 pm
Survivor Barbie!
Comment by dcsurfergirl — March 31, 2012 @ 9:51 pm