Hello my little buttermilk biscuits, how’s every little thing?
have I responded to everyone’s questions from the Monday Post? If not, ask again and I’ll do my best to get to it today.
Now back to the second-to-last installation of the statement jewelry series: Bracelets.
As far as jewelry wickets go, bracelets are among the stickiest.
Still, I’ve picked out ten Plumcake-approved baubles from punk to prissy all advertised to fit a larger wrist and pictured here for your delectation and delight.
Just click the photos for shopping links.
First we’ve got to find one that fits, which requires an act of Congress, THEN we’ve got to make sure it doesn’t give us stump-arm, which requires an act of God. You know what I’m talking about when I say stump-arm right?
It’s the way a bad bracelet visually shortens your arms until you look like the star in an all-Tyrannosaurus Rex production of Auntie Mame. Sure, it makes a statement, but “transvestite thunder lizard” probably isn’t the direction we want to go quite yet.
I’ve only started wearing bracelets within the past few months. Historically I’d avoided them because:
a) It was difficult to find arm candy that was big enough to circumnavigate my 7.75″ wrist (not to mention slide over my giant mitts, made only from the finest of Virginia hams)
b) I don’t really like most stretch bracelets and non-stretch ones bothered me while I earned my crust of bread at the newspaper
c) My torso is long so it gives the appearance of having short arms. See stump-arm and drag queen dinosaur reference above
But somehow the stars aligned to make me A few months ago Hot Latin Boy bestowed unto me a custom parure of a necklace, earrings and bracelet he designed and commissioned just for yours truly.
Well I couldn’t NOT wear the bracelet so I slipped it over my wrist and was surprised by how pretty it looked with my white dress and tan (okay, you know what, I can hear you laughing and you all can just quit it right now, I totally had a tan. I was practically bronze, assuming the word bronze means “slightly darker than alabaster”) skin.
A month or so later I came into possession of a ridiculous stack of unadorned silver bangles that fit me perfectly and now I wear them at least once a week.
Six things to keep in mind for wearing bracelets:
The key to wearing statement bracelets is to make sure they’re not too tight, and have a little movement on the arm.
It’s strange, but one big thick bangle or cuff looks clunkier than that same bangle plus another slightly more delicate piece.
Don’t believe me? Go try it.
Getting a bracelet with dangling ornamentation is a fantastic way to get movement without bulk. I’m a huge fan.
Be careful with cuffs. I’ve got to be honest, I don’t just love big cuffs on big girls.
I love big cuffs in and of themselves, I even have a gorgeous 1970’s Pierre Cardin figural rams head cuff that probably weighs a pound and a half, but it’s very hit and miss as to when and how successfully I can wear it. The downside is, of course, that cuffs are the bracelets more likely to actually FIT a larger wrist.
If you want to do the cuff thing, look for something that tapers, the ones that are uniformly thick can look uniformly clunky. Not a fan.
Charm bracelets, when done right, are fantastic on a big girl.
The key is to keep from being cutesy.
Way back in the misty days of yore, from about the 1930’s to the 1960’s it wasn’t at all unusual for a woman to collect tiny little charms in the shape of shields as souvenirs from the places she’d visited.
They’re usually silver with an enameled crest with the place name and some local flora, fauna or site.
I have a travel bracelet full of little travel shield charms –although admittedly I buy them on eBay or Ruby Lane after I get back– to mark my favorite towns and cities.
I also get antique silver three-dimensional charms of every mode of transportation I’ve used.
Not only is a great piece of jewelry, it’s an heirloom in the making and a conversation piece.
You can point to the little horse and carriage and tell the grandkids about the time you took a surrey ride around Ensenada with a cute Mexican fella (extra bonus points if they’re HIS grandkids too) or the time you went to Wales on a ferry and had to throw yourself on the mercy of a stranger, which is how you spent the night in a place called “The Spider Cottage”.
Bangles: More is (sometimes) more. Up to a point that is, but usually five coordinating bangles are better than one and ten are better than five.
You’re generally safe taking a stack of bracelets 1/3rd of the way up your forearm.
Up to a half is doable with big stacks of chunky bracelets, but anything longer than that is seriously Advanced Fashion, so think it through.
Think about sleeve length. Easy rule of thumb:You want at least as much bare arm as you have bracelet-covered arm. If you are wearing bracelets that climb 5″ up the wrist, your sleeve should end no lower than five inches from the top of your northernmost bracelet.
Think outside the bracelet box. I’ve used bow ties, long necklaces, dog collars with vintage earrings attached, silk scarves, and just bits of ribbon onto which I’ve pinned a large antique brooch or fur clip.
Well, that’s all I’ve got for today. Stay tuned tomorrow for rings and various other ornamentation and if you have something to say, put it in the comments!